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This dick falls a little short

If you're looking for an entertaining twist on your typical bullet vibe, this is your dick. But don't expect too much out of his performance, he's all show. For the most part, this vibe cums like any other in it's price range. His only claims to fame are a novel shape and a longer than usual cord between controller and vibe. But remember, it's not about size, but rather what you do with it.
Published:
Pros:
Length of cord, Variation in vibration, Entertaining shape
Cons:
No batteries included, Noisy, Turns off too easily
Rating by reviewer:
2
somewhat useful review
Don't get too excited about this toy just yet, you have to find batteries. Yup, that's right, all the foreplay of opening the package, and it doesn't even come with the AAs needed to get it turned on.

Once you deal with this dick's power insecurities, things start looking a little better. The vibe is strong enough to be entertaining, but not overwhelming. It's noisy, but no more so than other vibes at the same cost. The bullet seems of solid construction (I might even daresay hard); the controller is a little questionable, but not overly so. I just wouldn't recommend it ever being underfoot during a romantic romp. And if you're looking for length over girth, this toy is definitely your man. He can boast over 3 feet of cord.

When taken for a test drive, this dick was "hear occasional bumping against the wall", but certainly not "hear screaming through the wall". The description's suggestion of using the bottom of the dick's head to cradle one's clit was about as successful as if one tried to do so with a penis more to scale - it simply wouldn't fit right. It was awkward to get everything lined up (am I in?), and very quickly shifted anyway. The dick shape is novel, but not terribly functional.

The controller fared better than most in it's price range. The connection between the controller and the cord was surprisingly sturdy. It provided for a variety of levels of sensations, with smooth transitions. Be careful though, it is all too easy to accidentally turn it off when endeavoring to lower the vibration. As with all premature ejaculation, patience and practice make it easier to control.

I find the juxtaposition of the penis bullet with the curvy controller quite ironic. But with a dick at the end of a cord, some gender play is to be expected, if not encouraged.Winking
Follow-up commentary
While this toy's shape has been the brunt of many size jokes, it's still not a favorite. To be honest, I can't remember the last time I used it. I'll let you know if I come up with anything creative for it.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Jimbo Jones
    Jimbo Jones  
    The only vibes I have ever had come with batteries are the ones that need watch batteries to operate, your experience must be different, however. So, the shape of the bullet, while unique, does not improve its performance in any way? Thanks for the review.
  • Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
    Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady  
    How many speeds can you detect?
  • Fishie Princess
    Fishie Princess  
    There were about 3 speeds, but the dial allows it to move smoothly between the 3, providing an infinite number of speeds between them. It's the first dial toy I've had that provides such smooth transitions between speeds.

    In regards to the shape, I didn't find the shape to affect the performance at all. It worked very similarly to any other bullet of it's size. However, everybody's body is shaped different and responds differently, so I certainly wouldn't say that my experience with the shape is the be-all-end-all.
  • Fishie Princess
    Fishie Princess  
    As promised, I'm writing to let you know of a creative use for this toy!

    My partner and I recently discovered "muffing": penetration of the inguinal canals (an excellent article on the subject can be found in the Fucking Trans Women zine [http://www.fuckingtranswomen.com]). We've only just started playing around in this area, but have found that Lanny fits nicely in her inguinal canals and she reports that the vibrations are fantastic.

    Please note, like all body parts, inguinal canals vary in size and elasticity and Lanny may not work with your body.
  • sixfootsex
    sixfootsex  
    Thanks for the review! Too cheap to be worth it.
  • angel142stx
    angel142stx  
    good review
  • N&M
    N&M  
    thanks, I'll cross this one off
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