have you ever been in a relationship where the guy wanted kids and you didn't want any?

kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
I want to see if this happens much and please share what happened in the end.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes
kinky girlfriend , PussyGalore , Xavier7 , null , Angel deSanguine , IndependentlyHappy , Taylor , DustBunny , BadassFatass , buzz , Chilipepper
11  (33%)
No
DeliciousSurprise , SexyTabby , liilii080 , Morganna , sbon , Miss T , Coralbell , Darling Jen , *HisMrs* , Shellz31 , staceejaxxx , toxie m , Lio , dv8
14  (42%)
Other(explain)
Tori Rebel , Airen Wolf , PassionQT , RomeroB , ~LaUr3n~ , potstickers , darthkitt3n , onehotmomma
8  (24%)
Total votes: 33
Poll is closed
01/24/2011
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kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I want to see if this happens much and please share what happened in the end.
I'm in a relationship right now my boyfriend wants 2 kids and he knows I don't want any he said he picked that up soon after he met me but he says I'm loveable we have been together 4 years...but I guess I worry about the future because I know he would always want kids. I cannot do it with my severe ibs and not being able to work much...the thought of being pregnant is scary to me and I never want to go there. I would end up looking like a bad mother my boyfriend doing all the work and me doing none because its a job in itself to take care of my ass everyday. ALso my illness would be xposed other people would find out and judge me or say i'm lying,gossip or say I'm exaggerating and want to give me advice and want to talk about it which I REALLY don't want to do...I know this will happen even my relatives judge and gossip about it saying its bullshit and such I can't travel on holidays to see them it hurts me.
01/24/2011
liilii080 liilii080
Originally we both were n the fence about kids (and marriage) but once we saw how well we clicked together and what our lives could be we started talking about both and have decided that we really do want both marriage and kids.
01/24/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I'm in a relationship right now my boyfriend wants 2 kids and he knows I don't want any he said he picked that up soon after he met me but he says I'm loveable we have been together 4 years...but I guess I worry about the future because I ... More
Pardon me for prying, but I see that most of your comments revolve around IBS. Have you considered joining a support group of some kind? There are thousands of people with this particular problem who lead somewhat normal lives and I think it would be beneficial to you if you sought some sort of safe place for you to talk about this. Come to terms with it a little bit better.


My mother has severe IBS. She takes Elavil to control it and Xanax to deal with her anxiety about it. Maybe this is something you should discuss with a doctor?
01/24/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
My boyfriend is very much on the fence on the topic and threw the ball into my court. If I wanted a baby, he'd be thrilled, and would undergo all the not-so-fun medical procedures for men that want babies after they've had a vasectomy. But if I didn't, it was ok too since he's already got four. I'm not thrilled at the idea of being a biological parent for a number of reasons, so I'm happy to just step-parent his kids. Also, he's already 42 so by the time that we had a baby (if we could - it gets trickier post-vas.), he'd be close to 45 and would be 65 by the time they were off to college, while I'd be 50 or 51. This would mean my 'golden years' with him would be pretty much non-existent. I'd simply rather finish raising his kids with him and then claim our life together as just our own.
01/24/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
I was with one person who wanted children - who, probably not so ironically, already had two children he wasn't taking care of - I dumped him. He knocked up a pole dancer shortly thereafter, left her. Got another chick pregnant and left her. So glad I never agreed to to that with him

In my current relationship we do not want children but are also leary of the side effects of a vasectomy (does the cum still look the same, blah blah)...so eh yeah no kids for us.
01/24/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Pardon me for prying, but I see that most of your comments revolve around IBS. Have you considered joining a support group of some kind? There are thousands of people with this particular problem who lead somewhat normal lives and I think it would be ... More
On that note, my ex-husband was a GI professional (hospital procedural tech and tech for private practice) and the physicians he worked with at the time successfully prescribed a lot of Lotronex for female patients.
01/24/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
I was with one person who wanted children - who, probably not so ironically, already had two children he wasn't taking care of - I dumped him. He knocked up a pole dancer shortly thereafter, left her. Got another chick pregnant and left her. So ... More
My bf has already had a vasectomy so if you have any questions about the effects, feel free to PM me! The cum does still look the same
01/24/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Pardon me for prying, but I see that most of your comments revolve around IBS. Have you considered joining a support group of some kind? There are thousands of people with this particular problem who lead somewhat normal lives and I think it would be ... More
well I am a member of a site but at one time they banned me then let me back on the site ever since then even after making a new account I can't login...anyway I thought I should mention its a big factor why I don't want kids but maybe anytime its an important factor for me I should just keep it to myself? ya I've seen doctors prescriptions never helped as I'm sensitive to medication since getting ibs they always just made my symptoms flare more
01/24/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
well I am a member of a site but at one time they banned me then let me back on the site ever since then even after making a new account I can't login...anyway I thought I should mention its a big factor why I don't want kids but maybe ... More
Oh no no no, I never meant to imply you should keep it to yourself. I was just wondering if you were receiving help and support. I have recently developed a manageable case of it myself. There's just more to you than IBS and I feel like that's all I really know about you and I want you to shine and not live in this bubble of self-doubt and fear over this.
01/24/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I want to see if this happens much and please share what happened in the end.
I am currently in a relationship where my partner might want more children but my other partner and I are fairly sure we are through. We are both in our 40s and he is in his middle 20s. We are open about our thoughts and we are all aware that if he wants more children and I am unable or unwilling then there are alternatives. I have three healthy, happy kids (2 girls and a boy) so we'll see.
01/24/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I'm in a relationship right now my boyfriend wants 2 kids and he knows I don't want any he said he picked that up soon after he met me but he says I'm loveable we have been together 4 years...but I guess I worry about the future because I ... More
Oh Honey there is no reason unless you want to be silly that you HAVE to have kids! With severe IBS it would be MISERABLE! There are alternatives to everything...surogacy, adoption, fostering, IVF with surogacy and some of them are available even for low income households.
Tell your relatives to mind their own business and leave you alone. Unless one of them is willing to volunteer their womb to you for rent then it's YOUR decision when and IF you use your own.

