Bubble head squirmy - traditional vibrator by Doc Johnson - review by Vivi

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Bubble head squirmy

Traditional vibrator by

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Could have been better

I just wasn't really impressed. I was hoping for something that I could feel hitting my g-spot and would feel amazing, instead it felt like gouging myself with a mini-mace.
Published:
Pros:
Good teaser toy, but not strong in vibration, waterproof.
Cons:
Not really strong in vibration, small radius in circulation, not very fun.
Rating by reviewer:
2
useful review
Okay, Look Squirmy. You lied to me. You promised me you would twist and turn in ways that would make me writhe in pleasure, but instead, left me feeling like my vagina might be inadequate. I thought we would be friends forever, that your vibrations would send me screaming through one orgasm after another, but alas, no, I found you mediocre, Sub-par at best. Know, I was hoping we would join as one in the kind of ecstasy one can only experience as a toy, but your settings were lacking, having no real distinction between them, and though when your bubbled head teased my clit, I found it quite pleasurable, I never found your minute revelations to be disgustingly pitiful. I have had rotating toys before, and they have been vastly superior to your ministrations. Please, please do not trouble yourself trying to explain, there is no time I would ever insert you again, but I would allow you to tease me, bringing along your brother or my boyfriend to really sate my needs.

Do not bother to contact me again, toy, for you have disappointed me beyond words. Please, do not be upset - we were not made for each other, not as others are, and perhaps someone with a less experienced view would enjoy your gentle prodding, but I, I need more from a toy. Something that provides me a new emotion, a new experience, you are too classical, too weak to overpower my senses, much less me.

I know, I know, you did your best, but your "textured" head was too firm, too prickly, and I found it felt so much more like loving a cactus than a raspberry. Perhaps we didn't communicate correctly, I wanted love, not lashes. So what can I say, darling? We will never be what we need from each other. I offer this opinion, hoping another finds you, hoping another loves you, for I never shall. Please, poor toy, move on to others and find joy.
Follow-up commentary
Darling, we're still not seeing eye to eye, even on days where I expect you may shine. Why? Why do you continue to haunt me. I feel as if I've failed you. Time and again I've reached into my toy box, my fingers have found you, and in mild curiosity, I've given you time. Time you have wasted.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
    Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady  
    Great way to make your point! Nicely written.

  • Nashville
    Nashville  
    As it's jelly don't forget the condoms!
  • lamira
    lamira  
    Thanks for the review!!
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