Do you lose respect for people who don't care about their kids?

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Do you lose respect for people who don't care about their kids?

bayosgirl bayosgirl
I never thought it would bother me so much, but a co-worker occasionally mentions his child that he had with another woman before meeting his wife. He refers to her as "the child" or even "it" rather than her name. He admits that he's never even seen her, and he's been with his wife five years so she has to at least be that old. Lately I've been thinking about that and I find it deplorable that he has no interest in meeting his own child and refers to her like she's not a human being that HE created. I admit that it does make me think differently about him. Even though he's a good worker and a reliable employee, I can't respect him as much knowing that he doesn't care about his own child. My question is, how do you guys feel about a person like that? Am I overreacting or is it an understandable feeling?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I would definitely lose respect for someone who shows a lack of caring for their kid/s
72  (90%)
I wouldn't lose respect for that kind of person
I don't know/other
8  (10%)
Total votes: 80
Poll is closed
10/10/2012
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Cat E. Cat E.
Yes, I'd lose respect for someone like that and wouldn't have anything to do with them.
10/10/2012
js250 js250
That is disgusting behavior!!!! Sorry, but to me that person is trash--to not care about an innocent child? Much less his own?? Did that child ask for an insensitive, selfish ass to be her/his dad????
10/10/2012
Pixel Pixel
That sort of an attitude towards your own child would definitely change the way I think about someone.
10/10/2012
Lavendar Lavendar
yes
10/10/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Absolutely - job #1 is taking care of your children.
10/10/2012
sparksrebbecca sparksrebbecca
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I never thought it would bother me so much, but a co-worker occasionally mentions his child that he had with another woman before meeting his wife. He refers to her as "the child" or even "it" rather than her name. He admits that ...
Any person who could create a child and not constantly worry about their own flesh and blood, should be sterilized. People like that don't deserve to have miracles as precious as children.
10/10/2012
Sera26 Sera26
Wow, that is just terrible.
10/10/2012
Sodom and Gomorrah Sodom and Gomorrah
Wow what a jerk. I would lose any respect I had for him. That's not a a good man that's a BIG loser.
10/10/2012
thesquaredeific thesquaredeific
Yeah, I would.
10/10/2012
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
I most certainly would lose respect for people like that, some children can be a handful but that doesn't mean that they deserve to be treated like some kind of burden and cast aside. And considering that he says he's never even met his own daughter he can't really know what he's most likely missing out on.
Someday he'll probably regret missing her grow up and he'll deserve the pain of it.

People like that are the reason I'm so thankful to have the wonderful mother I do have.
10/10/2012
XxFallenAngelxX XxFallenAngelxX
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I never thought it would bother me so much, but a co-worker occasionally mentions his child that he had with another woman before meeting his wife. He refers to her as "the child" or even "it" rather than her name. He admits that ...
Just horrible!
10/10/2012
funluvinmama funluvinmama
I think it depends on how much you know about the situation.

If he knows about the kid and still refuses to be part, then yes I would lose respect.

However- There are women out there who will use a man to get pregnant but will refuse to let the man have anything to do with the child. In a situation like this no I wouldnt, because he had no choice. (sadly, I know a guy who had a girlfriend break up with him and move to another state a month after she found out she was pregnant. He has not seen the child, and she sent an email to tell him she was having his baby. worse yet- she expects child support each month.)
10/10/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
ICK!
10/10/2012
neil i. neil i.
I couldn't respect a person who didn't care about their children. It would actually make me suspicious of someone's mental health.
10/10/2012
MissCandyland MissCandyland
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Absolutely - job #1 is taking care of your children.
I agree 100%
10/10/2012
richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I never thought it would bother me so much, but a co-worker occasionally mentions his child that he had with another woman before meeting his wife. He refers to her as "the child" or even "it" rather than her name. He admits that ...
u r not over reacting
10/10/2012
LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
Yes I would. Same as I lose respect for a person who abuses their SO. You can't be a good person and act that way.
10/10/2012
Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
Yes, & i have lost respect for people like that.
10/10/2012
Allstars316 Allstars316
Yes I would too
10/10/2012
butts butts
That's disgusting. A child is a responsibility, if you can't take care of a kid, don't start that shit. Augh.
10/10/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Makes me sad. Hopefully though, the mother was able to find a good man to step up and be a good example in that child's life. It honestly sounds like the child is better off not having him in their lfie.
10/10/2012
Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I never thought it would bother me so much, but a co-worker occasionally mentions his child that he had with another woman before meeting his wife. He refers to her as "the child" or even "it" rather than her name. He admits that ...
totally understandable feeling.
10/10/2012
shorejen9 shorejen9
Anyone who doesn't take care of their child is deplorable to me. I understand he may have ill feelings toward the mother but its not the child's fault. Poor child.
10/10/2012
Ansley Ansley
There are always three sides to a story; I've known a fair amount of women who use their children as pawns and the reason the father is out of the child's life is because the mother makes it impossible for him to be around. I guess the child should pay for what the father did to the mother in the relationship. It's really sad and heartbreaking.

