Parent who's kids are all one gender do you ever get questioned or feel obligated to try for the opposite?

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Parent who's kids are all one gender do you ever get questioned or feel obligated to try for the opposite?

ss143 ss143
I am a mother of two boys and ever since people found out our second was another boy ( he's 3 now)I am always asked oh are you going to try for the girl now? or oh you should try for a daughter you have your boys now all you need is a little girl. The implication that as if my beautiful boys aren't enough for me upsets me. Their dad doesn't get that question at all as if having two boys he's finished and content. I have been blessed with two beautiful children and if I were to never have another I know I have two more than what a lot of families wish and pray for and if we were to have another child I would be so happy regardless of the gender.

So I was wondering if any of you moms or dad encounter the same thing and how do you feel about it?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a mother
7
I am a father
2
I have all boys
5
I have all girls
2
Yes I get this asked
6
No I dont get this asked
the always other ( please explain )
9
Total votes: 31 (14 voters)
Poll is closed
08/01/2012
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Beck Beck
I am the mother of two boys and I do hear this. While I might want to have a daughter...I've decided I don't want to start over again. I don't want to go through 10 months of pregnancy, 12+ months of breastfeeding, and 2+ years of diaper changing. I have a one year old and a three year old. And that will be plenty, because it is already! I thought I wanted another one, but I really don't! I'm completely happy with what I have. We've decided to get hubby snipped.

I wish people would mind their own business. Especially about things like this.
08/02/2012
married with children married with children
I get a few people who bug me about me needing to have a little girl. I keep telling them, I have 2 kids I dont want and cant afford another. I am happy with the two healthy happy kids I have.
08/04/2012
Errant Venture Errant Venture
Correct me if I'm wrong (I'm not all too familiar with things that affect pregnancy) but outside of artificial insemination, and other types of artificial interference, you can't really do anything to influence which sex your child becomes. While you could try some old wives' tales, you can't really 'try for the opposite'.
08/04/2012
ss143 ss143
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
I am the mother of two boys and I do hear this. While I might want to have a daughter...I've decided I don't want to start over again. I don't want to go through 10 months of pregnancy, 12+ months of breastfeeding, and 2+ years of diaper ...
Me to it gets quite frustrating
08/04/2012
ss143 ss143
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
I get a few people who bug me about me needing to have a little girl. I keep telling them, I have 2 kids I dont want and cant afford another. I am happy with the two healthy happy kids I have.
People cant seem to understand that having healthy happy children for most of us makes up happy and content. We would gladly welcome another boy or girl but would be fine if we didn't to.
08/04/2012
ss143 ss143
Quote:
Originally posted by Errant Venture
Correct me if I'm wrong (I'm not all too familiar with things that affect pregnancy) but outside of artificial insemination, and other types of artificial interference, you can't really do anything to influence which sex your child ...
That's what I say you get what you get and be happy with what you are blessed with. I knew a couple had girl after girl the husbands side of the family insisted they have a son they ended up with 6 kids trying for the boy until the wife told his family to shut it and if they wanted a boy they could make one and pay for him for 18 years. People really need to learn to butt out.
08/04/2012
Lioncub Lioncub
I used to get that had 3 boys, boys run rampant in my husband's family, while my side is all girls. We did end up having a girl, was on the pill, and it failed. While we wouldn't trade her for anything she wasn't planned and we were not planning to have another child just to see if we could get a girl.
08/04/2012
Princess Zelda Princess Zelda
No way do I want another kid lol sorry this one was a handfull even before he was born! Love him to death but he was kinda a nightmare kid.
08/04/2012
laroc nite (Tina) laroc nite (Tina)
yes answer them
08/04/2012
WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
No, I don't even have kids, but I think it's probably equally annoying to be told ALL THE TIME that I'll "change my mind" about wanting kids....as if I'm required to want children.
08/04/2012
ss143 ss143
Thanks for all of your input I do agree what one chooses to or chooses not to do regarding their family planning is up to that person not others I guess that's one of the reasons I get so annoyed
08/06/2012
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Errant Venture
Correct me if I'm wrong (I'm not all too familiar with things that affect pregnancy) but outside of artificial insemination, and other types of artificial interference, you can't really do anything to influence which sex your child ...
This.


I think people imagine some sort of balance when you have kids. Male and female evens out.
08/06/2012
ss143 ss143
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
This.


I think people imagine some sort of balance when you have kids. Male and female evens out.
I know unless medical intervention is present you get what you get lol they act as if we have a choice of gender
08/08/2012
Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
I get told all the time that I'm being selfish and unfair to my son that I'm not planning to give him any brothers or sisters, and that I really need to "fix" the situation before he gets too old.

My husband and I are both only children, and know from experience that there is nothing wrong with being an only child. It was never my life's ambition to have kids, but it happened and I love my son dearly. That doesn't mean I need to resign myself to having any more.
08/08/2012
ss143 ss143
Quote:
Originally posted by Gone (LD29)
I get told all the time that I'm being selfish and unfair to my son that I'm not planning to give him any brothers or sisters, and that I really need to "fix" the situation before he gets too old.

My husband and I are both ...
exactly what you and your husband decide to do is your choice I wish others would stop giving us their two cents about the issue we for the most part( excluding those who want but can) are happy with our decisions and have thought them through.
08/15/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
My husband and I have three girls. No boys. We're finished having babies, yet people always ask us, "When are you going to try for a boy?" It pisses me off. I say, "This is my body. Not the Lottery!"

I love my girls. We don't have any boys. So? I'm finally getting my career reinvigorated, and my kids are getting older and I really don't want any more children. Also, my husband is in his 50s and he wants to see all his children into adult hood and feels he is too old for more kids. We have reasons for not having any more kids including 5 VERY high risk pregnancies, two pregnancy losses and also not be financially set up for more babies. Not to mention wanting to be done with my own babies and work on my older kids and on my career and my happily improving sex life.

I'm not going to go through a pregnancy I don't want just to "maybe get a boy." I'd love if I had had a boy, but I had all girls. I'm glad they are relatively healthy and safe.

As for people who push others who don't want kids with "When you hold that baby in your arms, you'll change your mind" I say, "Bullshit!" I'm a Maternal Infant Nurse. I work with post partum women and their babies. I SEE women who didn't want kids and bought the "when you hold that baby" bull and HAD the baby they didn't want... and "held that baby in their arms" and STILL didn't want or love the baby. Nothing is much more of a disaster than this scenario. I see it at least once a month and it breaks my heart. Most of the time the mother tells me, "I never even wanted kids. Everybody told me I'd fall in love with the baby as soon as I held it. I didn't." OR they don't say ANYTHING, and it's obvious they don't want the child. It's freakin' heartbreaking. Not to mention awfully damaging to that unwanted child. Imagine not being wanted by your mother? Sad as hell.

IMO, if you don't want kids don't have kids. It's simple. YOU know what you want. Don't believe the hype that you will "hold that baby in your arms and change your mind." It rarely happens.

As for people who have one child. So? If you only want one child, only have ONE child. It's fine. (I was an only child until my mom got remarried. I was an adult then. Nothing wrong with having one kid.)

People KNOW what they want and what they are capable of. People should trust them. Also, I hate being pressured to have "one more try" as if my family doesn't count because I haven't produced male spawn. Fuck that. I LOVE my girls. I'm happy to have them and they are all I'm going to have.
08/15/2012
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 11