You aren't alone though, we have a mistaken impression in our society that being blood relatives means you can say and do the nastiest mean things and it's ok cause you love the person...IT'S NOT OK. If you wouldn't tell a total stranger what to do with their reproductive organs then you shouldn't tell your relatives.

I know where you are right now and it really doesn't stop hurting but in time you can think more rationally and learn to protect yourself...cause your family isn't going to volunteer to do it for you.
01/24/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
My bf has already had a vasectomy so if you have any questions about the effects, feel free to PM me! The cum does still look the same
Looks, tastes, feels the same No difference except there are no swimmers.
01/24/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Oh no no no, I never meant to imply you should keep it to yourself. I was just wondering if you were receiving help and support. I have recently developed a manageable case of it myself. There's just more to you than IBS and I feel like ... More
ya the problem has gotten so bad it is me even wakes me up at night...I get so tired of eating a very strick diet and then I'm still like how much of this should I eat or is this ok will this bother my stomach today kind of thing. I guess it also hurts me knowing I will suffer even if I have the occasional piece of pizza or slice of cake or even anything besides water,rice milk,or fennel tea so I indulge a little and suffer..

Even multivitamins can bother my ibs right now there is one I wish to try just scared to...I've been purchasing an expensive probiotic but quit taking it I got a bad cold and becaue of closing early/holidays for a while I lost too much money so I have to wait about a month to buy those things now.

SO on eden i'm just letting my points stack up forever then someday get a huge order,well maybe not that huge...
01/24/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Oh Honey there is no reason unless you want to be silly that you HAVE to have kids! With severe IBS it would be MISERABLE! There are alternatives to everything...surogacy, adoption, fostering, IVF with surogacy and some of them are available even for ... More
no my relatives don't say anything about kids they talk about my ibs...they don't talk to me in person but they gossip and say its bullshit I can't travel and see them on holidays but I can go to work. THe reason I can even go to work is becaus I go at 5pm-11pm sometims I'm even a few minutes late then for work,even if I'm in the bathroom anywhere from 3-15 minutse at a time it goes on all day. When my dad travels to go to holidays its a time of day my ibs is raging I can't stand a car ride...
01/24/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I am currently in a relationship where my partner might want more children but my other partner and I are fairly sure we are through. We are both in our 40s and he is in his middle 20s. We are open about our thoughts and we are all aware that if he ... More
what do you mean you have 2 boyfriends? what do you mean unable or unwilling wat will he do knock up some chick or somethin? I don't even make 1,000 a month..IF some miracle were to happen like my ibs was gone forever then MAYBE I'd think of 1 kid a big maybe too...
01/24/2011
Illusional Illusional
I've had plenty of boyfriends who want kids, but eff them.
It's my body, my time.'
I've told them I'm not ready and if they try to force it, they'll get hurt.
I'm sensitive and submissive to most of what a man wants, but bringing a child into an unfit place and time is NOT going to happen.
I will not involve others.
01/24/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Oh no no no, I never meant to imply you should keep it to yourself. I was just wondering if you were receiving help and support. I have recently developed a manageable case of it myself. There's just more to you than IBS and I feel like ... More
Indeed. I really wanna get to know you more, Kinky Girlfriend. You seem to fret and worry alot and you don't seem so happy. EF's supportive as can be, but I want you to have fun and kinda get to know you.
01/24/2011
null null
Yes, and although it was normally ok, every time he would drink, he'd sob to me that he wanted children and make me feel like I was a bad person because I didn't. So glad that's over.
01/24/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
ya the problem has gotten so bad it is me even wakes me up at night...I get so tired of eating a very strick diet and then I'm still like how much of this should I eat or is this ok will this bother my stomach today kind of thing. I guess it also ... More
Oh I know how you feel, really. I get up at 5, 6, 7, and then again at 9. If I had to work, I'd constantly be reprimanded.


