The 15 Dos and Don'ts of Really Good Sex

LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Em and Lo start us off with 15 Dos and Don'ts, but what are your personal rules of etiquette for making sex more pleasant?

Mine?

Warning before attempting anal penetration is required! No pretending it was an accident. We are not that stupid.
01/04/2011
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Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Em and Lo start us off with 15 Dos and Don'ts, but what are your personal rules of etiquette for making sex more pleasant?

Mine?

Warning before attempting anal penetration is required! No pretending it was an accident. We are not that stupid.
Along with the anal thing, which I agree with SO SO MUCH.
Accident my ass... lol

I love this one.


9. Don’t pop buttons indiscriminately. Bodice ripping may be sexy in romance paperbacks, but it only works in real life when you’re confident the item of clothing is easily replaceable and not considered a luxury item by your partner.


Seriously, stop watching Lifetime guys. I was so pissed when some guy ripped up my cute little babydoll and then had the nerve to tell me "It's just some satin baby, why are you so upset about it?"


SOME SATIN, you asshole?! 90 bucks worth of SATIN you sonofabitch, pay me now!



And also this one:


10. Do remove your socks. Unless your partner specifically requests that you leave them on or it’s freezing in the room. Guys: remove your socks as you remove your pants, in one smooth maneuver, to avoid being caught, even momentarily, in a nothing-but-socks moment.

Even in dim lighting, your socks seem SO blaringly white.
01/04/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Hehe yes, the anal thing needs to be in the top 15 there. I've heard WAY too many stories.

Also, when trying out something new, don't let your knee-jerk reaction be an insult to your partner. Their feelings will be hurt and their trust in you when you say you want to try it again will be gone. (This totally happened to me. I cried. )
01/04/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
When we get a new toy for the wife, I find it best to let her use it first or at least insert it. Bruised pubic bone is a real mood killer.

The anal deal is a big no no in our house, the wife does not like anything touching her there, end of story.
01/04/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
Okay, what is the big deal with socks? Unless you have a foot fetish, my feet don't really seem like that big a deal. Why can't I wear socks?
01/04/2011
MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
Okay, what is the big deal with socks? Unless you have a foot fetish, my feet don't really seem like that big a deal. Why can't I wear socks?
Hmm maybe because bare bodies with just socks looks silly? Just an idea idk about that one ether seems silly to me. If your someone like me and almost always have cold feet i'd say sex with socks on would be a better idea.
01/04/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
Okay, what is the big deal with socks? Unless you have a foot fetish, my feet don't really seem like that big a deal. Why can't I wear socks?
IMHO, it's not that I specifically want to see a mans feet, it's that I don't want to see a man naked wearing only socks. I agree with Illusional that they look sooo insanely white and really stand out...and to me it just looks silly and kind of...dweeby? It's just kind of a turn off because of how distracting it is.
01/05/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Em and Lo start us off with 15 Dos and Don'ts, but what are your personal rules of etiquette for making sex more pleasant?

Mine?

Warning before attempting anal penetration is required! No pretending it was an accident. We are not that stupid.
@ Laurel "Warning before attempting anal penetration is required! No pretending it was an accident. We are not that stupid.

LOL! "OOOPS. I missed!" Pul lease. He doesn't do that anymore. (We figured out I'm more likely to LIKE it if I have some warning.) But, damn, do they think we're that dumb? I think someone on Eden once said, "If you have to fight your way in, you're in the wrong hole for PIV."
01/05/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Do: Make sure there is nothing hard on the bed when you "throw her" onto it. Nothing like hitting a book, your eBook reader, or your glasses because he got horny and didn't look first.

01/05/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Don't: Don't stop going down to look at the television, because, she may just be just about ready to have an orgasm.

No, I don't care if it's porn and "your favorite anal scene is on." No, I don't care if The Bears were about to score (my being about to score is more important, as far as your personal happiness is concerned) No, I don't care if "that new commercial with that Mayhem Guy is on." Just don't STOP! Not for the television.

In fact, turn the TV off before attempting coitus. How's that? Yes, even the porn. You are too distracted anyway.
01/05/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Don't: Don't stop going down to look at the television, because, she may just be just about ready to have an orgasm.

