Supersex - guides to a better sex by DK Publishing - review by Ashly Star

The author of this book is Tracey Cox. She used to be an editor for Cosmopolitan magazine in Australia and she has written a handful of books before. I've never read anything by her though. The writing in this book showed her to be rather witty and humorous, as well as fun and upbeat. She shares a few personal stories through out the book.

The stories and blurbs she shared tended to be amusing and to me, it's always nice to read about the lighter, amusing side of sex. There is a section that answers some very common, but embarrassing questions about sex, relationships, and the human body. The way the author responded to the questions was comical and entertaining. She seems to convey points in a very one-sided, black and white manner and that bugs me and also comes across as obnoxious at times.

The book starts with instructions on how to touch your partner, for both males and females. It's really basic stuff. For me, I took nothing new away from it. For someone new to exploring sex, or just someone shy or inexperienced, it would possibly be great. The same goes for the next section on teasing your lover. It's pretty nicely written, but also very basic.

In the tease section, there are a few pages on 'Single Sex Vs Couple Sex'. That whole section just annoyed me for the most part. I found the ideas in it to be mostly ridiculous in my own opinion. Sure, for a lot of people I'm sure it's true, but for me? Ridiculous. I can't speak for everyone though so to me what was silly might have not annoyed someone else. To help illustrate my point, I'll give you an example that particularly ground against my nerves.

"The downside of couple sex is being stuck in a bad sex cycle. If you're single and have bad sex, you can walk away and try your luck elsewhere. If you're married or in a relationship, you're stuck with it. Even worse, you're forced to do what everyone dreads: work on the relationship. (Ughh!) "

Where to start with that small paragraph? I couldn't believe that it's dreadful to work on a relationship. In my opinion, the only way to successfully make a long term relationship work is to put effort into it and WORK on things when they get rough. It happens to any and everyone in a relationship long enough. You have to put in the effort, and work at things to keep things running smoothly. Be it in the bedroom, communicating or any other aspect of things. Relationships take work to make them go. If you dread doing things to better your relationship, maybe you need to re-evaluate things. Just my opinion.

Also, the book talks about how couples have "sensationally soppy spoon sex, sex where you both laugh yourselves stupid and sex where you both stop halfway through, hug fiercely, and say, "God, I love you!" While singles have more variety, more options and aren't stuck with the same things over and over.

I don't find that to be true either because I've got three years with my guy under the belt and we still have some amazing, exciting, unique moments. I know we're not the only ones. The idea that couples all fall into having the same boring sex after a certain point, to me seems ridiculous. Sure, it does happen but it doesn't mean that's the only flavor going on. I've had some of the hottest, kinkiest, mind blowing, body numbing moments with my boyfriend, and they weren't all in the beginning either.

Then there's the guide on how to strip. I read it and I giggled through out it. If someone stripped for me the way the book instructs, I would laugh because it seems more like a script for a scene in a movie or a cheesy porn flick. Or maybe I'm simplistic in the way I dress as I don't go out wearing skirts, heels, garter belts, hose and the whole shebang for a normal day out. Of course if you plan in advance to be doing this strip show later, wearing all of that would make sense.

It also seems too cliche and a bit over done though and that for me takes away some of the strip tease appeal. I like something that doesn't look like it was planned down to the move by move. The strip tease, the book explains, has you dressed to the nines as I mentioned in the outfit above and drinking champagne to add to the sex appeal. I think the basic idea behind the moves is pretty good, but the directions are just a bit too cliche for me honestly. Taking the movements and steps in account and tweaking them to what would work for you and rock for the person you're dancing for would probably turn out awesome though.

Something else that irked me was that she actually said as a woman, you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to give a man blowjobs. If you don't he will lose interest and move on from you to someone who will suck his dick. Or if you're in a relationship, he'll just get from someone else, the blowjob you're not giving him. According to the book and I'm being serious here. That sounds silly to me. Maybe if you're just dating around and not serious with someone then yeah, I can see that happening. In a marriage or long term relationship? If that's a deal breaker and something that makes a man cheat then.... *sigh* I personally love oral sex but I hate her notion that as a woman you have to give out regular blowjobs to keep your man.