I'm really glad we had the women's lib movement and that we have the right to go to work and have a career, get an education, own property, make decisions about our bodies, but I can't help but think it really screwed up the family dynamic.

There used to be a time when a village raised a child, meaning extended family and respected community members had input in the child's life so if one key member was missing or had little to do with the child there was still a core group of people for the child to rely on and learn from. It's just not like that anymore and women waiting until they're in their late 30's to have children when grandpa and grandma can't be as active in the child's life doesn't help either.
10/10/2012
Feisty Feisty
Yes, I would lose respect.
10/10/2012
Sima-pusya Sima-pusya
I would definitely lose respect for someone who shows a lack of caring for their kid/s
10/10/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
It depends. My husband has a child from a previous relationship that he didn't see after he was one month old. The mother made our lives living hell and was pretty much batshit crazy. My husband has anger problems and started taking out his feelings on her with the son. He decided it was in everyone's best interest if he left everyone alone. A few years later he gave the child up for adoption to the step-dad. I don't think less of him for doing so. I think he made the right decision for the situation. Sometime people make mistakes and do the best they can under the circumstances. The "best they can" isn't always ideal.

Now, if someone has children that are in their custody and neglect them, that I have an issue with. I'd much rather see someone walk out of a child's life than be cruel to them. I speak from personal experience on this as the daughter of a man who took his hatred of my mother out on me after their divorce. It would have been so much better for me had he just disappeared.
10/10/2012
Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
Great question. I've been dealing with asituation like this for awhile now with my Wife's best friend's son. They recently split up, the dad is beyond anything you could imagine. Seriously, and this is no shit here, a few days after they called it quits he burst into the house late at night with a shotgun and threatend to kill them both if she didn't take him back. Right infront of there 6 year old son. So he went to jail, not for five years, ten years, nothing like that...he went to County for 8 months!
When he got out we were sure that he would never be alowed around his son without supervision. Nope, wrong again. The county gave him partial custody.
Since then this poor little boy has come back from his father's house banged up and bruised. He never really explains why, but of course it doesn't take a genius to see this. His probation officer has been notified a thousand times, Social services and the courts have all been alerted, and he still gets to see his son.
This is a very very very touchy subject for me. It sickens me to see someone treat a child like that because I was a victim of child abuse, and I can not stand to see that happen to a child. Plus, I have a son with another women and I have tried countless times to get joint custody, or to just be able to see him for an hour alone and can't get it done. The mother has used my son to hurt me time and time again.
The courts won't do anything because we were never married. It's just plain bonkers! I can't get my head around it and may never be able to.
A childs life is fragile. They need love and protection, not abuse and torment for the sake of revenge.
So to answer your question, hell yes I lose total respect for those people.
10/10/2012
Kitten has left the site Kitten has left the site
Yes. I will and have lose/lost respect for those who don't care for their children. It's actually one of the many reasons I can't seem to respect my own mother. Everytime I see my brother and sister, my sister is starting to treat ME like shit because of stuff my mother told her that apparently means I don't care for my sister, and my brother is skinny as hell. She don't cook, she lies to them. I feel like the bad guy and I'm the one trying to protect them. It's really stressing me out, and it's worsening the situation that happened months ago but my mother will not let me move on.

A child is fragile, and they are very impressionable. If you don't go and see your baby at all, that makes the child think ,"Hey...mama/daddy don't love me..." Who the hell let's a child think that? I'm sorry if I'm sounding rude, but if it's one thing I can't stand is ignoring a child. I'll even stand in the pouring rain by a child just to help them find their mother if I have to. Everyone in my town knows that.

So yeah, I'll lose respect for something like that. It makes you wonder what else they do too.
10/10/2012
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Total posts: 60
Unique posters: 58