Does anyone else have a problem with 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?

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Does anyone else have a problem with 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?

Aesenthia Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling and should not represent what BDSM is. What do y'all think about it? Please comment.
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Total votes: 99 (78 voters)
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09/29/2014
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OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
We've not read it, but both wondered about it. Hoping to see the movie though. There was an interview last month or so with the female star on National TV. She said she would not recommend her mother, Melanie Griffth to watch some of the scenes. After hearing that, we def makes us want to see the movie. Here's a link to the trailer:

link
09/29/2014
charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
Aside from any of the BDSM portrayal in the book, it was poorly written and hard to get through.
09/29/2014
Aesenthia Aesenthia
Quote:
Originally posted by charmedtomeetyou
Aside from any of the BDSM portrayal in the book, it was poorly written and hard to get through.
That's what I thought! I happened to see someone review the book on Amazon and they spoke about how much repetition there is in the book.

Here's an example of the review: "According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian's lips "quirk up" 16 times, Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times, characters "purse" their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times."

That alone is enough to make reading the thing tedious.
09/29/2014
charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
That's what I thought! I happened to see someone review the book on Amazon and they spoke about how much repetition there is in the book.

Here's an example of the review: "According to my Kindle search function, characters roll ...
Her inner reflections made me nuts...always the same reactions to things. And yes, everyone seemed to really like having the same bunch of reactions to things all the time. Ugh.
09/29/2014
LoveReImagined LoveReImagined
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ...
I absolutely LOVED the trilogy. I know plenty of people who don't know. And yeah..I get it, it's a poor representation of the BDSM community. But I don't think the author was trying to make a good representation of it either.
To me..these books are just another romance novel but kinkier. There is a lot of repetition but I'm okay with it. I enjoyed the stupid way Ana thinks things through and I was amused by the unrealistic Christian. It was simple reading with too much thinking and not enough fucking..but I still loved the books and I'm excited for the movie.

All the above comments are coming directly from a Twilight fan who faced horrible disappointment when every single movie was released. I know what I'm saying and know that I'm probably setting myself up for even more disappointment. I can live with it though haha!
09/29/2014
BasicDude BasicDude
I loathed them, just as I loathed the Twilight series (which makes sense, since 50SOG was Twilight fanfiction with the names changed--literally). Terrible representation of BDSM and terribly written.
"Oh, those are your hard limits? Let me completely ignore them."
I want to dropkick Christian Grey off a bridge. He's a terrible human being.
10/01/2014
chipperchippie chipperchippie
I feel like I went into the whole thing with an already biased negative mindset and reading them just reinforced the whole mental idea. Not only is the first book (I couldn't get beyond the first one) very poorly written, but there is just nothing terribly interesting or overly erotic about it.

I completely agree with the person who said the protagonist's inner reflections drove them nuts. Drove me up a wall. The repetition and use of the phrase "inner goddess" was more hilarious and ridiculous than anything.

I think it's book (and possibly trilogy) for middle-aged women who have never done much of anything kinky in the bedroom to get a bit of a thrill. Though how they're managing that is beyond me, but I've been in the BDSM world for several years now.

I think this is a good piece to read in regard to the whole series - link
10/03/2014
hall5885 hall5885
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ...
I tried to read it, I really did. But I honestly couldn't get past her writing and it just seemed boring to me.
10/28/2014
Geography Geography
I really disliked the first book so I couldn't even read the second. Ana was such a boring character and Christian completely ignored everything she said. At one point she tried to get away from him because she was confused about the BDSM and whether she was actually interested in participating and he followed her out of town. It was not a great BDSM relationship considering he didn't listen to anything she said.
11/03/2014
M. Roth M. Roth
Funny story about this novel...

I liveblogged my attempt to read the first novel. I got up to the part where he shows her his room of toys, and I had to give up because if I kept reading... I might have lost my lunch. The writing is so poor, and the characters are entirely dull. I realized I still, to this day, know more about her roommate than I do about her.

