It really depends on our moods. My wife likes it gentle and slower most of the time...most of the time. She does like it rough but that is maybe one in ten. I, on the other hand, love it rough. I mean love it. Once I'm sufficiently warmed up, I want to be fucked hard and fast. - C
Once the initial penetration has occurred I like receiving it rough, most of the time. We haven't tried me giving anal yet, but if/when we do it will probably be gentler even if we end up doing it regularly. Which is fine with me, I'm not really into giving rough sex.