Not trans enough?

LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
I just want someone to explain what makes someone transgender?

I am sick of people telling me I'm not trans because I don't hate my body and cry every other day about it. I am a man with a slightly different body - it doesn't mean I'm gonna whinge about it all the time, I'm just gonna be patient and see where the wind takes me.

Cis people always say that I am no less a man because my body is different, and yet transgender people are always saying I'm not trans therefore not a man. I AM A MAN. What is it exactly that doesn't make me transgender?
01/29/2013
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Ansley Ansley
I'm cis so I'm not really sure if I can comment on this, but I guess I've always understood that dysphoria was a huge part of the issue.

Though, I do have to admit something. I've always wondered if there were any trans* people who were only mildly displeased with their bodies and took into consideration all of the avenues available to them to correct it and just decided to present as a male or female without going through hormones and surgery and just being okay. It sounds like you fall into this line of thinking and I'm interested in hearing more on the subject.

I will say this - I'm not feminist enough, because I don't hate men. I'm not succesful enough because I'm not juggling a career, a marriage and kids (just juggling marriage and career). I'm not a lot of things enough. I think when people champion for a cause they feel really put out when people disagree with how "committed" a person is. Does that make sense? (Not that you can really compare these things, but it's the closest I got.)
01/29/2013
LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I'm cis so I'm not really sure if I can comment on this, but I guess I've always understood that dysphoria was a huge part of the issue.

Though, I do have to admit something. I've always wondered if there were any trans* ... More
They're very good comparisons

I just think that even though I don't have the body I desire, that does not mean that I should cry about it and whinge all the time. Presenting and passing as male is good enough - it's better than before when I was confused and miserable all the time. It sucks that I have to wear a binder & I would love top surgery but these minor issues are way better than having to present as female. It's like people force themselves to be miserable because they're transgender.

If you look at Skylarkeleven on Youtube - he is a massive influence on the ftM community and does he complain constantly? No. He's rolling with life and enjoying the journey sorry for the rant haha people wind me up.
01/29/2013
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by LoganAshlee.
They're very good comparisons

I just think that even though I don't have the body I desire, that does not mean that I should cry about it and whinge all the time. Presenting and passing as male is good enough - it's better than ... More
Well, I think what a lot of people fail to understand is that just because you go through with surgery does not mean you're going to wake up in the recovery room and suddenly be this person you always hoped you'd be.

Even with plastic surgery patients, it's never enough. There's always something to change, something to improve, something that didn't come out just right.

It's a maddening cycle. I've read studies saying that there is a hefty percentage of post-op trans* folks who regret the decision to have surgery because even though the parts are right doesn't mean the mind is. A percentage of these people then decide to take their life because it still doesn't line up for them.

I can't imagine what that feels like and I hope and pray that there's some awesome evolutionary change in the human species that makes what every trans* person is going through worth it in the end.

(I also think that mental illnesses like despression and bi-polar are responses to environment, but could also be a stepping stone in our line of evolution. I read a study the other day that said we're making leaps and bounds at astronomical rates, more so than any other species in documented history.)
01/29/2013
GONE! GONE!
Agreed with everything said. Just because there are avenues available for surgeries doesn't mean a person has the money or good health to do it. Not to mention not everyone thinks the results are that good yet. I'm putting off bottom surgery myself until transplantation becomes available.
I am soooo tired of the attitude in the ftm community that you have to suffer 100% of the time to be transgender at all.
01/29/2013
bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by LoganAshlee.
I just want someone to explain what makes someone transgender?

I am sick of people telling me I'm not trans because I don't hate my body and cry every other day about it. I am a man with a slightly different body - it doesn't mean ... More
Unfortunately, people act out of their own pain. We get a lot of shit out there in the world, and it's hard to keep from dumping on our own.

If it means anything, we like you for who you are and whatever you want to be is fine by me.
01/29/2013
ihavemagicpants ihavemagicpants
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I'm cis so I'm not really sure if I can comment on this, but I guess I've always understood that dysphoria was a huge part of the issue.

Though, I do have to admit something. I've always wondered if there were any trans* ... More
i like your view point on this.
it is mentally what people are and sadly that comes across as how society sees us so unfortunately a huge part of being transgender means people go through things like hormones, packing and binding, wearing fake breasts, etc.
01/30/2013
needapacker needapacker
Quote:
Originally posted by LoganAshlee.
I just want someone to explain what makes someone transgender?

