Do you think you should be upset if your lover watches porn?

Anne Anne
Just wondering.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes
HannahPanda , bayosgirl , rmiles124
3  (2%)
No
Master DarkWolf , DreamWolf , Rossie , buttplugged , Gone (LD29) , ToyTimeTim , Apate , Melan!e , sktb0007 , butterflygirlxo , XYCopperheadSly , Dixiemomma , GONE! , DeliciousSurprise , BBW Talks Toys , Bex1331 , Stark , BG529 , KrissyNovacaine , indiglo , pirata , Kitka , Love Obsessed , P'Gell , unfulfilled , BlooJay , toxie m , js250 , Calla , SecretKinksters , <3BF , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Beck , HB042 , Terri69 , Nirelan , TheirPet , Howells , ejrbrndps , OhMy! , RonLee , Geogeo , mandaj , All His , Burn , Alan & Michele , Checkmate , SubmissiveFeminist , solitudinarian , Nacht Stern , dirtythoughts:) , Steveyb , HotMama2three , Librarian , Peggi , CoffeeCup , ScarletFox , amazon , J5ive , Petite Valentine , loveme , Akira , Cora Jane , travelnurse , FHeemz , PeachCandy , RadRach , Sureshot , sweetiejo , MissBre , aimtoplease , joelb42 , Lildrummrgurl7 , Airen Wolf , Squirting and pegging , Clara , flf571 , Incendiaire , Katelyn , epiphanyjayne , jesseftm , ellieprobable , rom323 , Belle3o5 , Trysexual , padmeamidala , Intrepid Niddering , Princess Zelda , GirlOnGirl , hem , chezamanda , Lummox , namelesschaos , Pi , Stinkytofu10 , Lovely Jubblies , pixylove101 , Velocity , Thumper Logic , Supervixen , Gunsmoke , butts , comatose-kitty , inkky , MidnightStorm , Mrs.Tee , angel42539 , Marie Hanna , Beaners , RedKyuubi , johnnyjohn , jr2012 , pussy licker , iabicpl09 , toffee , XxFallenAngelxX , BiJess , Haifisch , Kitt Katt , hotinpink , Hot4You , Lovesickalien , SaraBroughman , haley730 , Liz2 , ShinySuicide , JennSenn , table38792 , Vanille , bettyboom , snowminx , shotjuan , mailroomorder , twelve13 , bog , vittmsk , Silverwinds , surreptitious , DreezzyyBabyy , CarmenCaligula , dustykatt , TiffanyW , joiedejouets , srexom , libbyv , wicked48 , junipersgame , brandi2009 , Eugler , GirlyGirlRed , JADE76 , ilovejanelle , luv 2 sex , gehuwd
154  (79%)
Maybe a little
humpday , Hoshigetsu , Noelle
3  (2%)
It depends
HarlequinBunnie , kendra30752 , darthkitt3n , Mwar , Ms. N , SilverMinxxx , LovesAPoet , marrythenight , Hallmar82 , PropertyOfPotter , PassionateLover2 , g- , mistre$$ , oldman , ChickenFeathers , TrenchcoatHunters , Mirachaya , LaSchwartz , AriaRN , sodapin , LAndJ , hhh , PassionCpl , Feisty , shorejen9 , phoenixfire , chicmichiw , Ayogirl230 , VeganChick (is Gone) , Bme , MissLinda , GingerSpice , Pierced Blaqk Skies , Cinnyree , Cosmonaut , Nezzie13
36  (18%)
Total votes: 196
Poll is closed
06/26/2012
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Master DarkWolf Master DarkWolf
Not at all.
06/26/2012
DreamWolf DreamWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Master DarkWolf
Not at all.
Indeed... ^^
06/26/2012
Rossie Rossie
Why would I be upset? I'll even watch it with him!
06/26/2012
Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
There's no reason to be upset.
06/27/2012
Melan!e Melan!e
I'm not upset by it at all. I'll watch it with him too.
06/27/2012
butterflygirlxo butterflygirlxo
No, not really. I will watch it with him!
06/27/2012
HarlequinBunnie HarlequinBunnie
Quote:
Originally posted by Anne
Just wondering.
If he watches without me yes I get upset.
06/27/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by Anne
Just wondering.
Well, it depends on how both parties feel. There's really no "right" or "wrong" way that a person SHOULD feel. However, my partner and I are intensely against pornography. It's not a question of would one of us be upset if the other watched it. It's more like how hurt the other will be and well, we wouldn't be together if either was OK with pornography. Yes, I have very intense feelings against it and I have so many reasons for those that I won't get into. It's not foolish to be upset if your loved one watches another naked person, not you have sex. It's betrayal to some of us. Some of us feel that it's cheating, and that it isn't "monogamous." In our opinions, when you love someone, you aren't interested in pornography or sexual thoughts/acts/desires with any other person. It's dangerous. It desensitizes the viewer and eventually they need harder and harder images/acts to "get off." When they actually do have sex with a real human, it can begin to be a problem even having orgasm.

So, people aren't wrong for the way they feel. If someone does or does not get upset with their partner's usage or lack therof of pornography, it is not wrong. You can't help what hurts you deeply.

