Is it wrong to NOT like kids?

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Is it wrong to NOT like kids?

CuteDee CuteDee
I find that most children REALLY annoy me... I do have a daughter, which can get on my nerves at times but Im okay with that. For the most part she listens to me and can entertain herself. However I really dont like when her friends come over. Dont know if its just that they dont listen or they just talk, talk, TALK!! or that its an added responsibility.

Just want to know if this *might* be normal?
08/11/2011
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AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by CuteDee
I find that most children REALLY annoy me... I do have a daughter, which can get on my nerves at times but Im okay with that. For the most part she listens to me and can entertain herself. However I really dont like when her friends come over. Dont ...
Hahahaha! I don't like other peoples kids! I'm not a kid person even though I have two of my own. I love them to bits and we have so much fun together. But I find other children annoying.
08/11/2011
Ghost Ghost
Hell no. I don't particularly like kids, either. My husband is going to be sterilized, because we have made the commitment to be non-breeders. It's just something we don't care about or need in our lives. We'd rather be "selfish"!
08/12/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
I think that it's completely normal! The same way that some people like spicy food and some don't! Just don't become a teacher!
08/12/2011
MJ1337 MJ1337
I go back and forth with having kids. I want them, then I don't. It's completely normal. If you don't procreate, you won't add to the overpopulation of the earth
08/12/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by CuteDee
I find that most children REALLY annoy me... I do have a daughter, which can get on my nerves at times but Im okay with that. For the most part she listens to me and can entertain herself. However I really dont like when her friends come over. Dont ...
I have three kids I LOVE and enjoy spending time with, hell I even homeschool them. Still, I don't particularly like other kids. I will tolerate them so my kids have friends but I really like when they go home...
08/12/2011
Errant Venture Errant Venture
It depends on what the kids are doing, much like adults. If they're doing something disruptive - at an age when they should know better; I can forgive babies crying and whatnot - then no, I don't like kids. Or adults, come to think of it.
08/12/2011
Ansley Ansley
I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand, you can feel any way you wish. On the other, you have a child and I think that's a counter-productive attitude. I guess as long as you don't make her friends feel unwelcome or prevent her from having her friends over, it's fine.
08/12/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I don't want to get into what is "wrong" or not. I love children. Most of the jobs I have had have involved working with children. I love the way their innocent little minds work, I love the stuff they say, I love the way they see the world from unjaded eyes. I love to watch them learn and seemingly pick up skills and ideas out of thin air. Their innocence and beauty never ceases to give me joy.

One must actually cultivate more tolerance to be able to like children than is even needed to "like" most adults. Why? Children are of course, immature, they don't understand the way the world works, thus they ask a lot of questions and make a lot of mistakes. We all made these mistakes. It is simply the way humans learn.

Honestly, I prefer the company of children to most teens and early 20 somethings. At least most children have absolutely no pretentiousness and aren't trying to prove anything to anyone or make me think they "identify" with things I know they know little about.

Children simply ARE who they are. And innocence and naivety can be seen as irritating or endearing. It depends on how tolerant one is.

People are not going to stop having children, any more than people are going to stop immigrating into the country, getting old, being pretentious, living within their own "culture" or choosing their own lifestyles. I think we at least owe children the tolerance we give any adult we have little in common with.

We can blame them for this most natural of ways, or we can cultivate tolerance and become better people by learning to understand the most vulnerable people in our society.

Sometimes I wonder why people refuse to fund education or early intervention programs, and then I see people who don't realize that being a child is a state NO ONE chooses. We were all children at one point, and I think we owe children the kindness we would show any other human being, more in fact, because they don't understand the ways of the world yet, and really are not in a place to make their own choices about most things.

Put any minority in the place of the word "child" in a lot of places and you'll see the bias against children.
08/12/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
I didn't like children for the longest time, but I realized it was because the only contact I had with children was on airplanes. I recently took a job in childcare, and now I am able to enjoy the company of most kids despite age-related shortcomings. I enjoy the respect they give me.