At least the liveblogging it was hilarious, though. I'm almost tempted to try it again for the fanbase I built for my reactions.... Almost.
11/05/2014
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ...
I have not read the books. I may see the movie. I know a lot of woman and a few men I work with and am friends with have read the books and seemed to get a lot of "entertainment" out of them. I am not sure if that translated into bedroom play for them? What surprised me was the mainstream instant acceptance and high giggle factor talking about it on network morning TV shows and mostly by woman who seemed to "love it". Even more surprising were major hotel chains offering "Shades of Grey" get away packages...etc. We honestly are not into BDSM and neither me or my husband really has a lot of interest in it, but it sure seemed a LOT of other "vanilla" folks out there have a hidden fascination for the subject! If you are into this, and are calling this out as a poor portrayal of what BDSM is, than please educate some of us. How do you define BDSM outside of what that series is portraying, since I do plan to see the movie??? I thought "controlling" was a big part of that activity??? I'm confused.
11/06/2014
h3artsav3r h3artsav3r
I haven't read it yet. Still debating on whether I want to lol
11/18/2014
ToriMae ToriMae
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ...
I think there is nothing wrong with fantasy, but it does paint an inaccurate picture of what BDSM truly is. But for entertainment, I like that it pushes boundaries. Just not necessarily the most realistic representation.
12/08/2014
benjiwithaz benjiwithaz
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ...
Although I have not extensively read Fifty Shades of Grey the impression I get is that it is not only giving people a harmful idea about BDSM but it romanticizes abusive relationships. Ick.
12/21/2014
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Aesenthia
I read the books at the request of a friend and though there was a part or two I enjoyed, I mostly found the book over rated. I feel like people who read the series come away with a very skewed view on BDSM because Mr. Grey is abusive and controlling ...
It's a deeply flawed book in many ways and terribly offensive. That said, I would cautiously add that the way it's getting people to open up about sex and BDSM is a good thing and may help push our culture towards a more sex-positive outlook, however the influx of terribly misinformed people into the BDSM community and the potential for those people to get hurt/hurt others is troubling.
01/19/2015
Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
It's a deeply flawed book in many ways and terribly offensive. That said, I would cautiously add that the way it's getting people to open up about sex and BDSM is a good thing and may help push our culture towards a more sex-positive outlook, ...
The pendulum swings both ways. Of the subset of new participants into some of the more shallow waters of the BDSM comunity, I think many participants will rush into it and fail to seek the education needed to safely and pleasurably enjoy it. I don't see this working out well for the mainstream audience, but then again, BDSM in any of its flavors isn't for the mainstream.

I don't think BDSM will be elevated to a more acceptable status due to this book series. As mentioned by several others in this thread, this series doesn't paint a "honest" or truthful picture about those who participate in some of the scenes in the book.
01/20/2015
Livia Drew Livia Drew
50 Shades of Grey is offensive to:
1) BDSM culture (or anyone with notions of informed consent)
2) grammarians
3) Freud (E. L. James literally has no idea what an id, ego, or superego are but uses these terms all the time)
4) my "Inner Goddess" *gag*