No, I don't care if it's porn and "your favorite anal scene is on." No, I don't care if The ... More
Agreed! Hilarious and oh so true!

Don't fall asleep while pleasuring me. And if you do, don't lie about it. Again, no one is that dumb. I'd prefer you be honest and we can continue later than deal with your less than stellar, drunken performance.
01/05/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Along with the anal thing, which I agree with SO SO MUCH.
Accident my ass... lol

I love this one.


9. Don’t pop buttons indiscriminately. Bodice ripping may be sexy in romance paperbacks, but it only works in real life when you’re ... More
LMAO "it's just some satin baby"

I once had someone ask if I liked the jeans I was wearing (they were my favorite paid) and I told him yes, yes I did!

He told me later that had I professed not to care about them he would have tore them off me..which is completely hot, but I would have cried at the loss of my favorite pair of jeans.

So just check before you start ripping shit up, yanno?
01/05/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Agreed! Hilarious and oh so true!

Don't fall asleep while pleasuring me. And if you do, don't lie about it. Again, no one is that dumb. I'd prefer you be honest and we can continue later than deal with your less than stellar, ... More
hee hee

Ok, the trying to lie about it was so not bright, but I've actually fallen asleep while trying to perform oral sex on someone. In my defense, I was 5 months pregnant and had spent the day climbing up hills and down into caves in the Ozarks. I was TIRED!
01/05/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
hee hee

Ok, the trying to lie about it was so not bright, but I've actually fallen asleep while trying to perform oral sex on someone. In my defense, I was 5 months pregnant and had spent the day climbing up hills and down into caves in ... More
Pregnancy is exempted, drunkenness or being "just tired" isn't.

My Man does this on occasion. GRRRR. The falling asleep. I was thinking, "WHY is he slowing down? Hey......, Oh, shit!" At no time was he pregnant.
01/05/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I can't believe anyone would actually be tired enough to fall asleep WHILE giving you oral. If I was that tired, I wouldn't even start. Hell, if my partner was that tired, I wouldn't want him to do it me either. It probably wouldn't be very good. I'd much rather have him fall asleep in my arms, and we can start again when we're both ready.
01/05/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
I can't believe anyone would actually be tired enough to fall asleep WHILE giving you oral. If I was that tired, I wouldn't even start. Hell, if my partner was that tired, I wouldn't want him to do it me either. It probably wouldn't ... More
If you are not pregnant, alcohol usually plays a part in this. Also, when you have been having sex for close to 25 years, tons of it with the same person (but not all) very little surprises you.



As for the "I wouldn't want him to do it to me" cue the strains of "I'm Just a Girl Who Cain't Say No" He's actually pretty good when he's tied one on, as long as he doesn't fall asleep.
01/05/2011
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Em and Lo start us off with 15 Dos and Don'ts, but what are your personal rules of etiquette for making sex more pleasant?

Mine?

Warning before attempting anal penetration is required! No pretending it was an accident. We are not that stupid.
OMG I have been wearing my socks every time! Didn't know that was a bad thing. Now I'm going to ask him about it.
01/05/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
If you are not pregnant, alcohol usually plays a part in this. Also, when you have been having sex for close to 25 years, tons of it with the same person (but not all) very little surprises you.



As for the "I wouldn't want ... More
My ex would fall asleep without having a drop of alcohol. Laying right there, face down on the bed, and even snore. And when I would yell about it is when I heard the "I'm not sleeping!" But no more ex now so I have higher standards for my next partner!
01/05/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
"Be honest about the state of your libido from the beginning."

I could have avoided a lot of heartache if my ex-husband didn't lie to me about his lack of libido.
01/05/2011
closed account closed account
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Along with the anal thing, which I agree with SO SO MUCH.
Accident my ass... lol

I love this one.


9. Don’t pop buttons indiscriminately. Bodice ripping may be sexy in romance paperbacks, but it only works in real life when you’re ... More
i agree, and prefer men who wear black socks anyways. hate hate white socks
01/05/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Do: Make sure there is nothing hard on the bed when you "throw her" onto it. Nothing like hitting a book, your eBook reader, or your glasses because he got horny and didn't look first.

