sex after kids

acessorie acessorie
Has your sex life changed after kids? If so how?
09/01/2011
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Peggi Peggi
I am answering this for two friends of mine who have 3 kids.

Their sex life didn't change after kids 1 and 2, but after their 3rd, it did, only because they hardly find the time!!! And work schedules conflicting! But, the sex drive is still there, when they aren't too exhausted to think about it! She says, her sex drive is still the same if not more, he said he thinks less and less about sex these days but still enjoys it when he finds the time He is 28, she is 24
09/01/2011
oldhippy oldhippy
As I remember from when our kids were at home, the sex desires didn't decrease much while they were young, just the opportunities. Even if you wanted to do it, the ability or the opportunity wasn't always there. Once the kids left home, then the opportunity for more "play time" came about. A bit more exploration and experimentation because there was less pressure, and more time. I love my kids, but they can put a bit of a damper on the sex time while they grow up.
09/01/2011
meitman meitman
Stop it Peggi! You're scaring me! The wife and I are around the same age and about to have our third kid. So far when she's not pregnant our sex life isn't much different as far as frequency. Having kids does alter how much time you have and when you can play. Just means you have to get more creative I guess
09/02/2011
Ava5 Ava5
Yeah it's a time issue. We have virtually no time between our 2 kids and his work. I think about it everyday but there is just no time. And he seems to have no desire because he is so afraid of me getting pregnant again.. lol.
09/02/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by meitman
Stop it Peggi! You're scaring me! The wife and I are around the same age and about to have our third kid. So far when she's not pregnant our sex life isn't much different as far as frequency. Having kids does alter how much time you have ... More
Took the words right out of my mouth!
09/02/2011
Beck Beck
No issue here, we have two kids. One almost 3 year old and one 6 month old. We find lots of time to do it. They go to bed at 8:30 and we have sex once they are down. We make time, sure I am tired but I am never that tired! We do it daily, I am 22 and he is 41!
09/02/2011
married with children married with children
yes, everything changes after you have kids. Your whole life revolves around your kids. But we still have sex almost as much as we did before we had kids.
09/03/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Our kids are older now. I remember when we had a 2,3, and 4 year old in the house...insane! We resorted to having sex wherever we could grab a few minutes. Now they are 7, 14, 15, 16 and the older ones are pretty wrapped up in their own worlds with the youngest tagging along with them. We have a lot more time now and its still great!
09/03/2011
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by acessorie
Has your sex life changed after kids? If so how?
Biggest problem is not enough time and when you do have the time you can absolutely count on one waking up during or right after sex.
09/03/2011
mama2007 mama2007
i have 2 kids, son is going to be 4 on December 14 and daughter will be 3 on October 20; meaning they are 10 months and like 6 days apart in age. We MAKE/find time to have sex.when he was at old job and on 2nd shift, we would during naptime but now that hes on day shift, it has to be after kids go to bed and when he's not too tired.

sometimes 1 kid wakes up and cries for w/e weird reason or won't go to sleep, so we have to stop for 3 mins for me to get re dressed and check on kid(s) lol. but as for sex drive; mine stayed same and even when we had 10 month old and a newborn, we found time after 3 wks (i was on depo shot right b4 i left hospital), during naptime and bedtime.
09/04/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
For us, the first couple of months after the birth of each baby was difficult (or at least less frequent) for us sexually. We DID have sex, but my drive was muted by constant baby needs, being touched ALL the time by a tiny person who needed my body to survive and lack of sleep.

After the "Hundred Days Crying" (what people in China call Colic. It lasts about 100 days and there is... crying. All my kids had colic, but the oldest had it the worst.) things got somewhat better.

Things got a LOT better around the one year mark. I usually get my period back when my babies are between 12 and 14 months, due to continued breastfeeding (I breastfeed a lot longer than that, but that's when my estrogen kicks back in again, and most women who Ecologically Breastfeed see about a year of no periods after the birth) and my drive continues to increase.

By the time they are sleeping through the night (between one and two years with my kids) things are on an even keel, except for when babies are sick or need Mama in the night or whatever.

It did make a huge difference in our sex life, BUT, getting to know each other as the children got older and more independent lead to a lot of good things.

I take everything as FLOW. One things follows an other and the less than heavy sex drive I have when I have just had a baby is actually an evolutionary advantage so that THAT baby gets my undivided attention by my not having an other child too soon. We did have sex, often within days of the babies being born, but I enjoy it a lot more when I don't have the constant needs of a baby on my mind. Of course when I do have a baby to take care of, I don't really think about sex all that much. My kids NEED me and I know they will grow and things will change between My Man and I. Then, as they don't need me all the time, there is the cycling back to HIS needs being met, as well as mine.

It all evens out. I wouldn't have traded Attachment Parenting our babies for anything in the world.
09/05/2011
- Kira - - Kira -
I have a two year old and he has made a huge difference in our sex life. Before our son, my husband and I had sex nearly every night. After our son I found that sheer exhaustion wiped my sex drive just about clean. Then there's the time constraint. Where before there were times where we would get home from work and have sex, that's not an option when you have a kid. You have to wait until after bedtime and even then you can be distracted by a child waking up in the night. Our sex life suffered a lot when our son was little. Now that he is older, we are getting back in our groove. It's not what it was, but every night is unrealistic for a couple with a child I think. Whereas before it was very spur of the moment, now sex is more planned and known in advance. We go out of our way to make time for it so it doesn't get lost in the hustle and bustle of childrearing. I still WANT to have sex, but by 9:00pm after a full day of work and being a mom, being so tired kills it for me.
09/08/2011
tammyandy69 tammyandy69
Quote:
Originally posted by acessorie
Has your sex life changed after kids? If so how?
I would have to say yes, not that they are grown and gone. I finally have a partner that is open to most anything and exploring with me. He has no problems with me using my toys in front of him when i need to get off and he just isnt up to it. We all have days that we just arnt into it so, it's nice that i can enjoy with out judgement.
09/15/2011
acessorie acessorie
We have an 11 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old and it waxes and wanes for us. There will be months where we are having sex every day and then stuff comes up and stress settles in for a nice visit so it drops down to once a week for a few months. Unless I'm battling insomnia then its every night regardless its the only thing that gets me to sleep lol
09/15/2011
LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
ya it has we have less sex sadly due to taking care of our son, and being busy busy busy.
09/18/2011
unfulfilled unfulfilled
Intimate play time revolves around planning so there's no spontaneous sessions like when we were without children, but as far as quantity goes I don't think it has changed.
09/19/2011
Mr. John Mr. John
Quote:
Originally posted by acessorie
Has your sex life changed after kids? If so how?
It's certainly less complicated.
04/16/2013
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 17