I have not read the books yet, but I have a feeling that the reason why everyone in the BDSM community has gotten so annoyed with them is that vanilla people are reading them with them with the thought that they are how BDSM is, when it simply isn't the case. However, in my opinion, live and let live. If ignorant people who are vanilla want to think that way, then that's their business to do so. As long as they keep their nose out of my life, I'm fine keeping mine out of theirs.
And on that note, I hope that BDSM becomes more accepted.