Pornograpy is something that should be discussed at the very beginning of a relationship. Both parties need to know how the other feels and where they stand with it. That way, there's less of a chance of one person getting destroyed over it. That's not to say it can't happen if you're careful, but if you would be upset over it, it's important to get it out in the open BEFORE you begin to develop feelings. There's nothing like getting hurt, being betrayed, having your own self image destroyed by someone else. It should be taken seriously and you should be careful about who you allow that "power".

You asked do we think someone should be upset if their partner watches pornography. Well, my answer is, if they ARE upset, then yes, they should be. If they feel upset or hurt, they are not wrong.
06/27/2012
Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
nah porn doesnt bother me ... just doesnt do anything for me either
06/27/2012
Bex1331 Bex1331
nope, but you can't change how you feel, on the other hand you shouldn't act on that because it isn't really fair
06/27/2012
BG529 BG529
no...
06/27/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
We watch porn separately and together quite a bit in my house.
06/27/2012
Mwar Mwar
Generally no, it's only if it becomes and addiction or something that I would be concerned.
06/27/2012
indiglo indiglo
I voted no. I watch porn alone sometimes, he watches porn alone sometimes, and we watch porn together sometimes. I would only ever be upset if one of us would rather watch porn than be together, if it started affecting our relationship in some way. In moderation, it can really heighten the mood!
06/27/2012
SilverMinxxx SilverMinxxx
If your partner chooses porn over you, then yes.
06/27/2012
Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by SilverMinxxx
If your partner chooses porn over you, then yes.
I could see being upset in a situation like this but beyond that kind of thing, no, there's really no reason to be upset about it. We both will sometimes watch some porn on our own or occasionally we'll watch it together.
06/27/2012
Love Obsessed Love Obsessed
I don't see a reason to be upset about it.
06/27/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
If they want to watch porn, I don't care. I wouldn't tell him he could not do it. He's a grown man and can do as he wishes. However, my husband doesn't watch porn at all.
06/27/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
It doesn't bother me if he watches it, nor does it bother him if I do, and we sometimes watch it together.

I went through a phase, (after years of not really caring either way about porn, I could take it or leave it) where my sexuality was numbed by Depo Provera and a particularly malignant form of rabid 2nd Wave "Feminism" where I had issues with his watching porn.

I had to investigate my issues and I realized it was about controlling him and his feelings. My sexual feelings had been dampened and I felt his should have been, too. I was... damaged for a while. I had to investigate this on my own, and I grew and came to realize that thoughts aren't actions and that I needed to grow more and understand more. I opened my heart, I got off the Depo, I said "fuck it" to the type of feminist thought that was only burning me and causing me to become a bitter bitch, who may have been on her way to frigidity. It was BAD! Really bad. I was angry at my husband, I was angry at myself, and I was "offended" by everything around me. I was... ill.

I did a LOT of retrospection. I got a chronic pain issue dealt with. I allowed my TRUE sexual feelings to flow and realized, YES, I was a Kink. Deal with it.

My world opened. My eyes opened. My.... legs opened. I realized it was NOT my business what my husband watched or even thought about, as long as he was dedicated to me. Just as it as not his business to Police what I thought about or watched. It hit me one day as I had a book about alien abduction on the dresser. He said, "Why are you wasting your time with that shit?" I realized not only was it not HIS business what I was reading, it wasn't MINE what he was watching or reading.

A lot of other growing had to happen. But things got better, our sex life got even better. I no longer go "offended" at every fucking thing I saw.

Every once in a while I like to watch some porn. I watch it with him, or the harder core stuff by myself, then attack him. It was a growing experience.

This is MY experience. I don't expect anyone else to have the same experience, but it is what I went through. I'm glad I relaxed and opened up and allowed LIFE to flow.

I'm a happier person. I still have a ways to go, but happier, less "offended" and certainly more sexual and sensual. I think about anything and everything that gets me off when I want to, and I feel better about it.
06/27/2012
marrythenight marrythenight
I do think some porn can be degrading, but I wouldn't be offended or disappointed, only if it became degrading or damaging in our relationship. and if that happened, porn wouldn't really be the issues, but us/him/communication/s omething else underlying.

so in short, no. but I can understand why some would. every relationship is different.
06/27/2012
BlooJay BlooJay
I don't think I would get upset.
06/27/2012
js250 js250
I have always felt that if he is watching porn and taking care of his own member when I am unavailable--he is not out looking for someone else to do the job. We watch porn together and separately and have no issues with it at all.
06/27/2012
SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
I love when I catch her watching it without me, its sort of a turn on for me.
06/27/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Not at all.
06/27/2012
<3BF <3BF
Just 'watching porn' should not be a problem in a relationship. You can work out whether or not you want to watch it together, how much is too much, which fetishes are not okay to watch in your relationship, or if someone is feeling ignored by talking it out together and agreeing on something that works. Why should just the fact of someone 'watching porn' be a problem in itself?
06/27/2012
HB042 HB042
No way. I only watch it alone. He would like to watch with me, he's said... maybe someday.
06/27/2012
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
In general no, but it may depend upon the genre/fetish.
06/27/2012
Nirelan Nirelan
idc what he watches.....as long as its not a recorded porn by someone we know...its all good
06/27/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
If it's being hidden, oh yes! If we've talked about it first, than no. NOTHING should be hidden from each other in a relationship.
06/27/2012
Total posts: 115
Unique posters: 111