Is it okay to have sex with a drunk girl?

Ansley Ansley
So it seems Dr. Phil has landed himself in a bit of hot water with his latest official tweet -- 'Is it okay to have sex with a drunk girl?' (hashtag #teensaccused). This was a ploy to engage people in discussion on whether or not someone who is intoxicated (to any degree) can rightfully and legally give consent for sexual activities.

Presumably, this is surrounding the case in Ohio where the girl was passed around like a rag doll and her "friends" did nothing to protect her.

Naturally, the internet's reaction was of disgust, hatred and various forms of internet bullying. So now I have to ask:

- Was Dr. Phil in the wrong for even asking the question?
- Can someone consent to sexual activity if they are intoxicated?

What say you, Edenites?
08/22/2013
  • Save 60% on Spooktacular Kits  - 3 item set
  • Wicked Treats - Save 60% on 3 Item Set

    • Eden leather blindfold
    • Flaming amour silicone pearl bunny
    • Eden's glass ben wa balls
    Save 60% on 3 Item Set

    Expires on Oct, 31 at 3am ET Terms

  • Ghost Bride - Save 60% on 3 Item Set

    • Casper
    • Leather strap rider
    • Simple Clamps
    Save 60% on 3 Item Set

    Expires on Oct, 31 at 3am ET Terms

  • Black Magic - Save 60% on 3 Item Set

    • Eden Beaded Clamps
    • Heart Silicone Beads
    • Onyx
    Black Magic - Save 60% on 3 Item Set

    Expires on Oct, 31 at 3am ET Terms

  • Better Price Sale - Save 70%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
So it seems Dr. Phil has landed himself in a bit of hot water with his latest official tweet -- 'Is it okay to have sex with a drunk girl?' (hashtag #teensaccused). This was a ploy to engage people in discussion on whether or not someone who ... More
I say that responsible people will understand that alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes rational thinking difficult. Consequences are the farthest thing from an intoxicated person's mind.
I also say teens should not be drinking for this reason among many.
I am loath to lay the blame on the other intoxicated party goers 100%. I am not blaming the victim but she was underage and drinking...she cannot in this society have NOT known that this is dangerous behavior and can lead to sexual inappropriateness all the way up to sexual assault. Did she deserve to be abused? NO, Hell no and nothing makes it ok. She shares some responsibility for being intoxicated underage, however. If she was stone cold sober then that's a different story.
I don't think Dr. Phil is wrong for asking the question because it NEEDS to be asked...and answered.

NO it is NOT ok to have sex with someone who is under the influence of any intoxicating substance, unless this was agreed upon BEFORE the drinking or smoking began. No means no, maybe means no and only a loud and clear YES means yes.
08/22/2013
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I say that responsible people will understand that alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes rational thinking difficult. Consequences are the farthest thing from an intoxicated person's mind.
I also say teens should not be drinking for this ... More
I concur, "NO it is NOT ok to have sex with someone who is under the influence of any intoxicating substance, unless this was agreed upon BEFORE the drinking or smoking began. No means no, maybe means no and only a loud and clear YES means yes." - Airen Wolf
08/22/2013
Sincerely Yours, N Sincerely Yours, N
I think that the world overreacted to Dr. Phil's post.

However, it is NOT okay to have sex with somebody intoxicated unless consent was obtained before the intoxication. Granted, the person shouldn't get so intoxicated that they pass out, but this doesn't excuse the rape.
08/22/2013
Happy Kupple Happy Kupple
On our first date many years ago we were both intoxicated and we had fantastic sex!!!!!! Hungover sex the next morning was even better. Come on now........never happened to anyone else????!!!!
08/23/2013
Tigrica Tigrica
Quote:
Originally posted by Happy Kupple
On our first date many years ago we were both intoxicated and we had fantastic sex!!!!!! Hungover sex the next morning was even better. Come on now........never happened to anyone else????!!!!
Both intoxicated is different from intentionally getting the other party drunk so that you can take advantage of them.
08/23/2013
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Tigrica
Both intoxicated is different from intentionally getting the other party drunk so that you can take advantage of them.
No, I think this pretty much applies across the board. There are a few cases where both parties where intoxicated and in the morning the girl cried rape due to her enormous burden of regret.
08/23/2013
Sincerely Yours, N Sincerely Yours, N
@Happy Kupple: As I said, it's different if the sex was consented to before the intoxication. That's fine.

