Originally posted by
That could be my problem, actually. We apply lube like crazy, but only to begin with. We just assume it's enough. But it never feels DRY, you know? I don't know. I just don't think I'm relaxed enough.
I need to have an orgasm or a few of them before we attempt anal sex. It relaxes me like nothing else.
Also, My Man trained me for over a month, gently rimming, using lube, stimulating with only a finger tip, then a little more, very S-L-O-W-L-Y over a period of time.
Many women also find if they are vaginally penetrated (if that is what they are used to during sex) it relaxes further. We use a nice dildo or phallic vibe vaginally before and during anal sex.
Then, lots of lube and start very gentle and slowly.
But, orgasm before we try is the best thing that helped me in the beginning.
Take is slowly. I've never "torn" anything, I do have hemorrhoids (I have three kids) but according to Tristan Taoromino, anal sex and anal play actually reduce the incidence of things like hemorrhoids, by keeping the anal passage healthy. I have found the few hemorrhoids I got during pregnancy have rarely been a problem since we've been having regular anal sex the past few years.
Although some people like to prep with toys, I found I didn't enjoy anal toys until after we had actually performed full anal sex, everybody is different. We found manual stimulation and rimming were enough to get me where I needed to be to partake in this amazing form of making love.
After we got used to having anal sex, we found some toys I really liked and now regularly use a plug or a nice medium size anal probe before hand. But, you need to see what works for you.
The experience of anal sex, especially after some orgasms, is electrifying! I feel like I'm in an altered state, even more, at times, than during oral sex or PIV. If you take your time, it's an experience your most likely will not regret.