What, if any, relationship do sex and love have for you?

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What, if any, relationship do sex and love have for you?

Dame Demi Dame Demi
Being newly divorced from my husband of 17 years has prompted me to examine my past relationships and sexual experiences with men as well as my current feelings about love and sex. Looking back on my sexual and non-sexual relationships led me to the realization I do not draw any correlation between sex and love at all. I loved my husband more than anything, but that didn't make the sex more special or make me need or want it more. In other situations, I've had various forms of sexual relations with close friends and complete strangers, and neither has had more meaning than the other. I discussed this realization with several female friends and was surprised to discover more than half of them felt the same way. So I'm curious how others view the relationship between love and sex. Comments elaborating on your answers are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks!
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Women: Sex is an expression of love, and meaningless without it.
Jul!a , potstickers , Persephone Nightmare , DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO , nicky51679
5  (21%)
Women: Sex is a necessary part of love, and I only engage in it to maintain or strengthen my love relationship.
Eden C.
1  (4%)
Women: Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be fulfilling.
Taylor
1  (4%)
Women: Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be enjoyable.
pinkcupcakes , clp , Coralbell , DeliciousSurprise , Happy Camper , Crystal1 , toxie m , Alyxx , Brandi Rouxxx , C4ss , wetone123
11  (46%)
Women: Love can make sex less enjoyable.
Women: Love is detrimental to good sex.
Women: Love and sex have no connection for me whatsoever.
Red Vinyl Kitty , talkless
2  (8%)
Women: Other (Please explain):
StrawberryEve
1  (4%)
Men: Sex is an expression of love, and meaningless without it.
Rainbow Boy
1  (4%)
Men: Sex is a necessary part of love, and I only engage in it to maintain or strengthen my love relationship.
Moein
1  (4%)
Men: Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be fulfilling.
Men: Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be enjoyable.
Fuzzycow
1  (4%)
Men: Love can make sex less enjoyable.
Men: Love is detrimental to good sex.
Men: Love and sex have no connection for me whatsoever.
Men: Other (Please explain):
Total votes: 24
Poll is closed
02/26/2011
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Eden C. Eden C.
I need to be really interested in a person in order to have sex. I wouldn't say I need to be completely in love, but I need to be part of the way there.
02/26/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
For me personally, I can't have sex with someone unless I have serious feelings for them. I've always been that way.
02/26/2011
clp clp
My ideal answer would have been further up, but I remember being in a particularly loveless relationship that was good only for the sex. I don't miss a second of it but in being honest, I didn't need his love and he didn't need mine for the sex to be satisfactory. Very sad but true.

That being said: I much prefer having a relationship that I am confident in before sex. I'd rather have that emotional connection established first; sex gets better with it in place.
02/26/2011
Moein Moein
I am a married person and beleive that: Sex is love making..

Love leads to Sex, but Sex is not every thing in Love.
02/26/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I wish I could've chosen more than one, but...

Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be fulfilling.
Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be enjoyable.

Love can make sex less enjoyable.
Love can be detrimental to good sex.
02/27/2011
StrawberryEve StrawberryEve
My first was with my ex-boyfriend, who I was friends with beforehand. My trust in him was what I needed, even though I loved him. It doesn't matter if there's a romantic type of love for me, because I won't have sex unless I trust my partner.

I guess what I'm trying to say is as long as I don't hate them and I trust the person completely, I'll be fine.
02/27/2011
Crystal1 Crystal1
Love makes it much better, but it can still be fun without.
02/27/2011
Taylor Taylor
Quote:
Originally posted by Crystal1
Love makes it much better, but it can still be fun without.
I completely agree
02/27/2011
Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
I wish I could've chosen more than one, but...

Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be fulfilling.
Love enhances the sexual experience, but is not necessary for the sex to be enjoyable.

Love ...
Yeah, I'm sorry for limiting it to just one answer; but as your post illustrates, the choices are not mutually exclusive. I have a good friend who is a sub with strong masochistic tendencies, and the love of her life never managed to fulfill her sexually because he couldn't bring himself to cause her the pain she craved. In their case, his love actually became an obstacle to a fulfilling sexual relationship. So many of the choices can be 'true,' but I'm trying to get a sense of everyone's overall attitude toward the relationship between sex and love. Thanks for participating!
02/27/2011
Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
My husband and me are in an open relationship right now, and I can honestly say that the only person I have romantic love for is him. I do not feel that the love itself has anything to do with our sexual experiences. It is always wonderful to be able to tell him I love him, but I never feel like I love him *especially* more when we're having sex, per se.

I've played with other people since we've had an open relationship, and I feel no kind of romantic love for any of those I've played with. I do not feel like this diminishes our play, but rather, allows us to be more relaxed without having to worry about attachments. Of course I care about them, but more in the way that I care about a good friend. This is much different than romantic love to me.
02/27/2011
Alyxx Alyxx
While sex without love can be great, with my current boyfriend I've really realized how much better love can make sex. There's such a deep connection, and neither one of us has ever had better sex.
03/04/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
Quote:
Originally posted by Alyxx
While sex without love can be great, with my current boyfriend I've really realized how much better love can make sex. There's such a deep connection, and neither one of us has ever had better sex.
Ditto...
03/09/2011
talkless talkless
I'm not sure love is important in the bed for me but i will say that it is nice to have a partner who knows me well enough to know what I want.
12/30/2012
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 13