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As someone who enjoys anal, at the same time I feel dirty and ashamed. I can tell that my husband isn't crazy about it, which adds to the feeling of shame and paranoia ("does he think I'm a pervert for wanting it?" "I hope
As someone who enjoys anal, at the same time I feel dirty and ashamed. I can tell that my husband isn't crazy about it, which adds to the feeling of shame and paranoia ("does he think I'm a pervert for wanting it?" "I hope there's not poop on the condom..") Sadly, these thoughts interfere with my ability to enjoy it somewhat. I'm not saying the shameful feeling is because of him--I felt this way with my ex, who was VERY open, and I feel this way even when I'm using toys. But it doesn't help! How many people also feel shame when doing any kind of anal play?
You enjoy it and your "hubby isn't crazy about it". Wow, that seems a slightly unusual twist on the whole thing. Maybe the best thing is for you and he to talk it out. Maybe HE likes it more then you think and maybe HE can actually make you feel less ashamed in any case.
We love anal play...the intensity and incredible "trust" you give to your partner in allowing them entry into that MOST personal zone. My hubby goes NUTS for my tush and I feel nothing but JOY that he loves me...and my hiney, frankly, so darn much!!!!
Shame has never come into the picture, really. If you have a good relation, then DO talk it out and get that albatross off your back. Shame and dirty are NO fun and sex should be FUN. Carefree and FUN between two married people, for sure!!!!
Oh..in my 37 years or so of anal play, we (and a couple lovers before WE were we) never used a condom for this kind of play and there has never been "poop" anywhere. The rectum is empty if you are not prepared to have a bowel movement and so anal play is often VERY clean. It is another reason we DON'T like enema's before anal, since that DOES churn stuff up and I have heard more people have "accidents" from the enema,which likely would NOT have happened without it. Just a thought.
HAVE FUN and best wishes sorting this out.