My son is going to be 13 in December, i have the feeling I should have the big talk with him.How did you have the talk with your son/daughter?
Well, I don't think you have to go into a lot of detail because a preteen has already learned a lot between school friends and TV. I would start by asking what he knows. That way you can fix any incorrect information. Then continue from there.
I agree with Beck about fixing any incorrect information they may have. Also, allow them the opportunity to ask you any questions they may have. I'd educate them on safe sex, how to properly use condoms. Have them know that you're there to talk if they come up with any questions later after the talk. No question is a dumb question because it's better to be properly informed.
I'd suggest a series of conversations instead of one big mortifying one for the both of you. That is what the experts are recommending.
I totally agree on the series of conversations thing.
I think sex and sexuality should be explained in minute detail at age-appropriate levels from the time a child is old enough to be asking questions (like where babies come from, what their genitals are, etc), all through their childhood and teenage years.
My mom gave me the full-out this-is-where-babies-c ome-from talk when I was 10, but by then I had already figured it out! The more we talked, the easier it got for me to ask questions and for her to be open with me and share her views with me, as well as the facts.
I think her openness was especially helpful for me, because she informed me of STIs, pregnancy, and also the emotional factors that come into sex.
When I lost my virginity at 17, I was totally prepared, and had no regrets. (I was very safe, BTW!)
A big reason I waited until I was 17 (despite having sexual stirrings BEFORE I was evena teenager), was because of all the talks with my mom. A lot of kids are misinformed and their parents don't talk to them about this stuff, and I think that plays majorly into why a lot of kids are having sex so young....(I know people who lost their virginity as young as 10!)
My mom and me never really had the talk, I learned by my self. I just want him to be able to talk to me and have a open line of communication. But it seems hard for me since i am a girl and he is a boy. Yes my husband is around but i don't think that he feels comfortable talking to him.
Thanks for all the info I can really use all of it and it has taken some weight off my shoulders