The "sure-thing sex positions" displayed in another section of the book look pretty cool, though they aren't anything new or unique. You need to be in good shape to do most of them, and though they look cool, I'm not sure how good they would be for a prolonged period of time. Worth trying perhaps but I think I'll be passing on most of them. I'm not in bad shape and I'm decently flexible but still, based on the looks of them I'd pass still, lol. Some look more painful than pleasurable and others look like they'll be more time and trouble to get into than they would be worth, lol.

Something else that annoyed me throughout the book? Seeing things like this. "sennnnnnsational", "Imagine how I felt!!!!!!", "Oooooowwwweeeeee" and stuff like that. I think on a blog, that's cool. I get the author was just trying to sell a point, just how good or bad something was. but I don't know. It's not something I expect to see in a published book. I'm possibly just being a bit of a snob though but still, lol.

Another section that made me giggle was one that taught you how to analyze if a person is good in bed by paying attention to how they touch you, how they eat and drink, and things like that. Personally, I'm a very polite eater. I do really enjoy my food because hey, I love food but I don't delve into it with crazy animalistic abandon. If one were to judge how I am in bed by watching me eat, they would think I was boring/reserved in bed which isn't the slightest bit true.

I'm not a touchy feely person with people, unless I'm close with them or want to jump them. I DO believe we can learn a lot from body language, mannerisms, daily interactions, and from watching people be. Everyone is different and everyone's body language is different. I don't think one standard for that fits everything. Body language and mannerisms are complex, not something so black and white.

I liked the way the book was structured as well. The chapters are separated into sections, and the sections flow together easily. It's a nice layout and the sections just flow together well.

Open it up and flip through the pages and it looks great. The pictures are the only thing about this book that I really loved. The pictures in it (they're on almost every page, and a couple pages had multiple shots) were the most appealing thing about the book in my opinion. The book has fantastic photos in it, and I found myself often distracted by studying them. I would describe them as artistic and softcore.

Something else I found to be disappointing was at the start of the book, in the introduction, the author states that it would be a good book whether you're heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. I don't find that to be a true statement. The book only offers pictures of a male, and a female together.

All the tips and scenarios are her pleasing him or him pleasing her. It doesn't offer anything specifically geared to anyone who isn't straight and doesn't cover anything about being the slightest bit curious about your own gender. There's nothing that covers anything other than heterosexuality. I suppose you could just take the tips and apply it to what fits for you, based on you and your partner. I just expected that given that part of the introduction that the book might touch on something other than heterosexuality.

The book did have some decent information in it regarding male and female anatomy. It also highlighted information about what's going on with your body during sex, and explains what's going on in a more technical sense that's still easy to comprehend. It also covers some psychological points from male and female perspectives. Though some of the points seem like general assumptions more than anything, and a lot of it is again basic knowledge and a LOT of common sense.

There is also a section on sex toys and using them with a partner. I was initially excited to see the section in the table of contents then when I got to that point, I was disappointed because almost nothing was covered. It's very short and doesn't cover much at all. It would have been better had more information been provided about toys, sanitation practices and safety concerns.

I had to really push myself to finish reading several of the sections and more, so I had to stop myself from just skimming the sections instead of actually reading them. I find a lot of things in the book to be black and white and in my opinion, there are a lot of gray areas to sex, intimacy, relationships, etc.

It is informative and there is a ton of information in it but the information is generally just basic stuff or outright common sense stuff. The book details a lot of things and covers a wide variety of topics including teasing, masturbation, oral sex, insecurities with your body, getting kinky and several others. Though it doesn't get too in depth with a lot of subjects, as it just covers the basics and gives you a good idea of what you need to know. Other sections are very in depth. Despite the wide variety of subjects, I still find the book overall to be a little one sided as it seems the author is offering up the only options on things.

I didn't learn anything new from it's 180+ pages though but I've read, explored and experienced a LOT. For someone younger or new to exploring things it would MAYBE be a great read. A beginner how to book with lots of artful and stunning pictures. It reads a lot, in my opinion, like a huge compilation of sex and how-to articles out of Cosmopolitan magazine. Just with more details and erotic pictures. I definitely won' be reading it again.