DreamWolf's Ultimate Disappointment

I almost cried when I was using it and after that too! So many people rave how powerful it is, and it ISN'T!!! It's weak, it's buzzy, the thrusting gets stuck each time you squeeze a little, it is jelly, and it is extremely uncomfortable to try to manage to enjoy it somehow!

Probably a total waste of all the money I spent on it, and I still believe in it, but it ruins my cheers each time I think of this piece of junk!!!
Published:
Pros:
If you can manage the angle and your muscles right it'll be ok, Other than that nothing at all
Cons:
Everything: Material, Weak, Buzzy, Buttons, Noise, Motor gets stuck when you squeeze a little
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

I must say that whatever is in your mind about this vibe just forget it, because my personal experience with it may not be much different from what others will see when they try this toy after craving for its pretty and delicious redness, and the sensations it claims to offer.

You just look at it and say "oh holy cows chased by Shri Krishna, I have never seen such an amazing vibe...!" (Or whatever you like to sigh with your belief - I just like the picture of the holy cows running around in those heavenly fields.) You can't take your eyes off of it and you so badly want to try how a thrusting vibrator feels like!

To add some more atmosphere to my disappointed description I would mention that this had been the most expensive toy I ever bought before moving on in the price range of what I am willing to pay for a pleasure item. Was planning for months and months what would be best for my birthday, and didn't know about the EdenPoints program, so I took it very serious to make a list good enough that I wouldn't feel any remorse spending $150 on toys only, more than ever in that year...

I found a very good deal online, and got it for $70, and squeezed in some other toys for myself and for my Master because He has His birthday only 4 days before me. I was never so excited about any purchases in my whole life like about receiving Jenna's Ultimate Stroker soon, and didn't mind my decision until I got to try it...

If you look up the only video available about it where you can see it close enough in action you'll see that the shaft goes up and down, the one row of pearls twirl wildly to add more to your pleasure, and the head rotates in a billion ways of your choice! The enchanting butterfly sounds to vroom the soul out of your flesh, so what in the world could go wrong with it?

I was growling about the jelly, growling that I could hardly cover it safe with a condom too, but oh my it looked like the very best of the thrusters among all of what I did a deep and complete research about!

To let you know more about my experiences I am going to get into every single detail in the rest of this review...
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • On a bed only
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

Jenna's Ultimate Stroker is made of jelly, oh yuck! I wouldn't mind it at all if jelly wasn't known to be an extremely porous material with other chemical risks to put your delicate balance of health into dangers of a thousand kinds! If you check the main product description out you surely won't see anything to calm you down, as it may be rampant with phthalates, and God knows what else you would have to worry about when it comes to using this toy!

It isn't only full of texture being a true pain to clean, it also attracts every horrible thing to stick to your toy to stain it! We have a tiny babydog shedding his hair all over the place, so pet owners could hardly avoid the annoying strands and fuzzes constantly ganging up with this sticky and yucky toy! (I can't even call it a vibe, and you will see why...)

The only real texture what has a role in the sensations is the large, wobbly soft ridges under the head. I am not sure if they add anything to the sensations because of their extreme softness, so I won't mention them related to it in the functions section.

The whole toy has a slight chemical smell you can feel only when you take a very close sniff, though I don't remember if it was stronger when I tried it for the first time. Trying hard now, as I recall it smelled repulsive, so I should say it has a strong odor. There is a weak similar taste too what you can test, I wouldn't want to be licking a jelly toy though...

