Ultima II deep desire - traditional vibrator by Doc Johnson - review by Mari

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Oh So Shiny... & Oh So Loud

A pretty bland toy. It doesn't really stand out on its own, but if you're looking for a simple, powerful vibe, this is a great first time investment. Beware, all ye with roommates-- this sucker, while powerful, is equally loud. For experimenting to find out what size of toy you prefer or how strong you want your vroom, you can't go wrong here! It's a simple, cheap way to add variety to your toy collection and figure out your preferences.
Published:
Pros:
Good size
Inexpensive
Good starter vibe
Cons:
LOUD
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

First off people, notice what kind of batteries this uses. Notice it, notice it... DAMMIT, LOOK AT WHAT KIND OF BATTERIES THIS NEEDS!!!

And now that I'm certain that you've looked (you didn't really, did you? Well, I'm about to tell you lazy butts), you've seen that this baby uses C batteries. That really threw me off when I first got it. I was just so excited to try this sucker out, and I open up the battery case aaaaaand... I can't use the huge stash of AA batteries that I have. I have to go BUY batteries just for this. That certainly put a damper on my enthusiasm. In fact, I'm so pathetically lazy that it took me 2 weeks to actually get some batteries (I live in the dorms; I NEVER go to the store!) Now that the battery conundrum is out of the way, on to the actual review.

Anyway, this is a good vibe. It isn't too good if you have, say, roommates. It's rather loud and it buzzes. If you're just holding it on your open palm, it starts to buzz; mine did. Luckily, grabbing it and holding it tightly stopped the buzzing, but Ultima is still pretty noisy. However, it has the vroom to match the noise level, so if you live alone this baby is great for you.

For a basic go-to vibe, you can't really go wrong here. This is a nice, simple vibe- it allows you to try something different (different size, more powerful, etc.) without breaking the bank. This is a good thing for a college kid who is, well, broke. It's even made of safe materials! In my book, cheap and safe is the best combo out there.

My boyfriend just reminded me (he's on Skype and helping me with this), we used the Ultima II for his back. More on that under "Experience".
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Vagina
    • Vaginal

Material / Texture

This baby is made with plastic. It's completely smooth, and, thankfully, Phthalates free, no worries on that front.
    • Rigid
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

This is a nice, simple toy-- a straight, sleek shape, and shiny too! It's a little large, both in diameter and length, for beginning players, but most people should be fine with him. Easy to work, with just a twist nob on the bottom.
Not exactly a discreet toy, but fairly easy to hide if you use your sock drawer. However, if you try going through airport security, you can be sure that somebody is going to wonder what that long bullet shape in your bag is.
    • Beginner

Functions / Performance / Controls

It's easy enough to work (assuming you get the right batteries!)-- insert said batteries, screw on the top, then turn by twisting the knob on the bottom.

If you crank this thing to max, it has pretty good power, but it will start to do an annoying little buzzing sound. OK, not little. Actually, it's very loud. However, this was done holding the toy in the flat of my hand; when I clamped down on the thing in fear that my roommate would hear (and wonder what was going on), the buzz stopped. Which was a relief.
    • Easy to use
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

Well, as I've mentioned already, this babys made of plastic. Meaning that it is porous, so you'd better wash it when you're done! Or, if you want, just use a condom with it.

Packaging

Yet again, this toy came in a package with a very prominent naked woman. Because I just LOVE seeing a naked porn star on every side of the bright, colorful box my vibrator comes in. And, naturally, when I opened the package, my roommate was in. Needless to say, the presentation of the toy is... lacking in discretion.
    • Not discreet

Experience

Since I, personally, am not a huge fan of perfectly smooth toys (I can't seem to feel them very well), I haven't used "Alfred", as I named him, very much. When I explained to my boyfriend that it was a strong vibe, he suggested we use it as a massager. Because, technically, that IS what vibes are supposed to be. Read the outside of ANY package-- they all say "sold for novelty use only". And the best way to advertise a vibe in a store is to call it a massager (or a discreet massager). So we tried it out on his very sore back.

Much to my amusement, it worked out as a back massager quite well. It relaxed his back muscles very nicely. So if you decide this isn't a very good sex toy, it can always work as a nice, plain back massager. It's certainly powerful enough.
Follow-up commentary
I'm still a bit fond of this vibe, even if I don't use it very much. Like I've said in my review, as a first-time vibe when trying out a new/different size and vroom, you CAN'T go wrong with this baby. It's pretty cheap (but good quality, even if it's simple), allows one to add diversity to the toy collection, and lets you try something new (again, without breaking the bank). I don't really use "Alfred" (as I named mine) much, but it's comforting to know that he's in my collection in case I'm in the mood for something different.

It's still a loud vibe, but equally powerful. So even if you don't use him sexually, the Ultima II will still function well as a back massager.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • wetone123 wetone123
  • Rank:
     
    6.4
  • Edited reviews: 212
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Comments
  • Antipova
    Antipova  
    Wow---C batteries for a traditional vibe really seems like overkill! Still, I bet this sucker's strong.

    Great job with your followup review too, I really appreciate it when people put thought into them. Lovely review!
  • Mari
    Mari  
    Glad to help! I've seen other reviews that did wonders for me, decision wise, so I decided that I wanted to help out other people with decision making.
  • ColorMeCute
    ColorMeCute  
    Thank you
  • lzee
    lzee  
    Good review
  • GONE!
    GONE!  
    Great review!
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