Quote:
Wow...it actually makes me a bit sad to read this. I wonder how many people are caught in a sexless marriage, feeling frustrated and resentful. I think that it's cruel when a person withholds sex from their partner, especially when that partner has totally reasonable desires. I'm not sure what the whole story is here, but has she always been like this? You've been with her for 17 years, after all. Her inhibitions seem extreme (Only man on top? Like, only missionary? Is she religious?) Have you ever told her how her behavior makes you feel? Have you ever talked about it? It doesn't seem right to go unfulfilled for so long...perhaps a good sex therapist could help you guys.
Originally posted by
Istanbull
I'm one of those guys you very well describe. My wife (while she has done it) refuses to. If I could do things all over again, I would never have stayed with her more than the first 6 months instead of 17 years.
And just like you said ... more
And just like you said ... more
I'm one of those guys you very well describe. My wife (while she has done it) refuses to. If I could do things all over again, I would never have stayed with her more than the first 6 months instead of 17 years.
And just like you said about a person's refusal being an insult that they find your body gross, My wife actually comes out and says that right to my face. "No, because that's disgusting." Unfortunatly my wife doesn't like oral of any kind, giving or receiving. She also doesn't like sex that isn't man-on-top. She outright refuses everything most of you all take for granted. Things like grabbing and stroking your man's cock in between penetrations, or kissing at any opportune moment during sex. But for the longest time I was under the belief that this was what "normal" women were like and that my desires were just unrealistic and that my frustrations and the bad ways her refusals and comments make me feel were MY issue and that is was all me. But after years of being on sites like this, more and more, I've learned that it's my wife who's the odd one and that my bad fealings are actually well founded.
Being in a sexless marriage I not only suffer the sexual neglect from my wife, I am further downed by the masses. Everyone's first thought when I express my whoes is that it's all my fault by proxy because I'm the man. If my wife doesn't want to have sex with me it's because I don't satisfy her enough, or it's because I must treat her badly.
You are right, if you don't take care of your partners needs and desires, how can you expect them to do it in return and/or not seek it from someone else. Pleasing your partner should be job #1 and the very thing that pleases you most, and if both of you have that belief then both of you will find your relationship fulfilling. I love going down on women and I'm cool to do it all night without a return, but my wife won't let me. But if I was with a woman who loved me doing that for her all night, and she longed to also go down on me all night, we both would be in heaven.
I would like to write more on this matter but the post office will close soon if I don't get off this computer. less
And just like you said about a person's refusal being an insult that they find your body gross, My wife actually comes out and says that right to my face. "No, because that's disgusting." Unfortunatly my wife doesn't like oral of any kind, giving or receiving. She also doesn't like sex that isn't man-on-top. She outright refuses everything most of you all take for granted. Things like grabbing and stroking your man's cock in between penetrations, or kissing at any opportune moment during sex. But for the longest time I was under the belief that this was what "normal" women were like and that my desires were just unrealistic and that my frustrations and the bad ways her refusals and comments make me feel were MY issue and that is was all me. But after years of being on sites like this, more and more, I've learned that it's my wife who's the odd one and that my bad fealings are actually well founded.
Being in a sexless marriage I not only suffer the sexual neglect from my wife, I am further downed by the masses. Everyone's first thought when I express my whoes is that it's all my fault by proxy because I'm the man. If my wife doesn't want to have sex with me it's because I don't satisfy her enough, or it's because I must treat her badly.
You are right, if you don't take care of your partners needs and desires, how can you expect them to do it in return and/or not seek it from someone else. Pleasing your partner should be job #1 and the very thing that pleases you most, and if both of you have that belief then both of you will find your relationship fulfilling. I love going down on women and I'm cool to do it all night without a return, but my wife won't let me. But if I was with a woman who loved me doing that for her all night, and she longed to also go down on me all night, we both would be in heaven.
I would like to write more on this matter but the post office will close soon if I don't get off this computer. less
