Vivid girls designer harness Janine - dildo harness by Doc Johnson - review by Porfiriato

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Absolutely Terrifying.

Huge! If the prospect of taking a dildo with an insertable length of 7 inches and a diameter of just over 2 inches fills you with excitement, this is a good option. If you are anything other than a very experienced pro who can handle this girth, there are many other good options out there, even within the vac-u-lock family of products.
Published:
Pros:
Amazing vac-u-lock system, stable, sturdy harness
Cons:
Huge! Best left to only the most experienced size queens.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

This harness/dildo set is designed for only those who require the biggest size possible. Doc Johnson must have upgraded the size of the dildo since the description went live on the site, because the listed dimensions no longer describe what I got in the box. While the site lists the dildo at a reasonable 1 3/8 inch in diameter, I got out the measuring tape and at the largest part, this dildo measures in at just over 2 inches in diameter. Making this girth all the more challenging, the head of the cock is the biggest part, with very little taper. This means unless you are accustomed to this girth, and have prepped your ass well with a training toy like the Tantus Severin or Doc Johnson Triple Ripple, insertion will be difficult to impossible.

Buyers beware, this is a pro- only toy. Your ass has to be ready to swallow that girth, and you have to respect your ass enough not to force it.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Pegging
    • Strap-on sex
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Not travel friendly

Material

The dildo is made of jelly, which means that it is nice and squishy but it has a very rubbery smell and feel. The smell will rub off on your hands when you handle it even for brief periods. This toy has been sitting in a drawer for months, and the smell remains.

Jelly is one of the least safe materials on Eden's material safety scale, earning 2 points out of 10. Jelly cannot be sterilized, and I would recommend using a condom for each use, especially if sharing between partners. Larger condoms work best, I wouldn't want to try to wrangle a standard sized condom over this beast of a dildo.

The harness is made of PVC, sharing many of the same maintenance and cleaning requirements as jelly.
    • Mixed materials

Design / Craftsmanship

The front of the harness resembles panties, with two 1/2 inch straps running from the crotch back to the waistband, hugging the butt. It uses Doc Johnson's Vac-U-lock system. As you can see in the product images, a white 'plug' snaps into the harness using four snaps, and the dildo fits onto this plug, sandwiching the front of the harness between the dildo and the wide back of he plug. The plug is padded where it touches your skin, which is a very nice touch. The Vac-u-lock system is ingenious, as attaches the dildo to the harness extremely securely, yet the dildo slides on and off the plug very easily with the included powder lubricant.

While the harness was fairly stable, even it seemed not to be able to work with this large of a dildo. No matter how we adjusted it (and all straps are adjustable) it sagged with the weight of this gigantic dong.

We are big fans of the vac-u-lock system because of its versatility. The same harness can fit a multitude of dildos, and you can take the dildo off the harness and fit it with a suction cup, or plug it onto a rider ball. While we were hoping this could be a good introduction into the system, we were simply over matched by the dildo.

The dildo itself is quite possibly the largest I've ever seen, let alone tried to work into my ass. I've measured it and can report that the dildo has an overall length of 9 inches, 7 of which are insertable.
The diameter of the largest part of the dildo, at the rim of the head, is just over 2 inches, with a circumference of 6.5 inches. At the middle of the shaft, the diameter narrows to about 1.8 inches.

The cock is a frosted white color, and fairly realistic, with lots of veins running across the shaft. The base is enormous to keep this giant standing, and it does a very good job if you wish to squat over this dildo.
    • Fits many size toys
    • No o-ring needed
    • Stylish

Size / Fit

The fit of the harness was great. It might chafe a bit at the edges after a while, but for this price the sturdiness of the harness is the best that can be expected. Since it can accomodate up to a 44 inch waist, this harness should fit a wide variety of users. If you're after luxurious comfort and absolute sturdiness, look elsewhere.
    • Adjustable
    • Fits comfortably
    • Will fit most body sizes and types

Performance

The harness worked well, and would work even better if matched with a more appropriate dildo. If you want to use the supplied 9 inch long by 2 inches in diameter dildo, you may want to look at sturdier option, as this one seemed weighed down. It was surprisingly comfortable to wear for the price, however.

As we stated above, the vac-u-lock system is great, fastening the toys to the harness securely, but at the same time it will not require too much effort to take the toys on and off.

The dildo will require quite a bit of lube, both because of the size, as well as the fact that the material has a bit of drag.
    • Easy to put on
    • Holds toys very well

Care and Maintenance

Both harness and dildo can be cleaned with hot water and a good toy cleaner. PVC is exceptionally easy to clean.