It is compatible with water- and silicone-based lubricants and water based toy cleaners, and water and VERY mild soap can be used as well to clean it somehow. It is NOT waterproof, in case you assumed otherwise.
    • Porous
    • Sticky
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

Jenna's Ultimate Stroker is a GIANT toy. The total length is described to be 10 3/4 inches, which can be different depending on what position the shaft is in when you stop it. I have just measured it accurately, the longest length is 11 1/4 inches! (You can still lay it back into its package, if you don't want to waste your precious storage space to keep it like your other, WAY BETTER toys.) The insertable length is 5 1/2 inches by the description, but I have measured it too now, coming out to be 5 3/4 inches if you took it in as much as possible. The diameter is slightly larger than you average toy size, 1 5/8 inches. If I was a beginner at toys it would be a perfect size for me, as I started off with the casual 1 1/2 inches diameter, but I would rather say that girth lovers and advanced users will more likely find it attractive enough.

I must tell that I admire the design and it still makes me excited to look at it, wishing it wasn't such an awful and horrible toy! The butterfly is highly detailed in every single spot, you can see its beautiful veins on the wings, top and bottom, its eyes, even the ridged belly. Next to it lower on the shaft beautiful, slim grass strands and leaves decorate this amazing beauty, and the head has almost perfectly life-like details to imitate a male flesh so tempting to taste and savor! Right under the alluring ridges of the head five tiny bumps add more to the look of this toy being a pleasure for the eyes!
You could say that folks at Doc Johnson wanted to create a real piece of art, with all the texture for the lovers of fantasies taking you to fairy paradise! Unique functions, multiple combinations of functions, soft and comfortable, and who would mind a jelly toy? Me for example, ehem ehem... Lovely and respectable intentions, and they ALL failed for me! (Except that I LOVE looking at this toy!)

As a giant and sticky toy you will probably have to find a better way to store it than a pouch with tiny fuzzes and a small place in your drawer. So you better have your fine ways to deal with large pleasure items and extreme tackiness. I wouldn't take it anywhere either because of its size (and first of all because of how unbelievably disappointing and useless it is!), but if you can squeeze it in somewhere then go for it...
    • Partner play
    • Realistic
    • Whimsical / artistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

This toy has a lot of functions for your personalized pleasure. The buzzing butterfly vibrates, the pearls under the head twirl around, and the shaft thrusts and in a very, very, VERY slight way rotates. All three functions have eight speeds and three patterns.

At the bottom controller plastic part you will find out how hard it is to open the battery case, and as it isn't an easy-load option to slide the case out you will have to fight with the springs and batteries to fit in somehow. Closing the case again is as much of a pain.

Seven buttons control your toy under the red flashing lights keeping you up-to-date about which functions you are using. Four arrows are to turn the functions on and increase and decrease the speed, and three rounded buttons let you choose which function you want to enjoy.
The left row of arrows is for the vibrations of the clitoral butterfly, and the right arrows are for the thrusting actions and the gyrating pearls. The upper arrows turn the functions on and increase the speed, the lower arrows are to decrease it and to turn the functions off.

The three functions are the following:

F1:

constant vibration
constant up and down thrusting with constant gyration going in one direction

F2:

the rotation goes up then down a little bit (the higher the speed is the farther it turns back the other way), stops for a moment, goes down (doesn't go back up a little bit), stops for a moment (I have even seen the opposite way, and no turning back at all too, and that the shaft just went up and down, break, up and down, break!), the pearls go one way, stop with the rotation, then the other way, and stop with it again
some very interesting vibrations in the butterfly bullet going in rhythm with the other shaft, it literally feels like first it radiates the vibrations out, then sucks them in, and I still can't figure out how it really works, have never even heard about such a strange and amazing thing!

F3:

vibrations same like F2 just shorter and faster, and no breaks
thrusting and gyration like the vibrations (and the direction of thrusting never turns back)

Whew, it has taken a long time to test them all now and see everything in the most accurate way, and it still feels like sometimes the motion of the shaft just isn't the same with the very same speed and pattern like minutes before! I found that extremely annoying when I tested it for hours and hours, not being sure if it had more functions I was too dumb to figure out and that's why sometimes things seemed to move different, or if that was only a flaw in manufacturing! Or if I was just hallucinating or too tired and sleepy to be able to pay full attention... (First option is out of the question, but I was still wondering what the heck...)

