have you ever been in a relationship where the guy wanted kids and you didn't want any?

I'm in a relationship right now my boyfriend wants 2 kids and he knows I don't want any he said he picked that up soon after he met me but he says I'm loveable we have been together 4 years...but I guess I worry about the future because I know he would always want kids. I cannot do it with my severe ibs and not being able to work much...the thought of being pregnant is scary to me and I never want to go there. I would end up looking like a bad mother my boyfriend doing all the work and me doing none because its a job in itself to take care of my ass everyday. ALso my illness would be xposed other people would find out and judge me or say i'm lying,gossip or say I'm exaggerating and want to give me advice and want to talk about it which I REALLY don't want to do...I know this will happen even my relatives judge and gossip about it saying its bullshit and such I can't travel on holidays to see them it hurts me. less

Pardon me for prying, but I see that most of your comments revolve around IBS. Have you considered joining a support group of some kind? There are thousands of people with this particular problem who lead somewhat normal lives and I think it would be beneficial to you if you sought some sort of safe place for you to talk about this. Come to terms with it a little bit better.


My mother has severe IBS. She takes Elavil to control it and Xanax to deal with her anxiety about it. Maybe this is something you should discuss with a doctor? less

I was with one person who wanted children - who, probably not so ironically, already had two children he wasn't taking care of - I dumped him. He knocked up a pole dancer shortly thereafter, left her. Got another chick pregnant and left her. So glad I never agreed to to that with him

In my current relationship we do not want children but are also leary of the side effects of a vasectomy (does the cum still look the same, blah blah)...so eh yeah no kids for us. less

Pardon me for prying, but I see that most of your comments revolve around IBS. Have you considered joining a support group of some kind? There are thousands of people with this particular problem who lead somewhat normal lives and I think it would be beneficial to you if you sought some sort of safe place for you to talk about this. Come to terms with it a little bit better.


My mother has severe IBS. She takes Elavil to control it and Xanax to deal with her anxiety about it. Maybe this is something you should discuss with a doctor? less

well I am a member of a site but at one time they banned me then let me back on the site ever since then even after making a new account I can't login...anyway I thought I should mention its a big factor why I don't want kids but maybe anytime its an important factor for me I should just keep it to myself? ya I've seen doctors prescriptions never helped as I'm sensitive to medication since getting ibs they always just made my symptoms flare more less

Oh no no no, I never meant to imply you should keep it to yourself. I was just wondering if you were receiving help and support. I have recently developed a manageable case of it myself. There's just more to you than IBS and I feel like that's all I really know about you and I want you to shine and not live in this bubble of self-doubt and fear over this. less

Oh Honey there is no reason unless you want to be silly that you HAVE to have kids! With severe IBS it would be MISERABLE! There are alternatives to everything...surogacy, adoption, fostering, IVF with surogacy and some of them are available even for low income households.
Tell your relatives to mind their own business and leave you alone. Unless one of them is willing to volunteer their womb to you for rent then it's YOUR decision when and IF you use your own.

You aren't alone though, we have a mistaken impression in our society that being blood relatives means you can say and do the nastiest mean things and it's ok cause you love the person...IT'S NOT OK. If you wouldn't tell a total stranger what to do with their reproductive organs then you shouldn't tell your relatives.

I know where you are right now and it really doesn't stop hurting but in time you can think more rationally and learn to protect yourself...cause your family isn't going to volunteer to do it for you. less

I am currently in a relationship where my partner might want more children but my other partner and I are fairly sure we are through. We are both in our 40s and he is in his middle 20s. We are open about our thoughts and we are all aware that if he wants more children and I am unable or unwilling then there are alternatives. I have three healthy, happy kids (2 girls and a boy) so we'll see. less

Oh no no no, I never meant to imply you should keep it to yourself. I was just wondering if you were receiving help and support. I have recently developed a manageable case of it myself. There's just more to you than IBS and I feel like that's all I really know about you and I want you to shine and not live in this bubble of self-doubt and fear over this. less

ya the problem has gotten so bad it is me even wakes me up at night...I get so tired of eating a very strick diet and then I'm still like how much of this should I eat or is this ok will this bother my stomach today kind of thing. I guess it also hurts me knowing I will suffer even if I have the occasional piece of pizza or slice of cake or even anything besides water,rice milk,or fennel tea so I indulge a little and suffer..

Even multivitamins can bother my ibs right now there is one I wish to try just scared to...I've been purchasing an expensive probiotic but quit taking it I got a bad cold and becaue of closing early/holidays for a while I lost too much money so I have to wait about a month to buy those things now.

SO on eden i'm just letting my points stack up forever then someday get a huge order,well maybe not that huge... less

ya the problem has gotten so bad it is me even wakes me up at night...I get so tired of eating a very strick diet and then I'm still like how much of this should I eat or is this ok will this bother my stomach today kind of thing. I guess it also hurts me knowing I will suffer even if I have the occasional piece of pizza or slice of cake or even anything besides water,rice milk,or fennel tea so I indulge a little and suffer..

Even multivitamins can bother my ibs right now there is one I wish to try just scared to...I've been purchasing an expensive probiotic but quit taking it I got a bad cold and becaue of closing early/holidays for a while I lost too much money so I have to wait about a month to buy those things now.

SO on eden i'm just letting my points stack up forever then someday get a huge order,well maybe not that huge... less

what do you mean you have 2 boyfriends? what do you mean unable or unwilling wat will he do knock up some chick or somethin? I don't even make 1,000 a month..IF some miracle were to happen like my ibs was gone forever then MAYBE I'd think of 1 kid a big maybe too... less

That is what I was wondering. Over half the women that are diagnosed with IBS actually have a gluten allergy or celiac disease (they are different and often confused.) This happens because they manifest in the same way- bloating, diarrhea and/ or constipation, pain ranging from moderate to very severe, cramping- all the miserable stuff that really destroys your quality of life.

From the things you've said you're able to eat, Kinky Girlfriend, I would seriously consider going GF and keeping a strict food log for a month or two and see if that doesn't help dramatically. If it does help, even a little, it would be worth it. Then you can start introducing things like GF pizza and things into your diet and begin feel human again instead of ruled by your body.

I feel for you because right now I know how you feel and it's truly miserable. You will not see immediate change when switching to GF, it does take time, but I would really consider it. Gluten is hidden in a lot of things- even some beef products!- and really in convenience foods so if it's prepackaged it's got to say GF or you could still be ingesting gluten. *hugs* less

no I can't have pizza no matter what because since I got ibs I can't have dairy its a trigger and so is soy..my mom also has ibs she gets dirreah and nasea because she refuses to change her diet..she drinks coffee,smokes,drinks beer eats what she wants she gets dirreah attacks everyday..mostly every morning about 6 times then she goes about her day as usual mine is worse..but enough of that I think I will stop talking about this now less