Help. Is Transitioning really worth it?

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Help. Is Transitioning really worth it?

ectoBiologist ectoBiologist
I hate my body, don't get me wrong I want nothing more than to be a male. But is it worth loosing family and friends over, and expensive surgeries and society looking at you like you're a freak? I'm scared to say I want to transition, maybe I can just suppress the disphoria?
03/01/2012
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MasonM MasonM
Quote:
Originally posted by ectoBiologist
I hate my body, don't get me wrong I want nothing more than to be a male. But is it worth loosing family and friends over, and expensive surgeries and society looking at you like you're a freak? I'm scared to say I want to transition, ...
I'm almost thirty now and lived as a woman for all those past years. I only started to actually consider transitioning recently. Even now I haven't told my parents and siblings, nor am I planning to.

However, so long as I can pass as male in public, I think I'll be okay with that.

And, despite all that...I've never felt less depression than when I put my binder on, went out for a day and passed as a male.
03/01/2012
butts butts
Suppressing feelings will only cause them to get worse, and come out in harsher forms later. There's a lot of rescorces out there to help your family and friends understand what you're going through, and if they love you, they'll accept you, if not right away, with a little help understanding. Transsexuality is becoming more widely accepted, as the media recently seems to love doing specials on transgendered folk and more and more people are speaking out for education on the subject. Most people I've met have no problem with it, and the few who don't understand just need a little help, there were a few who were not accepting, but they had other problems and weren't worth my time. You are not a freak, and people who love you will not look at you as a freak. If transitioning will make you happy and comfortable in your own skin, then YES, it is, by far worth it, despite it's difficulties.
03/02/2012
Chirple Chirple
I would recommend talking to a therapist. If you want to medically transition, that's the first step you must take - but they can also help you find out if that's what you need at all.

There is no right answer. Some transgender people live "non-op" as they feel this is the path that best suits them. You don't have to transition to prove something.

Some people find it's worth the time, money, pain, and problems with family and friends. You don't have to not transition just to please people.

I really think talking to a therapist is your best option right now. They can help you sort things out - and you need them to start the transition process if that's what you end up doing.
03/02/2012
Ohmonster Ohmonster
Quote:
Originally posted by ectoBiologist
I hate my body, don't get me wrong I want nothing more than to be a male. But is it worth loosing family and friends over, and expensive surgeries and society looking at you like you're a freak? I'm scared to say I want to transition, ...
For me, it is worth every bit of struggle, I can't say your dysphoric will compley disapear, for everyone it's different. But in my case there are more good days than bad ones. I am 10 months into my medical transition and for me, this was the best choice I made for myself. If you want to talk about this more please send me a message. There are people out there that feel just like you, who have gone through similar stories. And for the fact that you're reaching out for advice, is something to be proud of.
03/02/2012
GONE! GONE!
It really depends on what your end goal is and how strong your feelings are. For me, some aspects wouldn't be worth it so I'm not pursuing those.
03/02/2012
Sir Sir
To be fully honest, if you are choosing to not transition based on not wanting to "lose family and friends," then you probably should not transition as you're not at all ready for it.

Until you can do something for yourself, something that you need to do, then you cannot transition. Any therapist would tell you the same. It's not about your family, your friends, your colleagues, or anyone else but you. If anyone else comes into the picture, then transition is not the option for you right now.
03/02/2012
Pirate Pirate
it's worth everything. seems a big deal right now to transition, but in a dozen years, once your transitioned (or went over your dysphoria) it will seem like a tiny event of the past. It's not about others, it's about feeling comfortable with who you are. I was lucky enough not to lose any friend during the coming out process, but i had other difficulties along the way.
However, you have all your life to decide wether or not you want to transition. Don't do it too early, because if you go too fast, you might regret certain things later. Patience is the key.
03/06/2012
Interesante Interesante
I would definitely recommend talking to a therapist about your feelings, like some have said above.

And really... Obviously I don't know your circumstances, but I imagine your family and friends would be more accepting than you give them credit for. People are more and more open-minded these days.

Ultimately, you need to decide what will make you happy, though. You only get one life, after all, and above everything else, when it comes to decisions like this, you need to choose to do what will make you happiest.
03/07/2012
Lock Lock
You're the only one that can make this decision. However, for me, I didn't lose all my friends (or even a single one) because I managed not to surround myself with judgmental, bigoted, closed minded people in the first place. My family wasn't an issue for me, because none of us are close, and I couldn't care less what they think or have to say about it.

The one issue I have is being worried about how other people see me if they know, or if they suspect.
03/12/2012
lukas24 lukas24
I think usually family tends to come around or even be really accepting (they truly surprised me...). Friends too. Go slow, and talk to them. If people have questions explain yourself to them, although I would try to steer clear of cliches because I've noticed that people tend to fall back on stereotypes when you do so they don't see you as you do...not sure if that even made sense outside of my head...
03/14/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I think you are the only one who can answer this question for yourself.
03/14/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Talking to a therapist seems like the best first step. You have to find the spot where you're the most comfortable, whether that's just passing, like some have said, or finding some level of medical transition that makes you the most comfortable. There's no one size fits all solution. What works for one person won't work for everyone so it's important to find the place where you can be the happiest. Friends and family are only one consideration in the big picture. How important that consideration is to you is something only you can determine. Personally, I'm not trans, but living as who I am, which for me includes among other things, being gay, being out, and being a drag king (not quite the same challenge trans* folks face, but certainly not insignificant) is very important to me and I choose to be extremely open and out about everything because if someone loves me, they'll accept all the things about me. And as others have said, the people in your life may surprise you with how accepting they can be. With a little patience, many of even the most reluctant people come around. It seems like more and more people are realizing that saving relationships with people you love is more important than anything about them you might not understand or agree with.
03/14/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 13