Have you or are you in a complicated situation?

.kaycat .kaycat
Are you done with your husband or wife, but have no money for a divorce?
Is your ex still living with you,and you can't stand them every day?

It's not that we're stupid right? Or are we just making excuses?

I know I don't want to cut if off completely and I'd miss everything that I currently hate. Old habits and feelings die hard or don't die at all..
06/03/2013
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Chilipepper Chilipepper
When it came time to tell my ex-husband our marriage was over, I couldn't wait for him to get out. We had to wait a few days for his family to get him, though, but it was a relief when he left. I'm glad he was civil about it the whole time, but it didn't change my mind.

It had gotten to the point in which we were on roommate terms, anyway, so there was no convenience to it - neither of us were employed, our marriage was celibate, etc. It was finally time to admit that the marriage had never worked.

I was lucky that I had my family to take me in.
06/03/2013
.kaycat .kaycat
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
When it came time to tell my ex-husband our marriage was over, I couldn't wait for him to get out. We had to wait a few days for his family to get him, though, but it was a relief when he left. I'm glad he was civil about it the whole time, ... More
I guess marriage is different from a long term relationship, we live together he lives with me. And I can dream all I want of what I want but he isn't making the cut or even trying to be the one. There wasn't anything you missed ?
06/03/2013
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by .kaycat
I guess marriage is different from a long term relationship, we live together he lives with me. And I can dream all I want of what I want but he isn't making the cut or even trying to be the one. There wasn't anything you missed ?
My ex as my writing partner - I missed him more as that than as my husband. It took me ten years to finally admit to myself that the marriage was wrong, that we were not supposed to be together, that he was emotionally abusive.

What kept me was fear of being alone and losing my writing partner - and I took my vows seriously. It went from "this is the best I can do" to "I'm doing what I can to make this work, why won't he?" to "I have to live with my mistake". I almost jumped off a bridge because the relationship and our living situation were killing my soul.

It took me over a year to find my writer's voice again. I got my college degree. I dated more mature men. I'm engaged to be married to a responsible, respectful, emotionally-healthy man whom I want to have a child with.

I still don't regret cutting the millstone of my ex-husband from my neck. I almost killed myself over him. That angers me that such a loser made me want to end my life.

You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. All you have to do is know that you'll both be okay once you decide it's Over. It may be bumpy and a bit scary, but it's worth it to find your own voice again ... and then make your own life better on your terms.
06/03/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I've never done it for more than a week. I need the space from an ex to breathe and move on.
06/04/2013
js250 js250
My best friend and her husband did live as roommates for a few months after they split up. It was a very uncomfortable situation for everyone involved -they had a child- and it also did not give them the clean break needed to deal with the end of the relationship. With the 'ex' always around, she was always on eggshells and had to be more secretive about stupid things....not a good situation. But--everyone is different, so hopefully you guys can figure things out to best work for the two of you!
06/04/2013
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 4