Coming home by Wicked Pictures - review by TitsMcScandal

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Becoming Bored…

This overly long movie is boring and repetitive. It is hard to get into and boring for the most part. The movie however does have a decent storyline, just really boring sex.
Published:
Pros:
Nice bonus features, cool message, decent storyline.
Cons:
LONG, repetitive, boring, not interesting for the most part.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
I was looking forward to getting this movie. I don’t have many adult films, and I usually pick them carefully. I don’t want to be paying for something that I will only watch once. Coming Home is a film from Wicked Pictures and runs over three hours. It won three AVN awards, so I was expecting this to be a good movie. Sadly, for me it was not the best pick.

The storyline is that Brian (Brad Armstrong) is getting called to duty in Iraq. His girlfriend, Sarah (Kristen Price) gives him a ‘wild night’ before he ships out. He asks his best friend Jimmy (Barret Blade) to watch out for his girlfriend when he is gone. Jimmy has a girlfriend though, Monica (Shyla Stylez) who when thinking that Jimmy and Sarah are getting too close, takes some action herself.

~Spoilers, I talk about the storyline in depth~

So usually I would break this down by scenes, but it is hard to do that because there is quite a bit of storyline in here. You get the beginning where the background is laid. Brian gets his letter, tells his girlfriend and they have sex. This part irked me. The sex is just so-so. First of all, it is very commercial porn, I feel like. There isn’t anything really interesting going on, fake moans, and not very passionate. See, that irks me more than anything, if your boyfriend is going off to war, you’re going to have some passion. I just didn’t feel it…

The next part introduces the best friend Jimmy and his girlfriend Monica. It’s a double date where they talk about the war some more. Jimmy and Monica go home and have some sex. It was a tad bit more interesting, but not much. At least it felt a bit more real. A bit. Once again though, there was nothing special in here. Oral and vaginal up to this point. Nothing to write home about.

The next bit is a random sex scene with Brian’s brother (who has not been introduced before this or even talked about) and a girl. Neither character is talked about or anything. It is introduced by Brian yelling “Brother, be quiet” or something like that. The oral in this scene is a bit more watchable, some deepthroat action is going on, but overall, it is boring. I find myself getting tired around this point. I want them to speed things up. The scenes are way too long to endure without being interesting.

Brian goes off to war. Fake crying from the girlfriend ensues. I have more emotional breakdowns when I leave for a week from my boyfriend. He gets ‘trained’. This is a pretty good scene. The drill sergeant was really convincing with a little speech he gave. For being a non-sex scene in a porno, it was great. He writes letters to his girlfriend and stays faithful. Very nice little scene.

Finally an interesting scene comes up. Three soldier couples are getting down and busy in the same tent. The music is a little weird, but a scene that at least keeps your attention and doesn’t make you feel like you need a dose of caffeine to stay awake. At this point though I was already so bored with the movie that it was hard for me to get into this scene even though it was decent. It went from three separate couples to two threesomes (one MMF and one FFM).

Then there is a scene in Iraq with Brian and an imaginary Sarah. It is the first time in the movie we see any real female oral attention that is longer than five seconds. It's actually a pretty good scene. There was no sound though, only this awkward music. When the actual fucking happened, the music faded a small bit so you could hear the fake moans. This scene is more interesting with the setting and positions at least, so it holds your attention.

We then see the tragic scene, blood and the echo of 'Man down, man down'. Personally, it was a really hard scene for me to watch. I had to pause the movie and take a break. If your partner, or any close friends/family are away now, I'd say you might have the same reaction.

Jimmy then goes to see Sarah. Even though the acting is subpar, I was still teary. He's the one who convinces her to get out of bed after spending a while in bed (it is hinted that it has been a week or so). The fake crying annoys me more than anything else. They end up going to a drive-in where Brian's brother confronts the two of them because it 'looks bad' even though they aren't doing anything.

-continued in experience section-
Experience
Then we get a close-up on the car next to them after they've left. This is my favorite scene for the fact that Derrick Pierce is in it. Fucking yum. He's amazing. Like, seriously. Words cannot explain. There are two couples in the car and we go back and forth between the action on both of them.

Then we see Jimmy's girlfriend confront him about his friendship with Sarah. So of course he drives off and gets Sarah to go for a ride. They talk about what the townspeople are talking about, them.

~Another warning about spoilers!!! I am talking about more specific things than the synopsis gives away!!!~

Jimmy and Sarah end up having sex. It is probably the most disappointed I've ever been in a porno. I felt like screaming my disapproval at the screen. The scene itself takes place outdoors and is one of the more passionate scenes thus far, so it holds your attention. They show a montage of cutesy things between Jimmy and Sarah after this, sort of making you assume they are in love/dating/seeing each other.

BUT then we see apparently he is still with Monica, who he walks in on cheating with some other random guy. So then they break up and we see a sex scene between Monica and the guy she was cheating on Jimmy with. Some more decent female oral attention. She is moving around a crazy amount though, which is really distracting. I was really disappointed with this scene because she was good and somewhat real in her first scene and this one was just a bit of a fail.

THEN BRIAN COMES HOME!!! Shock! Sarah is making dinner for Jimmy when he shows up. The reaction between Sarah, Jimmy, and Brian is completely weird and strange, and not at all realistic. It was almost comedic. Which is not what they were going for I'm assuming.

Brian goes to a strip club to get over it. Of course he and the stripper end up having a sex scene. Vaguely interesting. At this point I am so bored with everything in this movie. It feels so repetitive.

The rest I'm going to leave as a surprise, but there is more repetitive sex.

The storyline itself is decent, especially for a porno. The fact that it had me in tears says something, ya know? There is not a scene that goes by without a condom, which is good for safe sex, but annoys the heck out of me. I don't like the look of it. That's just me though.

It offers an interesting perspective on war. You don't usually watch pornos for their message though, so I don't know how impacting it is.

I dislike that you have to watch the trailers EVERY time you put this in. Very annoying.

Disc Two:

-The making of
-bloopers
-deleted scene
-shooting the box
-bonus sex scenes
-photo galleries
-star galleries
-star stats
-trailers
-promo reel

So the second disc has a lot of additional info. Which is cool. I still feel like for me, it wasn't the right fit. The dvd got boring and repetitive. The sex scenes felt extremely fake. I just didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would have.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Coming home tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
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Comments
  • Miss Cinnamon
    Huh. I've never been made to cry by a porn. Then again, I don't think I'd enjoy "faking" in the sex scenes. Nice review!
  • Kayla
    PooPoo! That sounds horrible. Wicked Films usually has some good films, so I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. Great and amazing review though.
  • ~LaUr3n~
    LOL Whay would they pick this story line? To appeal more to guys? I thought porn appealed to guys enough lol. Great review.
  • TitsMcScandal
    @Cynthia- My best guy friend is going over to Iraq soon, so it was something really emotional for me. I definitely would NOT recommend this for ladies who have husbands/boyfriends over fighting in the war.

    @Mistress Kay- Yeah, it just wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Pretty much the exact same action sequences, just different pairings. Nothing new in any of the scenes. You know it must be boring when you just want to fast forward through the sex scenes or they make you sleepy!

    @Lauren- Yea, it is a really really strange storyline to have in a porno. Felt out of place.
  • Adriana Ravenlust
    I wonder if it has to do with Brad Armstrong. I felt similarly about Fallen
  • Kynky Kytty
    Wow... wow... I don't usually read porn reviews, and I don't know how this compare to another movie's story line, but this sounds so lame. And like you said, the war part is a little rough. Thanks for the review, Babydoll.
  • Sammi
    Sounds like too much story and too little sex for me
    Good review!
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