Permission

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Permission

LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
First, this week's topic only seemed mildly interesting, but then, as I watched the video and began thinking about my own life and how this concept impacted it, I couldn't stop thinking about it!

So what about the rest of you, did this make you think? Has your ability or lackthereof to give yourself permission to be what you want seriously impacted your sexual life?
02/18/2010
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Victoria Victoria
Her vlog this week made me think about one piece of advice I have often given when people complain about bad relationships - whether how their partner treats them or how their boss treats them: People treat you the way you let them treat you.

It really does come back to permission. And just as one should give themselves permission, they should take it (assumed permission) away from others when those people are out of line.

Just sayin'.
02/18/2010
Sammi Sammi
I think it's made a major impact in mine. Gathering the courage to give yourself permission can be difficult, but once you've done it, it's amazing what a positive impact it can have.
02/18/2010
ajlq ajlq
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
Her vlog this week made me think about one piece of advice I have often given when people complain about bad relationships - whether how their partner treats them or how their boss treats them: People treat you the way you let them treat you. ...
COULD NOT AGREE MORE! People need to accept their own responsibility for how their relationships turn out, it's not just always HIS fault, HE was a jerk and I was blameless and like a saint, I put up with him for years. (That's not to say "Hey, if he hit you, you probably deserved it!" When it comes to destructive relationships, get out and then sort out the responsibility later!)

But particular when there are patterns, when you can look back through your life and say "Gee, men have always treated me in XYZ way and I don't like it", then think what you might be putting out there that's causing that...it could even be your taste in men. I know many women that think men should be strong, commanding, in charge, unafraid. That's fine, nothing wrong with that! But often, men who have raised themselves up to be like that may lack a tenderness...they may have to, to have cultivated that armor!

Basically, if the same thing goes wrong in every relationship, it's time to step back and trace back the root of that thing. You can keep pulling up the plant but if you're leaving the roots, the weed will keep growing back!
02/19/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by ajlq
COULD NOT AGREE MORE! People need to accept their own responsibility for how their relationships turn out, it's not just always HIS fault, HE was a jerk and I was blameless and like a saint, I put up with him for years. (That's not to say ...
Thank you for the compliment! I am glad you agree and can appreciate what you are saying. I often wonder how people don't see that the common denominator in all their drama ...is themselves!
02/19/2010
Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
Quote:
Originally posted by ajlq
COULD NOT AGREE MORE! People need to accept their own responsibility for how their relationships turn out, it's not just always HIS fault, HE was a jerk and I was blameless and like a saint, I put up with him for years. (That's not to say ...
Oh. My. God. You hit the nail on the head with this one! I absolutely agree! If things keep failing/ he always treats you like garbage/ he ignores or discounts you/ always cheats on you/ *insert any other 'he/she always' statements here* it's time to take a step back, take a big gulp and turn and squarely face the mirror because that is the source of all of your agony. It's rough and nobody wants to do it, but the problems will not stop until you are willing to find and either come to terms with or change what it is within yourself that causes it to continually occur.

It's not a fun experience but it is necessary if one wishes to receive a different result. I did years ago and didn't like what I saw so I changed myself to be more like what I wanted to be and lo! my (now) husband appeared in my life. I firmly believe that if you want to attract good people, work to improve yourself. Our relationship is not without a few growing pains and disagreements but I will say it is damn near perfect because we give ourselves, and each other, permission to screw up every once in a while without revisiting said screw up every.time. we disagree. We respect each other and choose not to air our issues with every one that will sit still long enough to listen because we have given permission to make mistakes, to be imperfect, but we have not given permission (either to ourselves or to each other) to be disrespectful.
02/20/2010
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Wow, this is all very interesting and I agree with all of the above.

I myself have put out the roots of my past and looking at things in a whole new light. I'm not going to be repeating the same patterns as I did before. I was treated like shit, I was never romanced, I was never given flowers, but I take responsibility for it. Well, I accept the responsiblity that I chose my partners badly.
02/20/2010
Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
Quote:
Originally posted by Kynky Kytty
Wow, this is all very interesting and I agree with all of the above.

I myself have put out the roots of my past and looking at things in a whole new light. I'm not going to be repeating the same patterns as I did before. I was treated like ...
That's exactly it... I definitely didn't mean that you were responsible for the other person's actions, those are theirs to own, but rather more of what's within yourself to continue repeating the pattern.

Congratulations on taking that first step- acknowledging yourself and heading in the right direction!!! That is the hardest part, beginning the forward movement. You'll pick up speed and, a year from now, look back and go 'wow, I was there?!' or at least I did!

Yay! I get so excited to read/ hear people empowering themselves and taking charge of their life and, instead of letting life happen to them, start really living their own life.
02/20/2010
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 6