On the plus side, a lot of people who read 50 Shades and were REALLY vanilla (at least before!) got a little exposure to something outside of their personal norms. A good move for wider spread tolerance of sexual alterity even if James did not represent BDSM well or with a whole lot of acceptance herself.
03/21/2015
RonLee RonLee
I have NOT read it but have heard that it is NOT really Kink Positive. Something about in the end the Christian Grey character is glad to have gotten that stuff "out of his system". As if Kink is a bad thing! WTF! Being kinky is not bad, it is just different.
03/23/2015
symbiasin symbiasin
I have the trilogy and read one book and it was boring.
03/23/2015
Sir Sir
I didn't read it and I honestly don't care to unless it is free to me to do so.
04/29/2015
Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
The pendulum swings both ways. Of the subset of new participants into some of the more shallow waters of the BDSM comunity, I think many participants will rush into it and fail to seek the education needed to safely and pleasurably enjoy it. I ...
I think it's important that they gain more information than the series uses. I have the first book and I saw the movie. I didn't think it did justice to the community either. I think it looks at the most extreme possibilities and takes things way too far. Christian seems to be in need of counseling to overcome issues from his past and is abusive in my opinion. Ana puts up with too much and seems too naive.
04/30/2015
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Lvstoplay
I think it's important that they gain more information than the series uses. I have the first book and I saw the movie. I didn't think it did justice to the community either. I think it looks at the most extreme possibilities and takes ...
If you think that a little flogging and rope are too extreme, then you seriously are not doing our community justice yourself. There is way more out there to enjoy and experience.
05/02/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
I believe there are so many layers to BDSM that would make it very difficult for a person to judge if the book is/isn't too extreme. Although, I'm nowhere close to being an expert. What may be over the top or out of control to one could be extremely pleasurable and possibly even a "tame" play session to another. It comes down to personal preference and consensual agreement.
05/02/2015
Mr. E Mr. E
I have not read the books so I can't personally comment on them. However my wife has read them. She really, really liked them. These books helped her open up and be more willing to explore and test her limits. We are not hardcore BDSM players and do not consider ourselves to be part of the BDSM community...just a married couple, happy to find new ways to play together.
05/02/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. E
I have not read the books so I can't personally comment on them. However my wife has read them. She really, really liked them. These books helped her open up and be more willing to explore and test her limits. We are not hardcore BDSM players ...
And that, friend, is what its all about . Sparking a flavorful interest that may not have been there before . Play on!
05/02/2015
Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
If you think that a little flogging and rope are too extreme, then you seriously are not doing our community justice yourself. There is way more out there to enjoy and experience.
I'm not honestly concerned with what you think of me. Given your responses to some of my other posts/threads I would say you are in need of counseling and are honestly abusive. It's also not solely the acts carried out, but the way in which they are carried out. I'm not getting into a debate with you, should others wish to they may pm me for more info or with any questions they would like answered. You don't even do your research well and yet comment on things as though you know everything. For example yes whips can be made for pleasure and some are honestly sold that way. How do I know? Because I purchased some that actually say "pleasure whip" and that are not designed to cause marks, bruising, broken skin, or serious pain. Thank you and good day.
05/03/2015
Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by Lvstoplay
I think it's important that they gain more information than the series uses. I have the first book and I saw the movie. I didn't think it did justice to the community either. I think it looks at the most extreme possibilities and takes ...
Christian does actually admit in the movie to a few things that lead me to believe he needs counseling. That he has a need to hurt Ana, that she wouldn't want to understand his past, and that he remembers things from his younger childhood that were troubling and not acceptable ways to treat a child.

I haven't read the book yet even though I have it. At some point I will read it, but unless it's better than the movie I will not be getting the second and third books.

Pain can be pleasurable, but I think there's an issue when you need to hurt someone you supposedly love, even when you know they are not enjoying it, and they are in tears or close to it because of both the emotional and physical pain you are willing causing. There's a difference in a good Dom and essentially being physically or emotionally abusive and giving it a different title be it for legal reasons or because it makes you feel better about who you are. There's a point in which control can go too far and trying to implement physical pain on someone can go too far, and I think from what I saw in the movie that Christian likely exceeds this point a few too many times. It's not even simply what he does, but how he does it. The things he says and the way he acts while doing things effect the emotional response of Ana. A good Dom should take care of his girlfriend, not humiliate or seriously hurt her.
05/03/2015
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
I read some excerpts and found the writing too poor to make me want to read the books. From what I know about the series, Christian is not a good representation of any group/community because he is so damaged by his childhood abuse. It does bring the topic of boys/men being abused to the surface and how it affects them throughout their lives and can destroy their adult relationships and those around them. Men are taught to just take the abuse both as children and adults. So many more boys and men are abused than anyone wants to admit. There are no resources for boys or men if they want to get out of abusive homes. Thankfully there are places for women and their children to go, but where can a teenage boy or a man go and who can he turn to. Too many people, even those who are running abuse shelters and support groups, deny there is a problem. I asked a woman who is runs a battered women's shelter what resources were available to abused men or boys. She said there was no need because they were not affected by abuse and did not need any resources. This is a woman who knows about abuse and is denying men and boys are abused and need help. If a boy or young man is brave enough to leave or try to get help, where can he go? I looked and found not one program in my entire state that a male can turn to for help. That is sad and the reason why we have so many men who have lives that are train wrecks.
05/14/2015
unoriginalgirlyid unoriginalgirlyid
I read all of the books out of sheer curiosity and my need to finish things I have started. I believe it is giving people the wrong ideas about BDSM, so I guess I do have a problem with them lol
06/05/2015
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