I just wrote a post about the overuse of toys among those unfamiliar with BDSM. (I'm new here and apologize if I'm not supposed to link to an outside blog - you don't have to read it, it just gives context for what I'm about to ask.)
I've been continually frustrated by partners who just don't understand what BDSM means and instead resort to fancy toys to make up for what they lack in mindset. I try to be patient about it, because I understand it's unfamiliar territory for them, but it eventually it makes me wonder if some people are just inherently kinky and some aren't.
I ask because I've had kinky thoughts since I was very young and I can't imagine suddenly "learning" those fantasies by the time you're in your 20s. Can anyone else speak to this personally, or share your experiences/tips about helping familiarize an interested partner with the lifestyle? Is it worth it to even try?
I've been continually frustrated by partners who just don't understand what BDSM means and instead resort to fancy toys to make up for what they lack in mindset. I try to be patient about it, because I understand it's unfamiliar territory for them, but it eventually it makes me wonder if some people are just inherently kinky and some aren't.
I ask because I've had kinky thoughts since I was very young and I can't imagine suddenly "learning" those fantasies by the time you're in your 20s. Can anyone else speak to this personally, or share your experiences/tips about helping familiarize an interested partner with the lifestyle? Is it worth it to even try?