Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage - book by Seal press - review by jedent

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A no bullshit look at the concept of open marriage

A very close look at the concept of open marriage by a woman who lives in one. The author references many other works and lays it all out for you to make your own choice on the matter, but clearly she is in favor of this lifestyle. Very thought provoking.
Published:
Pros:
Wonderfully written, excellent points, very matter of fact.
Cons:
Some poor editing in parts, not that big of an issue.
Rating by reviewer:
4
useful review
My husband and I both read this book, and let me tell you, I attacked a good number of pages with a highlighter.

The author discusses the various meanings of an open marriage by explaining her own personal experience in hers. The interesting part is that she does not get emotional like I have seen some writers do. She gives it to you straight and mulls over the insignificant stuff. This book is very matter-of-fact in that the author relies on research and often sites other works. That's not to say that she does not have an opinion, because obviously she does, as she is in an open marriage and she defends her right to do so. What she doesn't do is pine over the ones who have come and gone, or lash out at those who have called her a slut.

She encourages you to define your own marriage, and points out that human beings were never really meant to be monogamous. In the 1800's marriage was more about money and who you knew, and only around the turn of the century when people began reading novels did romantic love truly become a factor in marriage. Furthermore she explains that since the 1950's all we've ever really known was the stay at home mom, the hard working father, the 2.5 kids and the dog named Sparky. Therefore, in the society we have today this is the only thing we can see, which is why homosexuals and open marriages are seen as such a threat to "normal life”.

The author concludes with the notion that what goes on behind closed doors in ANY marriage is private, and an open marriage should be respected in the same manner. She tells us that we need different people for different things. In her situation where she loves her husband very very much, and they have a wonderful relationship, but he does not have the sex drive to keep up with hers.

My husband said that he liked the book so much that he wanted to read it again, because it was so clear and it was so much in tune with his own opinions. I enjoyed it because of her no bullshit approach to this sticky subject that, really, has been around for years, as the cheating statistics are sky high. People in an open marriage just make it known to one another by keeping all of their cards in view.
Follow-up commentary
I've spread the word about this book and sometimes it pisses people off. Some days I think that society is open to Open Marriage, and other days I think it's like we're still living in the dark ages.

I still say the book was excellent as far as giving a no bullshit approach to the subject. I would recommend to anyone.
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Comments
  • Sammi
    Sounds like an interesting read Smile
  • her.royal.redness
    Sounds like a very stimulating read. Thanks for the review!
  • ThePornLibrarian
    Have you read Tristan Taormino's book on the same subject?? It was really great and wonder how this compares. I think you just convinced me to check it out!
  • Adriana Ravenlust
    Any specific thing you liked? You covered the general feel of the book well but I like to see excerpts.
  • jedent
    My husband really enjoyed the part where she said that people write in to her and say "you're selfish for wanting more," and she explains that it's just that these people are lacking in their own relationships so they must lash out at others. I thought that was a really important part too because she tells you how to deal with people's comments, and that is to just not take them to heart.
  • Airen Wolf
    So good to see you did read the book! It is a very good look at what people who choose to open their marriages, and live openly in them are viewed and treated.
    Nice review!
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