If you are in a relationship that is evolving to the world of anal play and only one wants to give and the other wants to give and receive, does it cause problems with not being fair for the one who wants both?
Featured by EdenFantasys
FAIRNESS IN THE USE OF STRAP-ONS
03/21/2012
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Perceptive forum discussions on Strap on dildo:
FtoM strap on?
This looks like fun for both to use. Anyone have experience with female using on male? Is it good for prostate strap on play?
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I love when my girlfriend ties me down and dominates me but we haven't given much thought to strap-ons. Are the strapless ones as good as the...
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Is it a work out?
Do you consider having a strap on a work out? Would you rather be the one wearing the strap on or the one riding the strap on?
FtoM strap on?
This looks like fun for both to use. Anyone have experience with female using on male? Is it good for prostate strap on play?
Strap-onless strap-ons
I love when my girlfriend ties me down and dominates me but we haven't given much thought to strap-ons. Are the strapless ones as good as the...
Getting my wife more comfortable being a Dom?
Looking for ways so my wife can be more dom. We do peg from time to time, but I would prefer some more bondage and being more submissive including...
Harness color preferences?
Most harnesses are black, but lately I've been noticing more red/pink/white and even purple...what's your color preference? I tend to like pink and..
Is it a work out?
Do you consider having a strap on a work out? Would you rather be the one wearing the strap on or the one riding the strap on?
03/21/2012
Let me guess - girl likes to receive anal, interested in trying out giving it to her guy, guy doesn't want anything to do with it.
Short answer - it will cause problems if you let it cause problems. He may eventually come around, but anal play can be a big thing for people, so it may never happen or it may take a long time. You have to decide how big of a deal it is for you.
When figuring out your approach, remember that he'll probably find it just as annoying to have you push the issue with him too much as you'd find it annoying if he had a "thing" that you weren't interested in and he kept bugging you about it. You can bring it up every now and then, try to figure out and address his concerns, and maybe make a deal, but it's best not to force it.
Short answer - it will cause problems if you let it cause problems. He may eventually come around, but anal play can be a big thing for people, so it may never happen or it may take a long time. You have to decide how big of a deal it is for you.
When figuring out your approach, remember that he'll probably find it just as annoying to have you push the issue with him too much as you'd find it annoying if he had a "thing" that you weren't interested in and he kept bugging you about it. You can bring it up every now and then, try to figure out and address his concerns, and maybe make a deal, but it's best not to force it.
03/26/2012
Quote:
Nope!!!! Sex isn't about "fair" it's about reciprocity. Nothing is 50-50 in relationships. Think about a regular hetero sexual relationship. How could penis in vagina sex be 50-50? One person is the penetrator and the other the penetrated. Is it "fair?" I don't know. But, as long as both parties are helped to their orgasm by their partner, there is reciprocity.
Originally posted by
hot n spicey
If you are in a relationship that is evolving to the world of anal play and only one wants to give and the other wants to give and receive, does it cause problems with not being fair for the one who wants both?
We play with anal sex and anal play, but I am always the recipient and he is always the penetrator or the Toy Wielder. He doesn't care for anal play on himself, and that's fine. I LOVE it for myself, so he gives me what he loves to do and what I love to receive. We are both happy and satisfied with the results and the way we work it. I actually have no interest in penetrating him, and he doesn't want it. I don't see it as "if you get to 'do it' to me, I get to 'do it' to you." I think people only see it this way if they aren't satisfied or are only going along with something because their partner wants it and they don't.
Communication and understanding that ALL relationships have Power Dynamics at work is the key.
Love may be a two way street, but it is never 50-50.
As long as both are happy and enjoying the sex and having wonderful orgasms that's all that counts.
03/26/2012
If both want to give and both are hesitant about receiving, I think it's fair that both should have to receive at least once, and that if there isn't reciprocity, then neither one has a basis for complaint.
If one wants to receive and the other wants to give, then that's a joint pleasure thing. If the reverse is not true, then you can try and negotiate something else (You take anal and I'll try foot licking). But it's not a fair exchange to swap 'something I'd love to do' for 'something you'd never do otherwise', however much resemblence there is between the activities.
If one wants to receive and the other wants to give, then that's a joint pleasure thing. If the reverse is not true, then you can try and negotiate something else (You take anal and I'll try foot licking). But it's not a fair exchange to swap 'something I'd love to do' for 'something you'd never do otherwise', however much resemblence there is between the activities.
04/01/2012
We first started with anal for only me. We were both good with that. No problems. It has involved into her just starting to try. As long as both are happy there are no problems.
08/10/2012
It's not about "fair", it's about individuals and what they need. If YOU think it's unfair and aren't satisfied, in my humble opinion, it's likely to cause problems if you and your partner can't come to an arrangement that makes you both happy. If you decide that the present arrangement is something you can live with, then let it go. If it's not and you need something to change, talk about it, calmly and rationally, share your view and your feelings about it and try to work toward a solution you can both live with. It all comes down to communication. Analyze how you feel about the current situation and, if it's not acceptable to you, what do you need to have changed and why? Discuss. Good luck!
08/10/2012
Nope, since it's about doing mutually enjoyable things. If you have a lot of options, the lack of one shouldn't be a major problem
08/11/2012
Quote:
That last sentence is absolutely beautifully put.
Originally posted by
Silverdrop
If both want to give and both are hesitant about receiving, I think it's fair that both should have to receive at least once, and that if there isn't reciprocity, then neither one has a basis for complaint.
If one wants to receive and ... more
If one wants to receive and ... more
If both want to give and both are hesitant about receiving, I think it's fair that both should have to receive at least once, and that if there isn't reciprocity, then neither one has a basis for complaint.
If one wants to receive and the other wants to give, then that's a joint pleasure thing. If the reverse is not true, then you can try and negotiate something else (You take anal and I'll try foot licking). But it's not a fair exchange to swap 'something I'd love to do' for 'something you'd never do otherwise', however much resemblence there is between the activities. less
If one wants to receive and the other wants to give, then that's a joint pleasure thing. If the reverse is not true, then you can try and negotiate something else (You take anal and I'll try foot licking). But it's not a fair exchange to swap 'something I'd love to do' for 'something you'd never do otherwise', however much resemblence there is between the activities. less
08/11/2012
When i first started geting pegged by my girlfriend I also wanted to try having sex with her butt. She was not into it and I realized that if she didnt want to try, that was alright. I realize that lifes not fair and I am not going to pressure anyone into doing things that they are not comfortable with. We had talks about it but it never turned into a problem.
08/12/2012
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