I am sick of people telling me I'm not trans because I don't hate my body and cry every other day about it. I am a man with a slightly different body - it doesn't mean ... More
Dysphoria. Literally thats it.
It you have dysphoria relating to your primary and secondary sex characteristics then you are trans. If you don't, you're not trans. You don't have to necessarily hate your body, you just have to have dysphoria.
I don't know your story, but in general, there's no such thing as trans enough. You're either trans or you're not.
01/31/2013
ihavemagicpants ihavemagicpants
Quote:
Originally posted by needapacker
Dysphoria. Literally thats it.
It you have dysphoria relating to your primary and secondary sex characteristics then you are trans. If you don't, you're not trans. You don't have to necessarily hate your body, you just have to have ... More
very well put
02/01/2013
Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by LoganAshlee.
I just want someone to explain what makes someone transgender?

I am sick of people telling me I'm not trans because I don't hate my body and cry every other day about it. I am a man with a slightly different body - it doesn't mean ... More
Hoestly dress how you feel. There is no "Being trans enough" that ticks me off too -__- I am sorry man :/ People think they know it all.
02/03/2013
LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
Yeah the dysphoria part is very well put. I think there is so much negativity surrounding dysphoria that noone is stopping to think that - for example - now that I am presenting as the man that I feel inside, that a lot of the resentment to my mismatched body has gone. I guess I'm just more optimistic than others though. I know a lot of people struggle like crazy but I think once you start passing as your gender, that's when you should be happy and feel alive. Not when you've had surgery.
02/05/2013
Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by LoganAshlee.
Yeah the dysphoria part is very well put. I think there is so much negativity surrounding dysphoria that noone is stopping to think that - for example - now that I am presenting as the man that I feel inside, that a lot of the resentment to my ... More
Well, Logan... I read your profile. (I am not a creeper)... But I also read your age. You are young, me for one it took a long time to come to terms that I am a woman stuck in a s****y males body. And traveling down a road like this... well it's never easy. The best way I can describe it is "Going off road at night with your headlights off."

It wont get easier. Me I am only 22 and STILL struggling.

I have come to terms with the fact that I just wish to remain a male who dresses as a female. I may have some feminization surgery. However I COULD change my mind.

So it's a little hard to understand what you are saying here. (just woke up and espresso has not kicked in yet...) BUT! I would suggest due to your age not to think of getting surgery JUST yet. Come to terms with who you are and what you want.
Because in all honesty sex changes are like tattoos, they kind of stick with you through life.

Once you have thought about it, and come to terms with your actual identity and what you want and wont regret down the road, then go ahead and do what makes you happiest
02/06/2013
Mediumsizedman Mediumsizedman
Quote:
Originally posted by needapacker
Dysphoria. Literally thats it.
It you have dysphoria relating to your primary and secondary sex characteristics then you are trans. If you don't, you're not trans. You don't have to necessarily hate your body, you just have to have ... More
This.
02/06/2013
Mediumsizedman Mediumsizedman
Quote:
Originally posted by Pink Kitty
Well, Logan... I read your profile. (I am not a creeper)... But I also read your age. You are young, me for one it took a long time to come to terms that I am a woman stuck in a s****y males body. And traveling down a road like this... well it's ... More
Just because you are young and not sure of what you want doesn't mean other young people aren't sure, which is what you are implying in your post.
02/06/2013
TransMarc TransMarc
Hey, don't worry about that. You, you alone, know who you are.
Even if you don't know exactly who you are, let them mind their own business unless you ask their advices, because you are the one to know the best who you are. Even your parents and best friends, even people who lived stuffs really similar to you, can't know everything about you, much less how you feel. Take cis people, even if they don't experience things the same way, they can still identify as women and men if they want. Even if they do experience something similar to dysphoria regarding their bodies.
Though, maybe you do feel dysphoria and keep it locked up (I don't think so or you would have said so, but maybe others reading this do.) I do from time to time, it makes it way easier to go through life. In this case, well it's the same anyway except these people might make it come back in full force which will be hard. When it comes back to me, it's worse than when I was "happily" ignoring it and just focusing on stuffs.
02/06/2013
tiniest bird tiniest bird
Quote:
Originally posted by LoganAshlee.
I just want someone to explain what makes someone transgender?

I am sick of people telling me I'm not trans because I don't hate my body and cry every other day about it. I am a man with a slightly different body - it doesn't mean ... More
I think a lot of trans people have internalized these messages about what being trans has to be - hating your body, making you suicidal, etc. - and since it is what was expected of them, they think it should apply to everyone.

An analogy (perhaps not the best, but it's what I have to work with) is depression. I have depression. Sometimes it leaves me an utter mess, to the point where anyone could tell there's something wrong with me. Now that I'm managing it properly, it's far less obvious and makes far less impact on my day-to-day life, but I still have it. Similarly, regardless of how obvious my dysphoria is or how much it's impacting me on a particular day, it's still there.

I hope that helps?
02/14/2013
LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
Thank you all for your responses. They all definitely help I think I'm just genderfluid, but I'm definitely mainly a guy
02/18/2013
butts butts
saying you're not trans enough is just as gross as "you're not enough of a lady/man", it's very closed minded!
03/08/2013
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 11