Vibrating silicone neon probe - traditional vibrator discontinued by Topco Sales - review by Sex Hippie

Frankly, when I found out I was reviewing a "vibrating silicone neon probe" I thought, "Well that's descriptive, but not very sexy." Even the foxy lady on the cover teasing me with her own "vibrating neon silicone probe" couldn't do the cheesy packaging justice. However, they say you should never judge a book by its cover, and when I opened my package, I knew it was definitely true.

As with most silicone toys, the "probe" has a flexible yet firm surface. But even more to my delight, there was a litany of information about the manufacturing of the toy and the story of the "beate uhse" company inside; I'll admit it, I'm a total nerd. According to the packaging, "no other manufacture's toys are as hygienically clean and resistant to bacteria;” a definite plus in toy shopping for me. It reminds readers that silicone provides a frictionless glide, which warms along with our body temperature, and that it can withstand high temperatures (from boiling water, dishwashers, and even microwaves!). [Editor’s note: It is not recommended to put sex toys in the microwave, even the highest quality silicone toys.] Of course, it also warns us to never use silicone-based lubricant with our silicone toys, and I'm not sure I'll need to. With its super-slick surface and streamlined design, I'd be more afraid of this one flying across the room than drying me up. Inside the information pamphlet is a heartwarming story (translated into six languages!) about the founder "Beate Uhse," an escapee of Nazi Germany who fought for the greater good of sexual freedom. Go Beate!

When I first went to test-drive my new "probe" (no pun intended) I couldn't help but notice all the dust and hair it had collected. I'm the first to admit my apartment isn't as spick and span as it could be, but this was a little much. After I first rinsed the probe off, I grabbed the nearest clean towel to ensure less dust bunnies and cat hairs would find their way into my very personal space. Yet, even my towel possessed some loose fibers I wasn't aware of, and I had to make do with that.

I noticed that the toy lubed up nicely, as most simple toys do, but had a little trouble with the vibration end of things. The "probe" has a vibrating bullet inserted into the blunt end of the shaft (batteries included!) which is removable for easy sterilization, but getting it to vibrate when the time is right is another story. I’m not sure if I just got an ineffective bullet (if you already have one, I'd recommend using that) but the vibration was frustrating and inconsistent. If you've ever had a toy fail on you mid-session, I'm sure you'll understand. Also, the positioning of the bullet makes strong vibrations at the shaft, which is great for penetration, but not so great for clit stimulation. Overall I like the manufacturer and the quality of the material, although I'd have to say this probably isn't their best product.