Advice For a Dire Situation

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Advice For a Dire Situation

ehue1992 ehue1992
So I am a college student. Next week is the final exam for my Public speaking class. The final exam is a persuasive speech and my topic is why gay marriage should be legal. Unfortunately my cousin is in the class with me. My cousin has invited my Grandmother to see our final speeches. The problem with this is that my Grandmother is literally the ONLY person left in my family who doesn't know that I'm gay. I haven't told her because I haven't been ready. So now I have till next Tuesday to come out to my Grandmother, who is a hardcore christian woman. This will only be more awkward because I've been living with her for the last year to help her around the house. I'm at my whits end and on the verge of tears right now. Coming out to my family was hard enough when I told them in my own time. Now I have less than a week to tell her. Advice would be appreciated
12/07/2011
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Rainbow Boy Rainbow Boy
Since both your cousin and your grandmother will be there, and you don't feel comfortable with that, maybe you can change your topic to something else.
12/07/2011
Antipova Antipova
Oh wow---it's got to be really hard to have a deadline thrust upon you like that, especially when you're in such close living contact! I am sure some others here will have more advice than me, but I do want to offer you all my support and a big hug.
12/07/2011
ehue1992 ehue1992
Thanks Antipova. And Rainbow Boy, it took me four weeks to write this speech so I'd rewrite it if I could, but unfortunately time is a factor.
12/07/2011
Rainbow Boy Rainbow Boy
Oh, I see. Well, the only other thing I can think of is asking your cousin if he/she can un-invite your grandmother. I know that sounds terrible, but given the conundrum you're in, it seems like an option.

If that doesn't work, do you really think a persuasive speech on gay marriage would automatically make your grandmother think you're gay? There are lots of people who aren't gay who support same-sex marriage.
12/07/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
If you don't want to come out to your grandmother, that's totally fine. There are many options, as I see it.

- For one, you could ask your cousin to vouch and say that the professor randomly assigned topics to everyone in the class. Your topic just happened to be gay marriage, and the topics were not allowed to be switched, traded or in any way altered.
- You could say that you chose a difficult topic that you don't have strong personal feelings about, because you felt that it would be personally challenging.
- You could say you chose gay marriage because it's a topical subject that would grab the attention of the class. You also hoped that it would impress your professor to argue a current political issue.
- Tell your grandmother that you might not perform as well in front of her because it would make you nervous. Ask if she would consider not coming, but seeing a private oration instead. Simply say that doing your oration in front of her and your class would be too nerve-racking and that your grade relies upon a good performance. If you do a private oration for her, you can improvise a quickie 60 second argument about just about anything.

Good luck! Seriously, there are plenty of family members that don't know all about my sexuality, and that's fine by me. Not everyone needs to know (or can handle knowing) everything and that's okay. You can come out to her in your own time - or not at all, if that's your choice. Your sexuality is your own private business, and your grades are priority, so go ahead and lie if need be. ALSO, what the fuck is with your cousin? Damn.
12/07/2011
ehue1992 ehue1992
Thanks for all the advice everyone. Oh and @Owl Identified, my cousin is a very cruel and heartless bitch. She even had the balls to insult my abilities as a nurse at my grandfather's funeral. So....yeah, she's got issues
12/07/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by ehue1992
Thanks for all the advice everyone. Oh and @Owl Identified, my cousin is a very cruel and heartless bitch. She even had the balls to insult my abilities as a nurse at my grandfather's funeral. So....yeah, she's got issues
Hm, in that case, I would tell your grandmother that you chose the topic for reasons #2 and #3 - that way, your cousin can't accuse you of lying. Good luck, and when all this is over with, I hope you put that cousin of yours in her place!
12/07/2011
Rainbow Boy Rainbow Boy
Owl Identified gave a lot of excellent advice. Let us know how it goes!
12/07/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
If you aren't ready to tell her, or her to find out, just don't come right out and say it. Just say you're a strong supporter.

If you aren't bringing your girlfriend around to family functions, is it really necessary to tell your family? It's one thing to "live a lie", it's another to tell them more info than they want to know.
12/07/2011
Gingy Gingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Rainbow Boy
Oh, I see. Well, the only other thing I can think of is asking your cousin if he/she can un-invite your grandmother. I know that sounds terrible, but given the conundrum you're in, it seems like an option.

If that doesn't work, do you ...
good points!

Just don't say you are gay during your speech, maybe you can convince your grandmother that we aren't that bad after all!

She may already know? if everyone else knows, someone has probably said something to her already.
12/08/2011
ehue1992 ehue1992
THANKS EVERYONE!! I Gave My Speech Today. It was a MASSIVE success! My grandmother took everything surprisingly well
12/13/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by ehue1992
THANKS EVERYONE!! I Gave My Speech Today. It was a MASSIVE success! My grandmother took everything surprisingly well
I'm really glad to hear it!
12/13/2011
Rawhide Rawhide
Congrats! Glad she suprised you
12/13/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by ehue1992
THANKS EVERYONE!! I Gave My Speech Today. It was a MASSIVE success! My grandmother took everything surprisingly well
Yay! I know I wasn't here to offer advice beforehand (I was going to echo Owl's fantastic advice), but I'm glad to hear everything went well either way.
12/14/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ehue1992
THANKS EVERYONE!! I Gave My Speech Today. It was a MASSIVE success! My grandmother took everything surprisingly well
Congrats! That's good to know.

May I ask? Did you come out or leave the subject as simply a speech subject? I think either would have been fine.

A lot of straight people support gay marriage, too.

I'm happy everything worked out.
12/14/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by ehue1992
THANKS EVERYONE!! I Gave My Speech Today. It was a MASSIVE success! My grandmother took everything surprisingly well
congrats! that's wonderful!!
12/14/2011
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 10