P'Gell, once again you have proven yourself very wise! As a child, I was very conscious of discrimination. No, I'm not talking about not being able to buy beer...I would state my opinion in an argument and people would just talk over me. Children deserve respect even though they haven't had time to learn about the world.
08/12/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by CuteDee
I find that most children REALLY annoy me... I do have a daughter, which can get on my nerves at times but Im okay with that. For the most part she listens to me and can entertain herself. However I really dont like when her friends come over. Dont ...
Hah. I think that's totally fine. My best friend does not much care for children. Its obviously normal for you, and that's just fine.
08/12/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
I didn't like children for the longest time, but I realized it was because the only contact I had with children was on airplanes. I recently took a job in childcare, and now I am able to enjoy the company of most kids despite age-related ...
Thank you. I'm glad you were able to learn to enjoy children again. I think it helps if we remember how we felt as helpless, powerless kids. When I was a child, I remember knowing some of my friends had parents who didn't like kids. And as a sensitive child, I was always aware of their lack of tolerance, and lack of patience.

Kids know if you don't like them. I think we owe it to children to not make them feel like they are just in the way. They are as much a part of society as any minority, but don't have the internal resources to fight against the injustice to reconcile it internally (thinking "It's NOT me, it's simply intolerance and discrimination. It's nothing I did.") like adults who are discriminated against can do. Kids internalize this dislike against them. It only causes them to feel more disliked and that causes even more "irritating" behavior, because as young children they really don't know what do to to "make" people like them who don't.

Kids know when they are hated. It's so unhealthy for them to have to feel they are not liked for no particular reason. My kids have a few friends whose parents or particularly mothers simply don't like kids. I don't want my younger children exposed to discrimination and made to feel uncomfortable, so they usually play at our house, where they are warmly welcomed and loved.
08/12/2011
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by CuteDee
I find that most children REALLY annoy me... I do have a daughter, which can get on my nerves at times but Im okay with that. For the most part she listens to me and can entertain herself. However I really dont like when her friends come over. Dont ...
I've met a few people who do not like kids. My sister in law refused to even touch my son as a baby and has very little to do with my kids because she doesn't like kids. I personally think it's a bit sad though. She has chosen to have have any kids and often will put me down for my choice to have two of them. Everyone can make their own choice whether or not to have kids. I hate being put down for my choice.

I love my kids although they can get on my nerves sometimes. It's a part of parenting though. I'm sure I got on my parent's nerves a lot too growing up.
08/12/2011
ijako9 ijako9
Kids can be annoying everyone has got their own opinion I wouldn't say it's "wrong"
08/12/2011
indiglo indiglo
I agree with P'Gell. I think it's really, really important to work hard to cultivate an enjoyment (and love) of children if you have them or work around them. Children have a lot to offer if we just take the time to respect them for who and what they are. They can tell when they aren't wanted or when you don't care about them, so if you have children it's important to cultivate a love for them if it doesn't come naturally to you. You need extra patience and understanding when around children, but it's important not to alienate your own children (or their friends) just because you find them personally annoying. As adults, it's our job to be the grown ups, and cultivate the necessary qualities to enjoy children, and encourage them to feel good about themselves, feel loved and feel safe. It isn't a child's fault it is on this planet, and remember, we were all children once.

I know women who are mothers and do not like children. It breaks my heart to see how they treat their kids and to see how the kids feel about themselves and their lives. It just isn't fair to the kids.
08/12/2011
Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
We're childless by choice, and I do find that children sometimes annoy me. It's mostly when they're behaving poorly and the parents aren't making any attempt to stop them that I get annoyed. Then, I am also annoyed at the parents as well. Other than that, I think they can be cute and amusing. I just don't feel I am cut out to be a parent.
08/12/2011
Rossie Rossie
I have two kids myself, I DO like children who have a gentle nature, but there are kids I'm not particularly fond of. I can't stand kids who misbehaves and are persistent screamers. The worst type are those who are able to spit out mean words at a very young age.

I have a neighbor a few houses down my block, their 5 years old wails and screams in their backyard all the time. The mother tries to calm her down but to no avail, I pity the poor woman, I kept thinking maybe the kid has a really bad case of ADHD.
08/12/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Kids are GIGANTIC pains in the ass and they brighten my world every day. I love them <3 BUT, nope, nothing wrong with not particularly caring for them. I agree with P'Gell that it takes certain skill sets and a willingness to cultivate those skill sets in order to appreciate children, and not everyone sees that as a useful pursuit. I don't think that's wrong.

I will say that people that hate children? Need to chill out. It's normal to be annoyed by them, but if a person in unable to recognize that they are not developmentally in a place where, for example, they understand how to take turns in a conversation, recognize the needs of others, ask for things politely? Then they are a sorry excuse for an adult, I hate to say. Kids are just that: kids. We all were annoying like that once, and we should have some understanding for their stage of development.