@Tigrica: I fear that the male in that situation still has a risk of the woman crying rape. Plus, in my experience partying, a lot of males when drunk believe that things that aren't invitations are - I had a guy try make out with me at a party because I called him 'dear', and I call everyone dear. He got upset that I was 'leading him on' and then 'rejected him'.
08/23/2013
lildrummergrl693 lildrummergrl693
I am very upset that you would post this as if it was a matter of opinion! A person who is intoxicated cannot consent to sexual activity. This is a fact not a matter of discussion. I expect much better from Eden Fantasys! You should be helping to educate people, and working towards ending rape culture, not promoting a world where a person's ability to consent is a matter of debate! It leads to discussion that promote dangerous lies about rape. Such as the myths that "girls" are often "crying rape" after a night of drinking and regretful sex. You should be promoting accurate information about the facts of what it is like to disclose or report rape in this country. Only 46% of survivors report the crime because of many factors including the high rates of retaliation, isolation from peers, and lack of belief that the incident happened. Despite all of this the FBI estimates that less than 8% of reported cases are false reports. We should be having conversations that build up the survivor, and creates a world where it is easier to talk about these topics.
08/23/2013
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by lildrummergrl693
I am very upset that you would post this as if it was a matter of opinion! A person who is intoxicated cannot consent to sexual activity. This is a fact not a matter of discussion. I expect much better from Eden Fantasys! You should be helping to ... More
It was Dr. Phil who originally asked the question...this is an opportunity for the community to weigh in on the topic instead of a stream of internet trolls his original tweet received. The topic is relevant to the audience it is presented to.
08/23/2013
Sincerely Yours, N Sincerely Yours, N
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
It was Dr. Phil who originally asked the question...this is an opportunity for the community to weigh in on the topic instead of a stream of internet trolls his original tweet received. The topic is relevant to the audience it is presented to.
This. I feel that it was a relevant question to bring up in EF, since it was already brought up by Dr. Phil.
08/23/2013
Ansley Ansley
Lively debate happening on FB now...
08/23/2013
Happy Kupple Happy Kupple
Quote:
Originally posted by Tigrica
Both intoxicated is different from intentionally getting the other party drunk so that you can take advantage of them.
Yes, you are right, and I agree.
08/24/2013
js250 js250
Dr. Phil's Post:
--Yes I do feel he is validated to bring this up as a discussion topic. The more widely this type of rape/humiliation is discussed, the more aware society as a whole can be about the safety of others and themselves. Also, it may reach the future potential offenders/partiers/vic tims and make them really think about the situations they would be placing themselves into. That could go a hell of a long ways in preventing other situations and tragedies from happening in the future.

My opinion:
--A couple social drinks prior to having a sexual experience with someone is one thing, if the people are not drunk or buzzed, they are still responsible and clear headed enough to consent or deny sex.

If one person is drunk then I feel it is not in any way ethical for the consent to be taken at face value. There will still be the 'closing time hookups' by both parties when intoxicated--but when one person is drunk and the other is not or is only lightly buzzed then it is a non-negotiable situation!

When someone/or others get a person drunk or have them pass out in order to have sex and/or humiliate the intoxicated person--they need to be prosecuted in a court of law and held accountable. The drunk person is not mentally stable or aware enough to give an ethical or responsible positive answer. It is premeditated rape, coercion of a mentally incapacitated human being and is not in any way appropriate morally, ethically or legally!!

