Does it bother you that women in your life would never try anything new?

Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
A lot of people in my real life are kind of prude sexually. They would never try butt sex or butt plugs. They don't use toys and don't like anything kinky. Obviously people on Eden Fantasies are more open to new sexual experiences and I love that. It drives me insane that women around me would never try anything new. Does this bother other people? And why don't they just keep an open mind?
05/03/2012
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Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
It doesn't bother me. It isn't my business what my friends do sexually or how they feel about things like sex toys.

I realize I have no control (nor understanding) of "why people think a certain way" so I try to stay as peaceful as possible, and I don't let things like this bother me.

I find I can stay peaceful more easily by simply NOT trying to change people's minds about personal things that they would rather not talk about..... like sex actions and sex toys.

It's their life, and unless they specifically ask me for advice, I don't say anything about things they have no interest in.

I've grown out of the age where I feel I need to shock people or put them out of their comfort zone about things like sex. As long as they aren't actively hurting anyone else. (I'd say something to a homophobic person, but not to someone who randomly said, "I don't use sex toys." There is a huge difference.)

People won't change their sex habits by being talked at, so I don't bother.
05/03/2012
Contributor: VelvetDragon VelvetDragon
I'm with P'Gell. People should be able to do whatever they want with their sexual lives (safe, sane, consensual). That includes NOT having sex, or sticking to sex during marriage, or only having vanilla sex.

No one should have to hear about anyone's sex life if they don't want to. I'm not talking a couple (or triad, or whatever) of any genders holding hands and kissing in public, I mean details. I'm very sexually open and active, obviously, but no one should talk to me about sex if I don't want it, it's a form of sexual harassment, just like being flashed.

As long as people don't impose THEIR sexual norms and rules on me, then I have absolutely no problem with it. (It gets to be a problem when they are making laws about what *I* can do with my romantic or sexual life, beyond safe, sane, and consensual.)

I also hate these labels, i.e. if a woman has sex she's a slut, if she doesn't have sex, she's prude or an ice queen.
05/03/2012
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
it bothers me that people act like it's filthy.
05/03/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
I am neutral on the subject. If people want to discuss it then I will otherwise I leave it alone. There are many people who think I am a prude--Obviously not here on EF!--since I am quiet, conservative and embarrass easily. One of my closest friends about had a heart attack when she saw a corset drying in my bathroom--I laughed, told her there were many things she didn't know about me and left it at that.
05/03/2012
Contributor: Khanner Khanner
I guess me and my friends are pretty open. We don't go into detailed TMI but if we have a sexual problem we can ask for advice without being looked down on for the most part, as long as you're not oversharing.
05/03/2012
Contributor: powerandintent powerandintent
It doesn't bother me what other people do in their own sex life, but it definitely bothers me when people make rude comments just because I've had anal.
05/03/2012
Contributor: butts butts
It bothers me because MOST of the time people aren't open to trying things because they have certain connotations behind them, like "girls who like anal are sluts because there's nothing up there for girls", which ISN'T true at all, the anus is a highly erogenous zone, or people who ignore their G/p-spots because "they don't believe in them". How do you NOT believe in an ORGAN? You should be open if they're even semi appealing to you, regardless of the reputation that toy/act might have, it's not like you have to tell people that your husband loves being pegged or anything of the sort. A lot of men won't try prostate or anal play because they "dont do gay shit", but it's NOT gay at ALL. Males have nerves down there too, and prostates, it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. Some GAY MEN don't like anal! If something just DOESN'T sound good to you, like nipple clamps for example, there's no reason you have to try them, just don't reject them because of negative connotations. I personally hate nipple play (on myself), but that's because I'm trans, my nipples are a source of body dysphoria for me, AND I don't have sensitive nipples at all. It has nothing to do with anything I've heard about them or people I've seen using them.
05/03/2012
Contributor: Rockasaurus Rockasaurus
Quote:
Originally posted by sweetpea12
A lot of people in my real life are kind of prude sexually. They would never try butt sex or butt plugs. They don't use toys and don't like anything kinky. Obviously people on Eden Fantasies are more open to new sexual experiences and I love ... more
I generally figure live and let live- some people might not be interested because they have tried toys and don't like them or some might be simply nervous. My partner and I were nervous about bringing toys into our sex life because neither of us would say we are very adventurous. But now that we have we wouldn't go back.
05/05/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Eh, it's their lives, I have no right to tell them how to live them. Less stress on me. And it's none of their business about my life, either. (Although round-about discussions have given me the impression that nobody I know would approve of me being a sub. What they don't know won't offend them.)

Trying to change people's minds is no better than banging your head into a wall. If they can't convert you to their way of thinking, what makes you think you can convert them to yours?

If you're complaining about simply not having anyone to talk to in real life, I can see the problem. At least you do have EF.
05/05/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
It doesn't bother me. If other people want to have bland sex, it's their choice. I'll happily give them advice if they're curious, but that's it.
05/05/2012
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
It doesn't bother me. It isn't my business what my friends do sexually or how they feel about things like sex toys.

I realize I have no control (nor understanding) of "why people think a certain way" so I try to stay as ... more
Beautifully said, my dear.
05/05/2012
Contributor: All His All His
Quote:
Originally posted by VelvetDragon
I'm with P'Gell. People should be able to do whatever they want with their sexual lives (safe, sane, consensual). That includes NOT having sex, or sticking to sex during marriage, or only having vanilla sex.

No one should have to hear ... more
completely agree. It is an individuals choice what they do sexually and even whether they have sex at all.
That being said I surround myself with stronger women and wouldn't be surprised if they have more than vanilla sex. I was raised my a father who only had girls and a strong mother. My mother never spoke badly about anything sexual and my father taught us that as long as it is safe and consensual there is no reason to not embrace what you want sexually no matter how much or little it is.
05/05/2012
Contributor: married with children married with children
I dont like it when she is closed minded about something between us. I try just about anything, as long is it is just between the two of us.
05/06/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Eh, doesn't much bug me. I do get a sense of "they don't know what they're missing!" but everyone has their own tastes and interests and that's groovy. There's things that I don't want to try out, so it doesn't make sense for me to get annoyed with anyone else if they'd rather not try something.

I will say I don't like when people vilify others because they don't approve of certain sex acts. They're welcome to their opinions, but it's irritating and rude to act like someone is disgusting just because they use toys, are into bondage, have threesomes, etc. So long as it's safe, sane, and consensual, who cares? Various misconceptions can be annoying, as well (the idea that trying anal makes a man gay, for example).

For that matter, your title's a little one-sided. There's plenty of men in the world who don't try new stuff, either.
05/06/2012