The jelly dildo should be cleaned before and after each use, and condoms are strongly recommended, even if you do not intend to share the toy. Once washed and dried, it should be stored in a cool, dark place.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Personal comments

This dildo/harness set is made for a very particular user, and this was not what we were looking for. That being said, couples who are looking to be stretched by a 2 inch wide dong will be happy with this set. Some anal adventurers will be excited by the tremendous girth and up to the challenge of working up to being able to take this size.

But I think the vast majority of users will be disappointed, as the girth might simply be too large for even those who consider themselves to be intermediate to advanced users. Don't have any illusions, this is a tool for pros only, and should only be approached when you know you are ready.

Experience

Unfortunately this toy has been banished from our bedroom, as it is simply not what we were looking for. With a lot of lube and a lot of patience, I could work up to being able to take more of this toy than I can now, but I'm not really looking for that kind of stretch. My girlfriend certainly will not allow it anywhere near her vagina. I wish the dimensions had been more clear on the box and website.

However, the silver lining to all of this is that we have fallen in love with the vac-u-lock system, and now have a harness that will be much more workable with a smaller dildo.

Size is entirely subjective. While this dildo was entirely too large for us, others might embrace the challenge. We will award this combo 2 stars out of 5, with most of he deduction coming from the jelly material of the dildo, and the fact that the harness did not seem to measure up to the size of dildo.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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Comments
  • Kimbertrees
    Kimbertrees  
    Great review!
  • Jobthingy
    Jobthingy  
    EEP! Sorry it was too big for you, but at least, like you said you got the harness.
  • Porfiriato
    Porfiriato  
    Yes, and we have a new silicone dildo on the way, so we'll keep you posted about how it worked
  • ToyGeek
    ToyGeek  
    Wow that's big. Thanks for the review!
  • Airen Wolf
    Airen Wolf  
    Holy crap that thing looks HUGE!!! I'm a bonefide size queen and this makes me pause and reconsider!
  • Porfiriato
    Porfiriato  
    It's very large, and the material is not great. Even if you are looking for a huge dong, I'd look elsewhere
  • Sammi
    Sammi  
    I love the color of the harness - very pretty
    Good review!
  • Porfiriato
    Porfiriato  
    Yes, the harness was definitely the silver lining of this experience. The color was both very pretty and unique among the harnesses on this site. We can't wait to get a more size-appropriate dildo for it
  • cherryredhead88
    cherryredhead88  
    LOL, "your ass has to be ready to swallow that girth, and you have to respect your ass enough not force it."


    Are those ever words of wisdom

    As a size queen I must say this one doesn't appeal to me, but then again my size queen- ness stops at 2". Hmmm might bust out Tommy Gunn now that I think of it...

    Thanks for the excellent review !
  • Raggedy Andie
    Raggedy Andie  
    Great review!
  • ToyingCouple
    ToyingCouple  
    Great review... kudos for trying this!
  • SexDirector
    SexDirector  
    loved the review, lots of clever twists and turns, also great at painting the picture! FYI, I have an interesting collection, some very large dildo's, this one is definitely big! I'd have to say though Jeff Stryker is the biggest/baddest I've tried.The outlaw is big and very long but comfortable (relatively speaking). Look at my review "slick fulfilling either end" for a nice large, but very fun, useful dildo-Vac-U-Loc to!
    A couple suggestions! Buy a carpenter's bit brace and a 3/4" drill bit, then by boring a hole into any solid dildo you can use t with the Vac-U-Loc System. Many times at tag sales with old tools you can find a bit-brace and any hardware store will have the drill bit. Take your time drilling and you'll do fine. (buy a couple really cheapo dongs to practice on).
  • pinkzombie
    pinkzombie  
    Awesome review!
  • fromazoo
    fromazoo  
    Great review
  • NastyRedSlut
    NastyRedSlut  
    I love girth! Bring it!!
  • TexasBrat
    TexasBrat  
    Thanks for the review! I think I could take that on!!!
  • kadytheredpanda
    kadytheredpanda  
    Damn, that's huge!
  • SUBMISSIVE
    SUBMISSIVE  
    Great! Thank you!
  • heather-mooney
    heather-mooney  
    thank you!
  • Kitt Katt
    Kitt Katt  
    How is it that Eden still has the size listed incorrectly?
Forum
Discussion Posts Last Update
How big is too big? 9
Large and good material/price 2
Biggest dildo you'd want in a harness? 7
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