;P One time my boyfriend tossed me onto the bed and I rolled over to be all sexy with my hair tousled and fell off the bed..

Damn satin sheets. LOL
01/05/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Don't: Don't stop going down to look at the television, because, she may just be just about ready to have an orgasm.

No, I don't care if it's porn and "your favorite anal scene is on." No, I don't care if The ... More
Thankfully he turns the t.v. off. I couldn't bear it if he stopped giving me oral for something on t.v.
01/05/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
My ex would fall asleep without having a drop of alcohol. Laying right there, face down on the bed, and even snore. And when I would yell about it is when I heard the "I'm not sleeping!" But no more ex now so I have higher standards ... More
Oh, no. I'm glad you're looking for better things, now.

I managed to stay awake for sex, even when we had a toddler and a baby (neither of whom liked to sleep) at the same time, and when we had a newborn premie who weighed less than 5 lbs and was nursing 25 times every 24 hours. HOW he does this amazes me. Ii has gotten better. (I think my bursting into tears on a few occasions had something to do with it. It really hurt my feelings and he was all, "But, I was tired....") It's only happened once in the past few months, and he warned me first. "I'm not gonna make it, babe." I said, "Shit, hand me the Wahl." (can we get an eye roll emoticon?)
01/06/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Thankfully he turns the t.v. off. I couldn't bear it if he stopped giving me oral for something on t.v.
We don't usually have the TV on (the TV in our bedroom is so small I see almost nothing from the bed) But, I bought him a compilation DVD of porn from Eden for Christmas, and he has.......been getting into it. I'll be in the bathroom, first thing in the morning after his shower and I hear the DVD player being turned on. ("Oh, YAY! I'm getting some this morning!")

I don't mind the porn, in fact it's a GREAT DVD, (we were getting bored of our collection of late) but I prefer to turn it off when we finally pry ourselves off the chair next to the TV and get into bed.
01/06/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
;P One time my boyfriend tossed me onto the bed and I rolled over to be all sexy with my hair tousled and fell off the bed..

Damn satin sheets. LOL
LOL, I love satin sheets, but they DO suck for that. And for not slipping of the bed all on their own when you are trying to sleep in them.

I would like to confess that I HAVE fallen asleep, not while giving but definitely while receiving, I was terribly drunk. On the upside, it seems that was my ex's favorite way to fool around. I didn't know that until after we broke up and it still kinda creeps me out.

Also, I have no objection to a guy wearing only their socks. I have no objection to them not wearing them either. I think a guy in just socks looks super cute.
01/06/2011
liilii080 liilii080
Don't stop in the middle to grab the clean up towel. Sheets can be washed and so can the floor (the counter, the backseat...). If there's a mess, we'll get it later for crying out loud!
01/06/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Pregnancy is exempted, drunkenness or being "just tired" isn't.

My Man does this on occasion. GRRRR. The falling asleep. I was thinking, "WHY is he slowing down? Hey......, Oh, shit!" At no time was he pregnant.


I think I have been that tired without being pregnant. Maybe... MAYBE...he deserves some points for making the effort in spite of obviously needing to sleep instead?

Still, it's really not good for the ego to have someone fall asleep while having sex with you. Not good at all.
01/06/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by liilii080
Don't stop in the middle to grab the clean up towel. Sheets can be washed and so can the floor (the counter, the backseat...). If there's a mess, we'll get it later for crying out loud!
heh

Get that guy a Liberator Throe!
01/06/2011
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
LMAO "it's just some satin baby"

I once had someone ask if I liked the jeans I was wearing (they were my favorite paid) and I told him yes, yes I did!

He told me later that had I professed not to care about them he would ... More
Not to mention that if they're good jeans trying to rip them off could hurt.

Don't rush is rightly at #1, especially at the start.
01/06/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Here's another rule!

The three most important things one must never forget about sex: foreplay, foreplay, foreplay!
01/06/2011
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Total posts: 38
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