I rarely have orgasms during PIV, (penis in vagina sex) unless I've had one right before by oral sex or from a vibrator. Even then, the first few, from oral and vibrators, while My Man mans the toys are much stronger than any residual orgasms I have during intercourse.
The majority of women do NOT have orgasms during intercourse, which is why oral sex, toy play, manual play etc is so important. I refuse to call it "foreplay" because if we're touching each other, it's SEX!
As long as you enjoy the play and come by some method, does it matter how? I haven't had an orgasm without a vibrator in years, I didn't plan it, my hormones did. But, My Man takes it in stride and enjoys playing with toys with me to see how much fun we have.
He has told me that my orgasms are more important to him than his are. I appreciate that, and we work together, as mine take longer and usually take more work. Of course, he has days where he had difficulty coming, too. Then, I'm just as patient with him.
The two of you need to talk, work together, and use whatever methods work to help bring you to orgasm.
An orgasm during PIV isn't more important than an orgasm by any other means. Please take that to heart.