Originally posted by
For years I simply stated the fact that I didn't marry hubby for his abilities in the bedroom. Luckily for me he's trainable. He's getting much better but more often then not I simply let him roll over and sleep while I leave the room
For years I simply stated the fact that I didn't marry hubby for his abilities in the bedroom. Luckily for me he's trainable. He's getting much better but more often then not I simply let him roll over and sleep while I leave the room to find a quiet moment to take care of me. I usually feel sorry for him cuz I'm aggressive and since he has physically demanding work he needs his rest. But yeah I need to be satisfied too. Haven't gotten to the point where I can relax enough to masturbate with him there not unless he's really out cold. It's one of my goals in my head.
Sometimes, it's OK to just say, "You know, I'm not done. I didn't come, and I'd like to. Do you want to keep going, or will you just hold me and I'll do it myself with my Hitachi?"
IMO, sex doesn't end only when the guy with the penis ejaculates.
(OK that was a dumb play on "It ain't over until the fat lady sings" but I tried.) You could offer him the choice between being there
while you finish yourself, or being there
while he keeps going and you get what you deserve. It's OK to say something. He isn't going to leave because you didn't have an orgasm in record time. If you give him the choice, couched in terms that he will be there with you either way
then he'll realize, "Hey, she isn't finished. I'm a Man, I need to finish my Job."
My Man is in his 50s, he works hard, and I still
will say something if I want to come and haven't yet. Sometimes, especially if I have had several orgasms in the previous 12 hours or so, we can have a quickie and I don't even need to orgasm. But, sometimes, no matter what the situation, I WANT to Come. I am not going to let him get out of the responsibility. Yes, I am responsible for my own orgasms
To a point, only if I get the chance, though, but part of that responsibility is letting him know WHEN I am not done, so that he can do what needs to be done, or at least be WITH me if he's tired. A man with an exhausted penis can still provide oral or manual stimulation to you. He can still pleasure you, even if he's already had his orgasm.
I know it sounds cliche but it comes down to communication. Usually, My Man knows if I haven't had an orgasm and can tell, without my saying anything, that I want at least a few. But, sometimes he doesn't realize and I don't expect him to be a mind reader, nor do men (sorry guys) pick up on "hints" very well.
You have to direct and to the point with men
. They aren't very subtle beings.
There's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm still horny. I want an orgasm. I am pretty sure I will have at least one if you/we....." whatever will work.
It makes me sad to see women sneaking off to have their orgasms alone, when a perfectly healthy, sound, good man lies there. TELL HIM!!
My Man and I went through a period where he was falling asleep DURING sex, often before I came. I was very very upset about it, so I TOLD him. I made some jokes and all he did was laugh and thought I was OK with it. I wasn't. I had to let him know, "My orgasms are better if you are with me. Please, stay awake long enough for me to get what I need." I cried a little, too. That seemed to help. He doesn't sleep during sex anymore. Really.
We also almost always get me to have my first orgasm first. Before his. That way, if he does conk out, it won't be me
lying there in frustration.
I can always do it again in the morning or give him a BJ in the morning, if I get what I need and then he checks out.
It's OK to talk about sex with him.