Being annoyed though? Totally normal! I love kids passionately and sometimes I want to SCREAM at them lol.
08/12/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I agree with P'Gell. I think it's really, really important to work hard to cultivate an enjoyment (and love) of children if you have them or work around them. Children have a lot to offer if we just take the time to respect them for who and ...
YES. Everything you said. You said it so much better than I was able to. I totally agree.
08/12/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I'm annoyed by children all the time. I'm annoyed by adults just as easily. Even my own children have the capacity to drive me up the proverbial wall. Do I love them? HELL YEAH. Are they awesome? ABSO-FREAKIN-LUTELY! When they fight and are super hyper, do they bug the ever-lovin'-sanity out of me? MMHM, FO' SHO'!
08/12/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I don't think liking or disliking anything is particularly wrong (save for racism, things like that...). I'm not a big fan of children for long periods of time and therefore don't plan on having any. I like the option of taking my friends/relatives kids for short periods of fun time and then giving them back when whining/crying/illness /etc. comes into play.
08/12/2011
Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I don't want to get into what is "wrong" or not. I love children. Most of the jobs I have had have involved working with children. I love the way their innocent little minds work, I love the stuff they say, I love the way they see the ...
You always express things in such a wonderful way!
08/12/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I used to be bothered by kids. Now that I'm getting more patient and laid back, kids are getting ok. Honestly, it's mostly crappy parenting skills that bother me!
08/12/2011
newlady newlady
I love children! In fact, other people's children are my favourite.
What I sometimes can't stand and find annoying is the parents/parenting....
08/12/2011
Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
I don't like children, but I would never disrespect them just because they don't know any better.
08/12/2011
CuteDee CuteDee
Thanks everyone for your comments!! I feel much better now! = )

After thinking about it... I think maybe its not the kids I dont like but the PARENTS, I have the most issues with.

Ive taught my daughter to be respectful and nice but most of her friends have a very selfish attitude and that bothers me.

I also think in this day and age, Im always paranoid that parents are gonna get mad at me if Im discipling their kids. I HATE whiney children and believe they are that way cuz of the parents.

So maybe I just dont like people in general... Well except all of you guys!
09/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I agree with P'Gell. I think it's really, really important to work hard to cultivate an enjoyment (and love) of children if you have them or work around them. Children have a lot to offer if we just take the time to respect them for who and ...
Amen. I feel if people can't tolerate kids, there are many choices for them, the first of which is simply not having them. Or, working on their own intolerances to actually cultivate a love of children. NO, most aren't "perfectly behaved." NO ONE'S kids are all the time. "Good" parents, "Bad" parents, it doesn't matter! All kids are bratty at times, and most parents have little control (besides maybe beatings) over a lot of "naughty in public" behavior. I am highly suspicious of people who claim their kids are "always well behaved" yet go on and on about the "brattiness" of others children. I often see the "my kids never misbehave or act bratty" parents kids are NO different than anyone elses, their parents are simply either immune or are able to ignore their own children's less than "perfect" behavior. IMO, most adults are much more annoying than most kids I know.

But, like it or not, children ARE part of our society. Put "black" or "Latina" or "Mentally Handicapped" or "Elderly" in the place of "child" in some people's speech and see what kind of reaction you get. It's the same thing. In some circles it's not only "OK" to not like kids, it's expected for you to not tolerate them. I don't get that at all, but I've run into it.

I don't get it. Everyone can do internal work to decrease their intolerances. Its an ongoing process and part of being human and getting along with others.

I stand strongly behind people who realize they wouldn't make good parents and refuse to bring unwanted and unappreciated kids into the world. I think it's a very mature decision on their part. All children should be born to people who love and WANT them, as well as are willing to realize that children need friends and so are willing to work on themselves to be able to tolerate other children, in order to make their own children's lives richer.
09/07/2011
Ghost Ghost
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Amen. I feel if people can't tolerate kids, there are many choices for them, the first of which is simply not having them. Or, working on their own intolerances to actually cultivate a love of children. NO, most aren't "perfectly ...
Thanks for this. My husband and I don't want kids, ever, and he is getting a vasectomy soon. People act like we are insane and give us trouble about it.
09/07/2011
butterflygirlxo butterflygirlxo
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Thanks for this. My husband and I don't want kids, ever, and he is getting a vasectomy soon. People act like we are insane and give us trouble about it.
You are not insane, just some people do not want to have kids,doesn't make you insane! But what happens later if you change your mind ??
09/07/2011
butterflygirlxo butterflygirlxo
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
YES. Everything you said. You said it so much better than I was able to. I totally agree.
Me too!
09/07/2011
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