I feel this situation should be discussed in schools and at home PRIOR to the children becoming of an age to practice these actions. Make them aware of how horrible, reprehensible and damaging it is to the victim.

Yes, a drunk is held accountable for their actions while drinking--as long as their actions have no third party or even second party involvement. Believe me, I live with an alcoholic and know first hand just how much he is capable of---but also that I can turn the tides of our night with a couple words, suggestions or--if I was criminal--could have him agree to pretty much anything in the world I wanted after a certain amount of alcohol. I admit to using this to get him to go to bed to sleep it off...but that is the end of it!!!

I was raped at a party in high school while I was passed out from drinking and a heat stroke---it will stay with me all my life. My "best friend" at the time was a willing participant in setting me up so she could gain points from the guy she had a crush on. He was the instigator. This is a very personal and hurtful topic for me to think about or discuss, but I did with my daughter prior to her entering high school. She was able to learn from my mistakes and decided on her own to avoid the party scene and not place herself in that type of position. DISCUSSION CAN DO SOME GOOD!!!!
08/24/2013
Genderfree Genderfree
I say it depends on what you define as a person being "drunk". One drinks? Two drinks? I have sex with my partner if I've drank a little, but I'm not "drunk", maybe just woozy. It's hard to clarify when you're drunk.
08/24/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
So it seems Dr. Phil has landed himself in a bit of hot water with his latest official tweet -- 'Is it okay to have sex with a drunk girl?' (hashtag #teensaccused). This was a ploy to engage people in discussion on whether or not someone who ... More
I am "old school" on this. I think sex is a serious activity, with all kind of consequences from pregnancy to disease (and yes, death, if it a bad STD type). Thus, no one should be able to sexually access another person without both parties being of sound mind and judgment on "if" they want to play that way. Period.
08/25/2013
lana'sart lana'sart
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I say that responsible people will understand that alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes rational thinking difficult. Consequences are the farthest thing from an intoxicated person's mind.
I also say teens should not be drinking for this ... More
I agree with you
08/25/2013
lana'sart lana'sart
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I am "old school" on this. I think sex is a serious activity, with all kind of consequences from pregnancy to disease (and yes, death, if it a bad STD type). Thus, no one should be able to sexually access another person without both parties ... More
I think that line if sound mind and judgment is very important
08/25/2013
lana'sart lana'sart
Quote:
Originally posted by Sincerely Yours, N
I think that the world overreacted to Dr. Phil's post.

However, it is NOT okay to have sex with somebody intoxicated unless consent was obtained before the intoxication. Granted, the person shouldn't get so intoxicated that they pass ... More
that I think was Dr Phil main idea
08/25/2013
Sincerely Yours, N Sincerely Yours, N
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
I say it depends on what you define as a person being "drunk". One drinks? Two drinks? I have sex with my partner if I've drank a little, but I'm not "drunk", maybe just woozy. It's hard to clarify when you're drunk.
Unless you have no resistance at all, I feel that one drink will never classify you as drunk. I think drunk is defined as having drank enough to lose some control of your behavior - falling, not making normal decisions, and such. I mean, when I'm at a party, it's easy to tell the people that are drunk from those that are just buzzed or as still sober. The drunks are, well, drunk.

Having sex sober or buzzed is fine. Having sex drunk is fine if you agreed to it while sober or buzzed.
08/27/2013
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Sincerely Yours, N
Unless you have no resistance at all, I feel that one drink will never classify you as drunk. I think drunk is defined as having drank enough to lose some control of your behavior - falling, not making normal decisions, and such. I mean, when I'm ... More
If you agree to the sex beforehand, get drunk, then sometime during say no and the other party (for whatever reason) ignores the other's request to stop, then what?
08/27/2013
ginnyluvspotter ginnyluvspotter
Passed out drunk no, talking and moving drunk yes
08/27/2013
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 12