Gay, lesbian, bi, pan, or transgendered; Do you believe you should remain true to that by just being attracted to whom you are suppose to be according to your acclaimed sexuality?

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Gay, lesbian, bi, pan, or transgendered; Do you believe you should remain true to that by just being attracted to whom you are suppose to be according to your acclaimed sexuality?

mnc5051 mnc5051
I am curious to see what people opinions are on whether or not a lesbian should like dick or if there is a strict line on what you should be attracted to or like depending on your acclaimed sexuality?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Love according to your Sexuality ( Straight love the opposite sex, Gay love same sex...etc)
3
Love according to society ( males love boobs, women love dick)
2
Love according to what makes you happy
154
Total votes: 159 (158 voters)
Poll is closed
11/02/2010
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BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I'm going to speak for the straight population here: You should love according to what makes you happy. I've heard of men who are gay that fall in love with a woman because of the woman, not because of her vagina, and they aren't "straight" all of a sudden (or even bisexual). And you can hear of all sorts of people of acclaimed sexualities loving someone outside of their "realm" of sexuality because of the individual they fell in love with.

I can understand why straight women fall for other women, completely. It doesn't make me any less straight because there are women that I could fall in love with.
11/02/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Based on the fact that most of the demographic here fall into a pretty open minded category, I'd be willing to bet the majority of votes will go to option three. That's where my personal vote went as well.
11/02/2010
Lif3sambiguity Lif3sambiguity
If you are going to declare yourself as a lesbian then be a lesbian don't have sex with men. If you are a gay guy, have sex with guys. If you are bi, then do whatever you want. If your pan, which I have never heard of, you can fall in love with anything or anyone right? sounds a little fishy to me. Why are there "sexual orientations " if individuals are just going to go off and do what makes them happy or better yet meet their sexual needs at a certain point in time? What happened to traditional standards in relationships? What happened to being gay and being happy, being a lesbian and loving only pussy? No wonder we can't get equal rights or unions, because we "change" our minds and wants and don't stick to any one specific thing. I am not hating on anyone, I am just saying we make things more complicated then what they actually are.
11/02/2010
Waterfall Waterfall
I think that loving according to what makes you happy is important because you should not be limited by an "orientation" and what it dictates as right or wrong.
11/02/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Lif3sambiguity
If you are going to declare yourself as a lesbian then be a lesbian don't have sex with men. If you are a gay guy, have sex with guys. If you are bi, then do whatever you want. If your pan, which I have never heard of, you can fall in love with ...
You might want to check this link out, especially the graph that shows the spectrum scale.

link

It's a little more complicated than it seems like you believe it to be.
11/02/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
It is about being happy. A label is just that.. a label. Love who you want, when you want. Life is too short to be concerned with what other people think or what labels define.
11/02/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Lif3sambiguity
If you are going to declare yourself as a lesbian then be a lesbian don't have sex with men. If you are a gay guy, have sex with guys. If you are bi, then do whatever you want. If your pan, which I have never heard of, you can fall in love with ...
Pansexual is a term that means someone is open to any partner, regardless of their gender identity.

Alicia is right, the Kinsey scale established year ago that there is a huge spectrum of variable levels of taste out there. Recently this study's results revealed it's also not a scale set in stone and is claiming "most people's orientations are not as rigid as once believed."

The only reason I can see that anybody would feel obligated to stick to the label they've chosen is so that other people can be comfortable knowing how to classify them—"You're gay so I know you will be with other men (or women) and not women (or men)...but if you start dating a woman, then I am all confused and don't know what to think."

But really, it's not about making other people comfortable. It's about being who you are regardless of what label you might have chosen. Nobody should feel obligated to stick to a label that no longer fits.
11/02/2010
Waterfall Waterfall
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
It is about being happy. A label is just that.. a label. Love who you want, when you want. Life is too short to be concerned with what other people think or what labels define.
Very well said! I fully agree.
11/02/2010
ButchAndFemme ButchAndFemme
Happy is as happy does. Fair enough?
11/09/2010
lemony lemony
The labels are put on by society, I try to look past them.
11/26/2010
Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
It is about being happy. A label is just that.. a label. Love who you want, when you want. Life is too short to be concerned with what other people think or what labels define.
so true
12/16/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Sexuality is fluid. Labels are there to pigeon-hole people, in an effort to declare certain sexual behavior as WRONG, IMMORAL, UNACCEPTABLE, ABHORRENT behavior that will damage small children, animals and anyone else they come in contact with.


I identify as straight, but I have had sex with more women than my husband has. My husband identifies as straight but he wouldn't mind finding out what performing oral on a guy is like. *I* cannot be in a relationship with a woman. He has no desire to be in a relationship with a man. But when it comes to straight sex and no feelings involved, we're all willy-nilly about it.

And I have been in a relationship with a woman. There were certain aspects of it that were vastly appealing - we could pillow talk about periods and other girls we hated or any of those other girly things Cosmo tells us we have to talk about. But, she couldn't solve any of my problems and her lack of physical strength bugged me. So I went back to my guy.

