An Insomniac's Rant

FantasyFanatic FantasyFanatic
I have chronic insomnia. Some people discredit this as being a debilitating illness, or even an illness at all. They don't understand that I am physically unable to fall asleep. The average person is awake for 16 hours in a day, and when they go to bed, are able to fall asleep within an hour. I have SOMETHING wrong with me that doesn't allow that happen. Some chemical imbalance or mental trigger that keeps me from entering that state. The doctors have ran test and tell me there's nothing wrong, throw some pills at me, and send me on my way... Even they don't understand it... They don't WANT to understand it. Why would they when they can keep me coming back, filling their wallets in exchange for a false hope of a night of rest?
I hate not being able to count on a good nights sleep every night. It ruins plans, destroys my mood, and makes keeping up with my responsibilities way harder than it should be. It makes every day feel like a hungover morning.
And it's just getting worse... For the past 2 months, on average, I'm awake for roughly 36 hours before finally crashing from exhaustion, and then I only get about 12 hours of sleep. Which speaking in relative terms, is barely enough to give me the energy I need to get up and get things done.
If by some miracle I finally hear back from one of the countless jobs I've applied for, and I actually get it... how long before I crack from the pressure of working on little to no sleep? When I've been awake for so long, getting up and making food for myself stresses me out... And that's nothing compared to a round-the-clock job. But after all this time of searching, I absolutely could NOT quit. I don't want to spend another year or more to find another job. So what the hell do I do?
It's honestly starting to scare me a little... I can barely manage to keep myself functioning like a normal person.
Any possibility of me having a normal life is at stake if this keeps on going or gets any worse. It really sucks that the only thing I can do is try different medications, home remedies, ridiculous rituals (meditation, breathing exercises, etc) until I find something that works. It's so frustrating, feeling so helpless and not being able to find that one, perfect solution... It has to be out there, right? I hope so :/

If you read the whole thing, props, and thanks.
I'm just getting fed up with all of this, and needed to rant.
If you have any suggestions of what helps you sleep, leave a comment please? I'm willing to try anything at this point.
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Supervixen Supervixen
Hey, I hear you. I have bouts of insane insomnia that makes me barely functional for a stretch of time--and I can be absolutely exhausted, but NOT be able to fall asleep. It's frustrating and really unpleasant, to say the least.

With me, I have issues with anxiety, and am medicated for it. I have a hard time turning my mind off sometimes, and even when I do fall asleep when I'm going through one of my episodes, I usually have nightmares and wake up not feeling rested at all. It's psychological. Perhaps you'd benefit from seeing a counselor more than a doctor. And considering the emphasis you put on stress surrounding employment, that's likely a major source of anxiety that's keeping your mind from letting yourself fall asleep. Our emotional well being can really be a factor that messes with our physical well being, even when we aren't consciously thinking about it. It messes with my eating habit as well. When I'm upset, I cannot eat. I can be hungry and actually weak from lack of nutrition, but there's some block in my mind that does not want to allow me to eat when I'm upset like that. Nothing sounds appetizing, and often, I just get nauseous anyway.

So maybe you should talk to a counselor--it can do you a world of good, and even just talking to someone who is neutral and non-judgmental is all you need to get you on track. You've got to get to the source of the problem before you can even begin to understand how to solve it, right?
Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
I also have periods of insomnia, mainly when I'm really depressed. This summer, I was awake for days at a time. My fiance actually got mad at me one morning when he left for work and I was still awake. I would lay in bed for 8-10 hours a night, wide awake. It's definitely a problem for me since I'm also a student about to graduate. I'm having a hard time making it to all of my classes this semester. It sucks.
- Kira - - Kira -
I have insomnia as well. I take Melatonin and Xanax before bed which help me fall asleep in a decent amount of time. I still wake up every hour though so I never get any good "deep" sleep that helps me feel rested.

I had been going to acupuncture for my migraines and it was like a miracle. I saw that they also did it for insomnia. I've started doing treatments for that and have found I wake up less often. I'm just starting the treatments so hopefully after a few of them I'll be able to sleep like a normal person.

I end up napping a lot during the day. I'm so exhausted from lack of sleep and I can only seem to sleep during the day. Even then it's usually only for an hour which doesn't make up for the lack of sleep at night.

Working is really hard. Back when I worked I would pass out on my desk which was luckily separate from everyone else. I was always scared someone would realize I'd passed out and that I'd get fired.

Best of luck to you. I hope you find something that works.
js250 js250
I had to go to a sleep clinic and after testing, I was given a strict regimen that started at 3pm and lasted until the set bedtime. I eventually got retrained and was able to sleep again. Now my insomnia is only when stressed, sad, or otherwise emotionally off. I go back to the routines and it resolves itself within a week.

Good luck!! I remember the exhaustion, lack of energy and emotional and physical issues because of the lack of sleep. It is amazing how it affects every aspect of our lives.
Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
Good luck to you.
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6