How deep is too deep? And other safety questions.

FantasyFanatic FantasyFanatic
I have a lot of little questions, and I'll try to keep this as short and simple as I can.

Just FYI while answering, keep in mind that I'm a guy, and I'm only referring to play involving toys here.

I always hear/read that if your ass is penetrated too deep or at the wrong angle, it can cause damage to the lining of the rectum. But I've seen videos of people taking toys deep enough that it doesn't even seem possible.
So how deep is too deep exactly?
What angles and positions should be avoided during anal play?
What positions are considered the best for not only pleasure, but comfort and ease of access as well? And which ones would allow for the deepest (but safe) penetration?
Too much ass play too often supposedly doesn't give your ass muscles time to heal and tighten back up. How often is too often and how long does it normally take for the rosebud to return to its normal size/tightness?
Very thick toys seem to be advised against for anal play because of how much they stretch things out, but with proper downtime for healing that shouldn't matter right?
Can thicker dildos or prostate toys that aren't shaped right for my anatomy put too much pressure on the prostate?
And lastly, I can't ride/thrust my silicone dildo fast without discomfort, but would doing so with something as solid as glass be okay?

I know there's a lot here, but I'd appreciate your time and any answers or personal experience that you can share. I consider myself an "intermediate" with anal toys. Up until now I haven't gotten solid answers to any of these questions. I've just relied on common sense, patience, and care and everything has worked out fine. But I'm ready to move on to that "expert" level and start using bigger, more interesting toys. I'd just like to know my stuff beforehand! Thanks for reading, and just answer what you can!
12/24/2012
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Supervixen Supervixen
From my experiences and from some good resources I've read and heard from other anal lovers over the years:

I'd imagine that how deep is too deep depends on the person. I have a set of anal beads that are about ten inches long, and I put them all the way in comfortably and easily without any pain. Some people may not like the sensation, and the important thing with anal play, is to take it slow and pay attention to your partner or what your own body tells you if you're the one being penetrated. If it hurts, stop! With lots of lube and being slow and gentle, you can go pretty deep and be penetrated with things that are relatively large without worrying about tearing anything. Just go slow and gentle and use a lot of lube, and it should be fine. The person being penetrated should relax his or her muscles and not tense up. If you want it and it's being done carefully and responsibly, then there should be no worry. Never use toys not intended for anal use, i.e., toys that don't have a wide enough base to stop the toy at a certain point. There are lots of plugs, dildos and beads available here on Eden that are designed specifically for that.

I don't know of any positions or angles that should be avoided, because again, that's up to what feels good for the person being penetrated. it's often easier to start out on all fours or on your stomach, though. Still, you can be on your back of even on top and still have a great, pleasurable experience. Spooning is also a nice position for anal.

As far as how much is too much? Well, I don't know. Your bum is pretty elasticlike and is designed to stretch and go back. Use your best judgement as you go. I use anal plugs and beads on a regular basis, and I've never had an issue with being too stretched out or it not tightening back up when I'm done.

Some people are "size queens" and love using girthy anal toys. What is right for you personally is a matter of trying things out, and working your way up to larger toys. Nothing should ever be rushed or forced, though. It should feel good, not uncomfortable or painful.

I don't know a lot about prostate toys as a woman who has never used them on myself or a partner, so I'll leave that to someone else who can answer.

Silicone toys are more forgiving than glass and other rigid materials. Before you try out harder, rigid toys, I'd continue with the silicone, and consider these things while you use them.

Are you using a lot of lube? Would more lube get rid of the discomfort? What is the shape of the toy? Would a different shape suit you better? Perhaps you should try a differently shaped toy. How relaxed are you? How turned on are you? If you take things slower and make sure you are totally relaxed, not tensing up, and are really turned on, would that help? What position are you in when you use the toy? Perhaps trying a different position would help.

Not to sound like a broken record, but the key to enjoying anal stimulation are to be relaxed, go slow, use lots and lots of lube, and if a toy or position doesn't work for you, keep trying others until you find the right one. Like anything with sexuality, it's a bit of a journey and trial and error until you find just what you like. The more you discover about your body and how it responds to different stimuli, the easier it will be for you to know which toys will likely suit you and which ones won't. However, you'll probably encounter some duds on the way. Don't let that discourage you though; everyone's anatomy is different, and there is no one golden sex toy that everyone always likes. Even toys that are immensely popular and well received has some people who don't see what the big deal is, and toys that a lot of people don't care for, may just be the one that another person has been looking for to send them to the moon. Keep exploring and have a good time.