Probably you already assume that when a pattern is used for one function the other has to go along with it. So when you are using constant vibrations you can't use rhythmic thrusting. That made it be an even bigger pain in the ass and my other body parts to find a good enough combination to enjoy it somehow and come to put it away finally.

You also have to know that a slight brush near the buttons will hit them! It still keeps on happening with me that I want to push one of them and a nearby button is hit too, so you have to be very careful with handling the controlling of this toy!

And here are my experiences to give a full picture for you about the ignominious flaws which made me curse this toy into the 80th bunch of holes of the darkest tormenting hells, oh the gods damn all of its features!

As I was struggling to get what a toy intends to generate in a female body, the final pleasure was far away because of the aching sensations the thrusting caused. When I used my very first rabbit vibe it took a few uses to get used to the rotation, so maybe I shouldn't growl at this toy so much. But I found it rather uncomfortable than pleasing, and of course I love thrusting, that's what I got this toy for! So maybe it was only my frustration what resulted in such a discomfort, but however I tried to move around to find the best position it was never good enough to help the hateful feeling...

You know what, that's the least of problem among the others coming in my list!

I would be more than happy to start to train myself to learn to enjoy the thrusting sensation, IF IT WAS THRUSTING RIGHT! Because each time I arched my inner muscles in the pleasure I was trying to grasp so hard the thrusting got weaker and even more often it just stopped! I have heard before trying it that some thrusters stop if you squeeze hard enough (and who wouldn't do so in pleasure), but when I was trying to take it easy it got just stuck in my flesh, and the whole toy was moving back and forth between my thighs! So I had to hold it strong enough with my hands, starting to ache as this long toy is very uncomfortable when you have to handle it all by yourself! So you can imagine how hard it was to focus on the little pleasure I could sometimes get out of it.

And if you hope that the wonderfully made butterfly will be your savior then I have to hit you with the biggest disappointment ever! Because not only the vibrations are EXTREMELY WEAK AND BUZZY, but the jelly head of this wingy creature swallows away that little bit of buzz it can produce on the highest speed!
It was the greatest frustration of the painful and struggling experience, and I kept on trying to bury it into my clit to feel at least a little more! After hours and hours of swapping it often with my mind-blowingly powerful rabbit vibe to maintain my pleasure somehow I finally figured out that the head can be pushed aside if I hold it strong enough on the side with a hand! Hours of trouble was solved when I gained all my attention to come with this toy, and I was happy as hell that I was able to put it away, proving to myself that it wasn't a total shameful waste of all the money spent on it!

I haven't mentioned one more important part... IT IS LOUD! OH MY GOD HOW LOUD!!! My Master was in bed sleeping away already, and I was freaking out that I would wake Him up from the other far end of the room! If you shut a door or two it would be manageable though. But avoid unwanted company if you want to enjoy this toy, if you can enjoy it somehow...

And as it belongs here too to make a note on that part, Jenna's Ultimate Stroker is NOT waterproof!
    • Multiple settings
    • Not discreet at all
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

Jenna's Ultimate (Totally Useless) Stroker is a jelly toy handling water- and silicone based lubricants and water-based toy cleaners or water and mild soap like I said. If you don't just want to dump it into the nearest possible place then you will have to pay the greatest attention to get through the royal pain in the ass when it comes to cleaning and fighting with the ridges and other artistically hateful texture.