I do know that IBS gets worse with the amount of stress you tack onto it and if there is anything we can do to help you relax and not focus so much on your pain and discomfort just let us know. *hugs*
01/24/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by null
Yes, and although it was normally ok, every time he would drink, he'd sob to me that he wanted children and make me feel like I was a bad person because I didn't. So glad that's over.
Don't you just hate that shit? I used to be in a relationship with someone who was all about me and our lesbian experiences with the first drink, the second, third and fourth but when she hit the fifth we were scraping her off the walls. Psycho. Absolutely psycho.
01/24/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
ya the problem has gotten so bad it is me even wakes me up at night...I get so tired of eating a very strick diet and then I'm still like how much of this should I eat or is this ok will this bother my stomach today kind of thing. I guess it also ... More
Whatcha gonna get?
01/24/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
what do you mean you have 2 boyfriends? what do you mean unable or unwilling wat will he do knock up some chick or somethin? I don't even make 1,000 a month..IF some miracle were to happen like my ibs was gone forever then MAYBE I'd think of ... More
Are you absolutely sure this is IBS and not a gluten allergy?
01/24/2011
PassionQT PassionQT
I was married to a guy who told me he wanted kids, then he turned around and said if I got pregnant when he wasn't ready, that I would have to get an abortion. I don't think anyone is ever 100% ready for the responsibility of raising a child! Needless to say, I divorced him. He was selfish and wanted all the attention.
01/24/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Are you absolutely sure this is IBS and not a gluten allergy?
yes because when I took gluten out it was still the same...I will just have to be more firm with myself I wish there was someone to slap my hand and take it away everytime I eyeballed a frapee (not sure how u spell it the ones mcdonalds has) (which has no caffine but dairy,chocolate and artificial flavors)or red meat...
01/24/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Whatcha gonna get?
what do u mean stuff off eden?
01/24/2011
Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
Are you absolutely sure this is IBS and not a gluten allergy?
That is what I was wondering. Over half the women that are diagnosed with IBS actually have a gluten allergy or celiac disease (they are different and often confused.) This happens because they manifest in the same way- bloating, diarrhea and/ or constipation, pain ranging from moderate to very severe, cramping- all the miserable stuff that really destroys your quality of life.

From the things you've said you're able to eat, Kinky Girlfriend, I would seriously consider going GF and keeping a strict food log for a month or two and see if that doesn't help dramatically. If it does help, even a little, it would be worth it. Then you can start introducing things like GF pizza and things into your diet and begin feel human again instead of ruled by your body.

I feel for you because right now I know how you feel and it's truly miserable. You will not see immediate change when switching to GF, it does take time, but I would really consider it. Gluten is hidden in a lot of things- even some beef products!- and really in convenience foods so if it's prepackaged it's got to say GF or you could still be ingesting gluten. *hugs*
01/24/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Angel deSanguine
That is what I was wondering. Over half the women that are diagnosed with IBS actually have a gluten allergy or celiac disease (they are different and often confused.) This happens because they manifest in the same way- bloating, diarrhea and/ or ... More
no I can't have pizza no matter what because since I got ibs I can't have dairy its a trigger and so is soy..my mom also has ibs she gets dirreah and nasea because she refuses to change her diet..she drinks coffee,smokes,drinks beer eats what she wants she gets dirreah attacks everyday..mostly every morning about 6 times then she goes about her day as usual mine is worse..but enough of that I think I will stop talking about this now
01/24/2011
Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I want to see if this happens much and please share what happened in the end.
Yes, this did happen with both my ex-husband and several partners. I have always been transparent about not wanting children (or with my ex-husband, more than the one that he had with an ex) and they would seem ok with it, say they were ok with it and then things would change. I've only had one very brief stint in my life that I've thought I wanted kids but it passed in a month's time and I was glad I didn't do anything rash.
01/24/2011
Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
no I can't have pizza no matter what because since I got ibs I can't have dairy its a trigger and so is soy..my mom also has ibs she gets dirreah and nasea because she refuses to change her diet..she drinks coffee,smokes,drinks beer eats what ... More
Sorry, I didn't see your reply to Audra until I had already posted. I think you were typing at the same time I was.

We are just trying to help because you seem sweet and don't want to see you so miserable. I will drop it but if you need anything feel free to shoot me a message, ok?
01/24/2011
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