How to get past this?

shelberlynn shelberlynn
I want to explore anal with my boyfriend, but between it hurting like hell in the beginning and feeling really ackward I have no idea how to get to a point where I actually enjoy it. Any ideas from someone more expierenced then I?
03/30/2013
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dizzygirl dizzygirl
Quote:
Originally posted by shelberlynn
I want to explore anal with my boyfriend, but between it hurting like hell in the beginning and feeling really ackward I have no idea how to get to a point where I actually enjoy it. Any ideas from someone more expierenced then I?
Start slooooow. He has to put a generous amount of time and work into getting you relaxed enough to the point that it doesn't hurt.

You should already be turned on. Then he should start playing with your butt. Like maybe some rimming and finger play. Just start with a well lubed finger. Some people recommend latex gloves for finger play. They say it actually feels better with the glove. We never use one. Once you feel comfortable with one finger, he can try two. I don't know how big your BFs penis is but if he is average then you will likely get there, eventually.

You could start with a toy, like a plug, that has a smaller girth than his penis. But again, you need to warm up before you even try to insert the toy. This is part of our foreplay... my husband plays with my ass and then inserts the plug for me. Then we might have vaginal sex with the anal plug in and then sometimes, we even go watch TV with the plug still inside me. When he recovers enough to have sex again, we go for the anal.

Another thing I can recommend (because it was recommended to me and it worked) is to start in the spooning position...ya know, where he cuddles up behind you as you both lay on your sides. After all your anal foreplay, lube up really, really good, relax and let him SLOWLY try to enter.

I still consider myself an anal novice but I just stumbled on a technique recently. While he is inserting his penis, bear down...kind of like you're going to the bathroom. This actually opens up your anus and makes insertion easier.

Once you finally get to the point where he's inside you, maybe just lay there a bit, not moving. Get used to the feeling. Then when you're ready, he can thrust in and out VERY SLOWLY. You're not gonna be getting slammed like in the pornos. Not in the beginning. Hell, I'm not even sure I want to have anal sex like that.

For me, the slower he thrusts and the longer his stroke, the better it feels.

If I had to sum it up, I'd just say relax and go slow.

eta:
My first time was a nightmare. He didn't even get his penis in and it scarred me to the point we didn't try again for many years later.

Also, in the beginning, I really didn't like the sensation. To me it felt like I had to use the bathroom. And it can still feel like that sometimes, if we don't go slow enough and I'm not totally, 100% into it. But once everything is right... I can tell you... it can and does feel incredible.

But don't feel bad if you never enjoy it. Not everyone does. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you if you don't like it. And of course, never let anyone do anything to you that you don't like.
03/30/2013
P'Gell P'Gell
Some good pointers on the above post.

Take is slow and train! Don't try to just jam a cock in there cold, with no preparation and no training.

We started with My Man rimming, using a lubed little finger, just playing with by bottom. We moved on to more than just a little finger, but only after I had already had an orgasm. I cannot stress this enough. I love anal sex, but it most likely isn't going to work if I haven't come first!

My husband and I trained me for a MONTH before we even considered him putting his penis inside me. It took a month of loving and gentle training to get to that point.

Good quality lubes, with NO flavor or "tingling" or "cooling" or "warming" stuff in them is the best for anal. There is already enough unusual sensations going on and you don't need a lube that does anything other than LUBRICATE.

NO "numbing gels." These are probably the best way to end up hurt. Pain tells you "Something is wrong, STOP!" If done properly, with the right preparation and the right lube, it should not hurt.

You may need to go back to square one and start gentle training and put off actual penetrative anal intercourse for a month or more. But, don't be keeping it up if it hurts. There are better ways that don't hurt, but you need to be prepared and.... (do I have to say this) you have to want it yourself. NEVER have anal sex, or any kind of sex "just to please" someone else, or to stop someone from asking for it.
03/30/2013
Total posts: 3
Unique posters: 3