Any such thing as being too tight?

cmm cmm
My partner is a relatively small girl, and her butt is tight. And by tight, I mean really really tight. I can barely even get my fingers in there without her complaining. It's not that she doesn't want it, but she just simply can't take it. She doesn't really seem to interested in wearing a plug with a decent diameter neck though, so what can I do?
08/29/2013
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eri86 eri86
Well certainly don't force it. Gradually work at first getting her muscles to just relax, then from there work on getting them to stretch.

But if even then, she's still tight, accept that any type of anal play might not be in your future.
08/29/2013
SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
A good lube, take your time, and gradually increase the size of toys...most importantly don't rush it!
08/29/2013
SwitchedOn546 SwitchedOn546
The best tricks all involve relaxing. For instance, she could take a bath beforehand. A warm bath versus a shower will relax all of her muscles, including the outer muscles around the area in question.

Another good tip is to use foreplay. There are two sphincters, and while you have control over the outer one to some degree, you have very little control over the inner one. This is typically where the pain comes from. However, vaginal foreplay (cunnilingus, fingering, etc.) while slowly working with a finger, then two, etc. is great for relaxing that painful second sphincter and also for the second potential problem - the mental block. Often, there is a natural mental block against anal activity because it is such a foreign sensation. This can be greatly helped with some pleasure; focusing on her vagina will take her mind off of her ass while she adjusts to the sensation.
08/31/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by cmm
My partner is a relatively small girl, and her butt is tight. And by tight, I mean really really tight. I can barely even get my fingers in there without her complaining. It's not that she doesn't want it, but she just simply can't take ... More
Okay, take it from this girl who is an anal fanatic and so very tight that every time I have a colonoscopy, I am asked if I have trouble with pain from bowel movements and I even had one gastroenterologist tell me that I might need "anal dilation". If only he had a clue how often my tush enjoys fingers, toys and a penis, he would have croaked.

Anyway, being very, very tight, I can tell you personally, this is all about maximal relaxation (that means trust and being comfortable about the act) and then it is about finding the right lube for you. Some just do not work for me. Period.

Next, position is everything. I know you read all over about Doggy Style. I cannot do it. It hurts. Never could. Have tried...more then once. However if I am on my back, supine, with my legs over my guys shoulders (usually with my butt off the edge of the bed and maybe even on a pillow) while he stands between my legs), he can penetrate me anally with zero pain (I don't do pain...at all). It is all intense, immense, incredible pleasure and intense orgasms for me. He can reach my clit and vagina that way too...all good.

Also, sometimes laying on my left side, with upper leg bent forward, (spooning okay, but best, again if hubby is standing by edge of bed and my butt is hanging off), he can enter me easily.

Next is our cardinal rule. SLOW, SLOW, SLOW, and LUBE, LUBE, LUBE...and when you have had too much lube, add more. I do have the ability to take him (sometimes, if it feels right to me), in one slow direct "go", but it MUST be MY call. In short, the person receiving calls all the shots. "slower, faster, deeper, stop or pull out please" and the "giver" needs to listen and do what is asked, immediately. No questions, period.

When I use a plug or toy, same rule applies and it is always something small in diameter. I don't do big or wide. Essentially, my hubby is the biggest thing that goes in my tush and usually a finger is what comes prior to that, if anything.

She can do it, but it takes trust, patience and a lot of testing of what lubes work best for her. (I have friends who swear by certain anal lubes and they don't do squat for me. Meanwhile, I now have some "go to" lubes that are a must in my night stand).

GOOD LUCK TO THE BOTH OF YOU. Have Fun.
08/31/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by SwitchedOn546
The best tricks all involve relaxing. For instance, she could take a bath beforehand. A warm bath versus a shower will relax all of her muscles, including the outer muscles around the area in question.

Another good tip is to use foreplay. ... More
You know, way back when...a zillion years ago, when my first lover introduced me to anal (I have not thought of this in forever), he was giving me a superb oral session, and actually stopped for a moment, looked up at me and said "do you trust me to make you feel some even more amazing sensations"? I said "yes" and he then said, "do you trust me to touch you anywhere to make this happen...I promise you can say stop if it hurts or you want me to stop for any reason". Again I said "yes". It was then that he continued to pleasure me vaginally (while I wondered what more was in store) and only after at least one clit orgasm from his tongue did he gently and slowly work his way down to my anus, as well as inner thighs, pleasuring me there, slow and gentle for what seemed like an hour. Then he moved back up to my vagina and clit and started caressing my anus with a very well lubed pinkie finger. He went in just a bit, and massaged there, very slow, very gentle. It was me who had to say "go in a bit deeper". I think I said that three or four times before his finger was completely in me. It felt amazing. It was the start of me being hooked on anal play. It was intense, passionate play and felt good (none of the pain people spoke of) and it was another three or four sessions like that (probably three weeks later) before I asked him to put his penis in my anus and again he showed gentle skill and complete regard for my feeling and enjoyment. It took that great lover, and two more after, to turn me into the woman I am now, a real anal fanatic with my super duper hubby. That, however, was the key, a great first (second, third and so on) experience.
09/01/2013
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
Try doing it in the shower. Fortunately we have a large double shower. Somehow the shower environment loosens things up. The mind and the body. All the above advice sounds good !
09/02/2013
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 6