There is sex and there is love and the two should never be confused.
12/16/2010
KnK KnK
You know, whatever works for you is fine. A friend of mine labels herself as a lesbian. She has a girlfriend and they are very happy together, but very infrequently she's had sex with men. She considers herself predominantly a lesbian with a fluid sexuality...
12/19/2010
Reserved Reserved
For most women sexuality is fluid and changes from one experience to another. Just love one another. Enough with all the pressures and societal crap.
01/13/2011
vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
Trying to deny your feelings because it doesn't fit a label - even one you've picked - isn't really a good idea. Love who you love and call yourself whatever you identify as.
01/19/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it but just so you know being transgender is not a sexual orientation. Being transgender simply means that you do not identify with the sex you were assigned at birth and it doesn't impact your sexual orientation. I know trans people that are straight, trans people that are bi, gay, all different orientations.

I would just advise you to phrase things more carefully in the future so you don't step on anyone's toes.
01/19/2011
guy4guyz420 guy4guyz420
Be who you are!!! Screw what other people think
01/20/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
I disagree that there should be any sexuality/sexual identity scale with defined endpoints. A scale suggests that the range of sexualities/sexual identities is linear and one-dimensional and that there is no room for individuality or overlap.

I look at it this way, largely because of my academic background. I assume all of you have heard of a "food chain". The "food chain" infers that there are endpoints and discrete midpoints that represent where an organism fits in terms of who eats whom. The problem is that nature doesn't work that way. Organisms eat a lot of things and many of them are not committed to eating another organism at one level. What is more accurate is the term "food web", where there are many possibilities and each organism is connected to each other through a number of different pathways, just like in a spider web.

I think sexuality/sexual identity is like that web, as webs are multidimensional and provide more possibilities for individual characteristics. You are what you are, and there is no need to shoehorn yourself onto a scale or chain that doesn't accurately reflect what you are.
01/20/2011
M121212 M121212
This is interesting! The way I see it, many people who chose an "alternative" sort of sexuality have already made the decision to love whomever they want to love.
01/25/2011
thatonegirl thatonegirl
We don't choose who to love it happens you just have to be open enough to let it happen.
01/26/2011
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by mnc5051
I am curious to see what people opinions are on whether or not a lesbian should like dick or if there is a strict line on what you should be attracted to or like depending on your acclaimed sexuality?
personally love isnt aboutsex itsan added bonus i love both sexs and enjoy sex with both sexs and dont relaly care what society thinks
03/12/2011
Ash&Becca Ash&Becca
I don't claim a sexual orientation, I was open to where my heart would lead me.... It lead me to a wonderful woman and my now fiancee, Ashley. I had never been with a girl before her, but there was just something about her.
03/15/2011
ShadowKitten ShadowKitten
Being a virgin, I have yet to have any real...connection I suppose to any gender, I love pretty much all types of women and appreciate all the beauty they offer as well their softer (well, most of the times, I'm also submissive so strong dominant female personalities are attractive to me as well ) sides of things. HOWEVER I have found a fair share (I'd say 100-200 total so far) of guys attractive too, I'm not attracted to their genitalia (I'm weird that way ) as much as their face, overall physique, and personality as well as personality and 'style' (like some are geeks, some are 'goths' or such) although a cute guy bum is a great thing too I am however EXTREMELY picky about the guys I'm into/attracted to and even more shy about approaching them than with females (which is quite a bit and almost never >.<). Overall I keep the label Pansexual as I have yet to experience relationships really with either, though I'd say the ratio stands at the moment about 65/35 females vs males in terms of being attracted to.

As well, I have found myself attracted to more than my fair share of trans folks so the pansexual label really does still apply, although FTM's seem to be more 'popular' to my brain than MTF's. I suppose it comes from my genuine liking of androgynous looking biological males and females alike (girly boys, tomboyish girls ^^).


To answer the poll, I like what I like, that's pretty much everything under the sun it seems until sexual and/or relationship experiences prove otherwise.

anyways sorry for the long post, just covering all the bases
03/20/2011
jfree jfree
Wish I could choose who to love (my taste is awful.) Okay, I digress. Well, I don't really want to look at it from a love perspective but an attraction perspective. I can't help but be attracted to what I like. As for a comment on here pertaining that labels are to pigeon-hole sexuality as wrong/immoral: no. I use my label because a) it makes sense to me and b) anything else sounds like I'm lying. I do agree that sexuality is fluid, but in my case, I tend to gravitate back to non-binaries and ladies most of the time (there's the odd male crush here and there, but they're rock stars/famous people and a lot of it's a star-struck-ness sort of thing.)

Also, that thing about lesbians only liking dick: people love using that on me when I say I'm a dyke (which I say, for me, is different from being a lesbian because I find the identity more inclusive than lesbian) that I obviously just want a dick/penis because I like penetrative sex. Fun times, fun times.
03/20/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Terms like homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, etc. are meant to describe tendencies. They're not laws a person has to live by. The labels are descriptive, but they're not restrictive rules.
03/26/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
I agree with Eden C. I am a lesbian, but I am perfectly happy with my boyfriend - penis and all! We joke and say he's my 0.01% . I think the fact that I identify as lesbian and yet would rather be with him than a girl has brought us even closer ^_^
03/27/2011
KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I'm going to speak for the straight population here: You should love according to what makes you happy. I've heard of men who are gay that fall in love with a woman because of the woman, not because of her vagina, and they aren't ...
wonderful answer
03/28/2011
Amy Snookum Amy Snookum
Agree with BBW Talks Toys ! Exactly!
03/28/2011
Curves Curves
sexuality is really complicated. it really shouldn't matter. whatever people want to do, is what they want to do. as long as they're not hurting anyone.
04/06/2011
Total posts: 70
Unique posters: 65