I just keep it in its original package in a small bedroom closet, and until now I hadn't taken it out ever since my birthday months and months ago. You can find any other ways you wish to store it right, it has to be loft and cool, dry enough. You also have to know that jelly toys are the first in the ranking of toys melting upon others. You CAN'T keep it near any other pleasure items, as it can have reactions if it touches any other materials!
    • Difficult to store
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance

Packaging

The giant package of this giant toy has almost all the qualities most of us don't like to see on a box. A blond woman (I guess Jenna) seen posing with a black bikini top to cover her bosom in the front of this half-transparent plastic box, on the back posing in a different way with her nether regions wearing the bottom of the swimming clothing. All the info you want to know about the toy spreads all over the package, and on the back there is a minimally stylized picture to show it in the visual way as well. Large crowns pop up everywhere, and without reading the texts you already know that you don't want anyone to see your just arrived item. Inside your toy is resting, in a transparent plastic cradle to show off what you were drooling over for such a long time to try.

For me it is a good enough storage option, but I wouldn't just walk to the person and push her gift into her hands in front of others. If you think that someone has such a strange taste to want it then you can gift her with this thing, but don't forget to tell her that sometimes the nice look is hiding less pleasant surprises.
    • Not discreet
    • Very informative

Personal comments

Just to cheer you up a little bit I would like to mention a few things here.

I have read about similar toys that you can solve the problem of the too weak thrusting motor if you keep a few little tips in mind. If you set your mood to enjoy it as a teaser toy only then you can try to keep your muscles relaxed, so the squeezing won't stop the thrusting action or get it stuck or weaker. Use a partner who can hold it for you if possible. If you don't have anyone to share such activities with then fix the toy to stay put somewhere, lay down, and with the right angle you will give a better way to the shaft.

If you are a very-very sensitive lady with a tough inner flesh then it will give you more pleasure than for others. Also, practice and training can help you get used to the strange and uncomfortable sensation after a while. If you are "blessed" with a much more demanding hunger for power then you can just use any other favorite clitoral vibe of yours to solve the problem of the ridiculously weak buzziness.

Other than these I can't help you. It is a jelly vibe. Use it if you like it but I would rather wait until a safer version is made with powerful enough and better motors. That's my humble thought about it.

Experience

There was one more thing I was experimenting with when I was testing this toy with my other brand new and way better toys. After enjoying the Inflatable Penis three times in a row I started to check out the bumpy Sweetie sleeve with a micro bullet under it to see if I could add vibrations to the only rotating shaft of my only and very best rabbit vibe. Though I had to dedicate full focus to feel a hint of vibration of the raved-about Jesse's Petite Treats bullet, I decided to try it on this toy too. As it wasn't too stretchy it covered only the head and not the ridges, so it gave free way to the shaft to do its thing. I assume if you are a really sensitive lady you can take the same try with the Sweetie sleeve, but I warn you that I am crazy for rough texture and a little more girth but even I found it very painful after a while! (It was with my favorite rabbit vibe though what I enjoyed after that for the rest of the Night for about 5 times or so, having to take the sleeve off after a while... But you could experiment with other sleeves too, open and closed ended alike.)

I mostly used my other rabbit vibe to maintain my arousal because after a minute or two I always lost my enthusiasm and pleasure each time I took Jenna's Ultimate Stroker again. The huge difference of power was even more annoying, because I need very powerful vrooms and this toy is way far from anything called vrooms. I literally had to force myself to try to enjoy it fully, doing the whole thing only to manage to use it for its intended purpose. It was more struggling than fun, and I wanted to take it out of its box again a lot to train myself to get used to it a little more, but I always ended up with the frustrating memories and just forgot the idea.

I still intend to make myself get used to this vibe, was thinking a lot about getting a hopefully better one but just gave up on the idea, and I plan to learn how to deal with it anyway. I want a thrusting toy, I have one now, so am gonna learn it gods dammit! Unless the jelly material keeps me as refusing as I have been since I know about its dangers...
Follow-up commentary
Sometimes I bump into it when I rearrange my ever growing collection of pleasure toys, and the more I see and touch it, the more it weirds me out! It's wobbly, sticky jelly, and I keep on believing that it is melting, because there is always some gooey feeling left on my fingers!

I can't stand it, definitely, and I still say, just avoid it for your own good!
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
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