Also, just a personal observation, but you seem to be really worried about doing damage to yourself with toys, which might fuel anxiety and make it hard for you to relax with a toy. There's nothing wrong with being concerned for your safety; in fact, it's highly encouraged that you be! There are a lot of reviews on the toys here from our community and a lot of really knowledgeable people writing them. Once you familiarize yourself with Eden and all the great info you can get here, I hope you'll feel more comfortable. There are books and guides too, but I haven't read any myself, so I can't recommend any of them from personal experience, but they might be worth checking out.

I hope this helps!
12/24/2012
FantasyFanatic FantasyFanatic
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
From my experiences and from some good resources I've read and heard from other anal lovers over the years:

I'd imagine that how deep is too deep depends on the person. I have a set of anal beads that are about ten inches long, and I ... More
Thanks for the reply, very informative for the most part!
About the deepness question, something I meant to add; Once the toy/penis reaches a certain point, it enters the colon right? Is it okay to push through and go deeper? I think I've had it happen a couple times, and it didn't hurt but I could feel it push through the "barrier" of the colon, which just felt odd enough that it made me cautious about doing it again. But if it's safe/pleasurable to do so, I'd like to know so I can experiment with it.

The toy that I mentioned having problems with when trying to ride/thrust faster, is a 9 inch silicone dildo that's got a realistic shape, and it's really flexible and pretty thin girth-wise. I don't try to thrust with the entire length, maybe half of it. The tip/head of the dildo is flared and significantly wider than the shaft. I'm thinking maybe that's what makes faster thrusting uncomfortable... but the whole thing including the head is pretty soft and forgiving so I'm not sure. I do use a ton of lube but maybe I just need to try some different brands of it. I'm usually pretty relaxed, and have tried several different positions. So far, laying on my side in a spooning position, but with one leg raised a little, seems to work best. But still not great.

I do worry a bit about possible damage, particularly with the prostate and colon. I'd hate for something so pleasurable and fun to go terribly wrong, and then not be able to experience that same pleasure again because I wasn't well informed on what's safe to do and what isn't.
When I'm mid session though, I'm completely relaxed. I'm careful, but not worried. The worry only really sets in if something suddenly feels off. But normally when I'm doing my thing, believe me, it's all about the pleasure
While part of the purpose of this post is to make sure I'm doing things right/safely, I'm also just wanting to move on to some bigger toys and become more enlightened on the subject of anal play in general, so I can get the most pleasure out of it as possible.

Sorry if some of this is seems like rambling or doesn't make sense, I'm like half asleep as I'm typing it, haha.
12/24/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
From my experiences and from some good resources I've read and heard from other anal lovers over the years:

I'd imagine that how deep is too deep depends on the person. I have a set of anal beads that are about ten inches long, and I ... More
THIS!

Not even more cow bell could improve this.

Thanks Supervixen!
12/24/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
I feel like a good general rule is: If you feel pain, stop. I've heard people have a nice time using really long toys and not hurting yourself, but I think that it's hard to work up to that. I also feel the same about prostate play and such; if you do something and it hurts, so it softer. Sorry I couldn't be of much more help!
12/24/2012
FantasyFanatic FantasyFanatic
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I feel like a good general rule is: If you feel pain, stop. I've heard people have a nice time using really long toys and not hurting yourself, but I think that it's hard to work up to that. I also feel the same about prostate play and such; ... More
It's all good, every little bit helps! Even if it's just an opinion or personal experience, it's all useful to me
12/25/2012
libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by FantasyFanatic
I have a lot of little questions, and I'll try to keep this as short and simple as I can.

Just FYI while answering, keep in mind that I'm a guy, and I'm only referring to play involving toys here.

I always hear/read that ... More
the answers are based on each person
12/25/2012
FantasyFanatic FantasyFanatic
Quote:
Originally posted by libbyv
the answers are based on each person
Everyone has preferences, yes. But some of these are definitely pretty general, I feel. Since basic human anatomy is nearly identical from one person to the next, except for differences in size
But um, thanks for your post, I guess?
12/26/2012
ScottA ScottA
Positions: these are up to you. Generally, ones where you're a bit bent can help straighten the rectum (doggie, squatting, on your back with legs up, etc.) Do what works for you - we're all a bit different.

As far as depth - again, you're kind of on your own. Be very careful - discomfort can mean that you're at your limit, but it doesn't have to feel uncomfortable to cause problems. Make sure you never force anything in your butt.
12/27/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 6