Pegging reluctant spouse

Brian Brian
So I was wondering if anybody out there has had a female partner that wasn't into pegging that got into after doing it. I know I've posted similar to this before but what I'm trying to figure here is how many times did she have to do it before she got into it? Thanks.
09/02/2010
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ScottA ScottA
So she's pegged you and she's not into it? If so, that's a start.

How good are you (as a couple) about discussing sexual things afterwards? Not in the sense of "immediately roll over and talk about rating this performance" but more in the sense of being open to discuss things the next day - because that's probably what you're going to need to do.

There's going to be both a physical and psychological side. The physical side is (relatively) easy - make sure that everything was configured so she gets pleasure from the experience. Adjust the harness if needed, get a bigger (or second) vibe if needed, etc. There's also going to be a certain amount of bodybuilding going on as she develops the muscles and stamina needed. Discuss how well the position you chose worked for both of you.

Psychologically it might be a bit more difficult, and it depends quite a bit on how she viewed her experience. Undoubtedly the first few times will be new and unusual, but check to see if she was comfortable with herself while pegging you and how she could be made more comfortable. When she's comfortable she'll orgasm easier, so this also ties back into the physical side. The psychological side is by far the most difficult part.
09/02/2010
Brian Brian
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
So she's pegged you and she's not into it? If so, that's a start.

How good are you (as a couple) about discussing sexual things afterwards? Not in the sense of "immediately roll over and talk about rating this ... More
Hi Scott, you're always so insightful. No we haven't done it nor do I expect us to until at least after the beginning of next year because we have family still living with us until then. I guess what I'm trying to get an idea of is what it's like for a reluctant spouse that finally decides to do it and how long it takes before it becomes something they actually enjoy vs just doing it to appease. Obviously each woman is different but I was just wondering if anybody had any experience with this.
09/02/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Brian
Hi Scott, you're always so insightful. No we haven't done it nor do I expect us to until at least after the beginning of next year because we have family still living with us until then. I guess what I'm trying to get an idea of is what ... More
You can take proactive action! When you get your dildo start playing around with it to see how she's best stimulated by it, same for when you get the harness (before starting with the harness make sure you're working on how she can feel she maintains her femininity while wearing it).

For the psychological side keep on talking, but don't let it dominate the conversation. Keep thinking about ways to address the parts that she isn't comfortable with.
09/02/2010
Brian Brian
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
You can take proactive action! When you get your dildo start playing around with it to see how she's best stimulated by it, same for when you get the harness (before starting with the harness make sure you're working on how she can feel she ... More
Thanks Scott. Yeah I plan to try it out at some point using it just as a dildo. Out of curiosity how long did it take before your wife was willing to do it? I saw in another thread you said she wasn't into at first.
09/02/2010
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
I am curious as to how open-minded she is? Does she enjoy watching this type of play in porn, but is reluctant to bring it into the bedroom? Does she have some sort of moral or psychological aversion to it? How open-minded has she been in other sexual areas or is she more straight-laced? These things would all affect her level of reluctance. And while I don't think it would hurt to encourage her to try it, I also believe we have to respect our partners limitations, if she decides it is not something she is comfortable with.
09/02/2010
Brian Brian
Quote:
Originally posted by Pleasure Piratess
I am curious as to how open-minded she is? Does she enjoy watching this type of play in porn, but is reluctant to bring it into the bedroom? Does she have some sort of moral or psychological aversion to it? How open-minded has she been in other ... More
We are both Christians so we don't watch any sort of porn. The main thing she's brought it up is the whole thing of her being the man and me the female. She's definitely not as kinky as me but she does use vibrators and occasionally a dildo and on a rare occasion a small butt plug. It seems like there's times where she's wanting to try new things and other times where she doesn't even want to do things we've already done before. I know part of that is her just being female but it sure is confusing. She's getting off the pill for BC and we're switching over to condoms so we're both hoping that will help with her sex drive, energy, fat loss. She admits she has a low sex drive and wants to desire sex more so we're trying to make changes. I know it's not something that will happen over night. I don't even know how important pegging itself is as much as her wanting to try new things and sometimes even bringing up her own ideas as well.
09/02/2010
ScottA ScottA
She still isn't really comfortable with it, but there were some cultural things going on as well (she was raised Catholic and moved over to the protestants fairly recently when her family got sick of what was going on in the Catholic church).

Took most of a year to get her to try any sort of anal play on me, and I'm still not sure that she's comfortable with it (or receiving oral sex). I don't push things, which means less fun but shows her that I respect and love her.
09/03/2010
Brian Brian
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
She still isn't really comfortable with it, but there were some cultural things going on as well (she was raised Catholic and moved over to the protestants fairly recently when her family got sick of what was going on in the Catholic ... More
Good to know Scott. If it's religious issues that are causing her guilt both boards.themarriagebed. com and christiannymphos.org are both Christian sites that encourage a healthy sex life not limited by a lot of the stereotypes of what a Christian person shouldn't do in their sex life. May help out some. It sounds like both of us are in pretty similar positions although my wife LOVES oral sex. It helps to know that you're not alone and that there are people out there with spouses like yours. You're right about the respect and love and judging by the fact that your profile says you're about 30 I'd guess your spouse is about the same age in which case there's a good possibility that as she starts to get into her mid 30's she'll have an increased sex drive and could lead to more fun stuff.
09/05/2010
ScottA ScottA
She's opening up a little, after a year and a half or so of marriage she started doing external anal play without my asking, so I think that we might get to the point where she'd be the initiator for pegging, but definitely not there yet and I don't want her to feel that I'm emotionally "forcing" her to do something she isn't 100% comfortable with - or, to be more precise, that I'm doing that too often.
09/05/2010
Yoda Yoda
For me it took about 3 times for my wife to start actually enjoying it 100 percent, although she was always willing to try.
10/07/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Yoda
For me it took about 3 times for my wife to start actually enjoying it 100 percent, although she was always willing to try.
It's so important to do the groundwork so your spouse is willing to try multiple times. If you badger them into it they'll try it once and are almost guaranteed to not like it. Remember that you're "selling something". If you're lucky they'll have had a secret interest too, but that's not guaranteed.
10/08/2010
eyeneerg1984 eyeneerg1984
Thanks for all the input everyone. I had been wondering these things myself.
10/12/2010
Illusional Illusional
Stop asking or guilting them. It isn't all about you always.

Sit down and discuss why she isn't comfortable with it.
I've been asked to finger a guy's ass and he just kept pestering me with it and I then avoided sex with him all together.
I was way scared and freaked out.
10/12/2010
UrNaughtyaAngel UrNaughtyaAngel
I think once your wife sees how much you enjoy it she might enjoy bringing you such pleasure. When she pegs you for the first time try to mentioned how wonderful she is making you feel, and how you love that she is pegging you. When it comes to sex most of get pleasure out of giving pleasure.
10/19/2010
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 7