It depends on what we are doing.
If we're having PIV, we rarely use lube. I needed it for a while a few years back, but I'm on HRT for premature peri-menopause, and my natural lubrication is back. (YAY!) I will use it for a vaginal toy during masturbation,(He gets me wetter than I can get myself) or if we're having a marathon and I've "cooled off" a little and need to put the toy in so we can then have anal sex. Or, if I've already come a few times, and he just wants to see the toy in there. It turns him on. I have no complaints in that department.
For anal sex, I always
apply the lube to him, then to me, with the dildo or vibrator in place vaginally first. It's a bit of a mess, but I don't like rug burn in my butt, so we always go with more lube rather than less. Is is
kind of funny when he's slipping around, and I have to keep grabbing him and guiding him in. But, I can also control the thrust in the beginning this way, too, although he's always very gentle in the beginning.