The best toy for self-defense...

Gdom Gdom 10/24/2012

Occasionally, I see a toy that I cannot conceive of using for its intended purpose, but that might still function as a formidable weapon against an unfortunate attacker. So, Eden, which of these toys do YOU think would be the best for self-defense? Feel free to mention any toys I haven't mentioned here that could be effectively weaponized. (Of course, this is for laughs only; please don't go out and attack someone with a steel dildo on my behalf)

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Discussion Topics

1.
Gdom Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Llewey , plaidvulva , michael scofield , Vaginas , Jaimes , Dixiemomma , TWE112 , tequilafish , ginnyluvspotter
9  (8%)
SexyTabby , closed account , AmethystSmoke , Sundae Sparkles , deltalima , ghalik , - Kira - , Rossie , ShadowedSeductress , Sammi , travelnurse , tortilla , LoveYouLikeThat , ViVix , KyotoAngel , married with children , damnbul12 , RatchetS , gsfanatic , Stinkytofu10 , Gone (LD29) , Lildrummrgurl7 , Sinfully , Ryuson , brevado , Vanille , Missmarc , skeeterlynn , Neotigress , Gunsmoke , sXeVegan90 , wetone123 , Girly Juice , kitty1949 , BlooJay , edeneve , kendra30752 , violets , Terri69 , GONE! , Alyona , LavenderSkies , llellsee , mpfm , panthercat23 , Stagger13 , haley730 , mandiegk , dv8 , Lavendar , Melan!e , Jesyra , Adriana Ravenlust , Wonderstruck , ToyGeek , CaseyDeuce , natashaanime , Creepellah , Lioncub , SaraW0512 , sweetpea12 , Kitka , Supervixen , Apirka , Bignuf , Nora29714 , mistre$$ , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Billie Bones , rockblenny , CaliGirl , sexxxkitten , Boyfriend , AliMc , potstickers , KevinW , EdenUser , AlianneCimorene , PropertyOfPotter , peachmarie , Liz2 , roskat , Nurse Katie , Bill220 , SepZet , comatose-kitty , CoffeeCup , apryls , SiNn , Allstars316 , heather-mooney , ElizaFetishx , Beck , padmeamidala , AishiteruYO , XYCopperheadSly , Real or memorex , amazon , Thumper Logic , joolie , SecondStory , alexjewels , improbableomnicide , nimr , .Kim. , Martiniman
106  (90%)
VioletMoonstone , Mikemanz , Genderfree
3  (3%)
Total votes: 118
Poll is open
10/24/2012
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SexyTabby SexyTabby
lol When I first got my pure wand that was my reaction...I could knock someone out cold with this thing! Eleven would be about the same I'm sure - steel the ultimate in pleasure...and pain for intruders!
10/24/2012
Incendiaire Incendiaire
I'd go for one of the handled Tantus toys, such as the Anaconda, the Goddess Handle, or the Echo Handle, plus they come in fluorescent colours so you could make lightsaber noises as you repelled your intruder.

I imagine the weight of the Eleven would make it a little unwieldy. You'd probably lift it over your head in an attempt to swing it, and fall over backwards in the process.
10/24/2012
closed account closed account
i used to have a toy that looked similar to the manhandle..but it was called a nightstick.
10/24/2012
AmethystSmoke AmethystSmoke
The Eleven if it's hand to hand combat; the Omega if it's from a distance. I was going to go with the Pure Plug 2.0 for throwing but think the handle may keep it from being as accurate as the Omega.
10/24/2012
Sundae Sparkles Sundae Sparkles
Quote:
Originally posted by AmethystSmoke
The Eleven if it's hand to hand combat; the Omega if it's from a distance. I was going to go with the Pure Plug 2.0 for throwing but think the handle may keep it from being as accurate as the Omega.
XD tee he he this made my day
10/24/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Eleven has a nice weight to it.
10/24/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
I have the Eleven and that thing weighs a TON. You could literally kill someone with it. My husband jokes he wants to sleep with it under his pillow at night.
10/24/2012
Rossie Rossie
I believe the Eleven should be the most lethal one.
10/24/2012
ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
Definitely the eleven.
10/24/2012
travelnurse travelnurse
after the 11, I would definitely go for Hung. That one is 3 lbs also!!
10/24/2012
Llewey Llewey
Ooh, black Manhandler! That would be hilarious since the poor victim would think it's a regular billy club from a distance, only to be slapped by a big rubber cock when you get closer.
10/24/2012
LoveYouLikeThat LoveYouLikeThat
The 11..It looks like it can do some serious damage
10/24/2012
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Eleven. Hilarious topic btw!
10/24/2012
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Incendiaire
I'd go for one of the handled Tantus toys, such as the Anaconda, the Goddess Handle, or the Echo Handle, plus they come in fluorescent colours so you could make lightsaber noises as you repelled your intruder.

I imagine the weight of the ... More
LOL!
10/24/2012
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Probably the Eleven for the weight...but I think I'd pass out from laughing my bum off if I ever saw a news story about someone using a sex toy as a weapon. xD
I can picture it now too..."and in other news, today a 74 year old woman fended off six muggers with a large phallic object. Police questioned the woman and later found the item to be the Manhandler toy by the adult novelty company Doc Johnson. As of this program, the muggers were still in the ICU and no charges have been filed."

10/24/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Eleven, though I've heard tales of really heavy stainless steel toys that'd be even more dangerous
10/24/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Eleven
10/24/2012
Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
The Eleven! I don't have one of those yet, so probably the Anaconda would be my best weapon.
10/24/2012
RonLee RonLee
Nexus gyro xtreme
10/24/2012
Sinfully Sinfully
The Hoss
10/24/2012
RatchetS RatchetS
Quote:
Originally posted by KyotoAngel
Probably the Eleven for the weight...but I think I'd pass out from laughing my bum off if I ever saw a news story about someone using a sex toy as a weapon. xD
I can picture it now too..."and in other news, today a 74 year old woman ... More
I love that too funny.

When I took self defense in college, we listen to a court hearing of an elderly woman (70's) who fended off a rapist.
A man broke into a backwoods elderly couple's home, when the husband was away. The man came into the bedroom while the wife was sleeping and got on top of her. He was hiking up her gown with her pleading to hurt her, when he decided to make her give him oral. So he takes off his pants and gets his junk close to the woman's mouth.
The woman, however, has been watching his hands to make sure he doesn't have a weapon. When his thing gets close she grabs, twists, and pulls. The man is now in pain and fights and pleads with her to let go. He bangs her against walls up the hallway and om furniture. The woman holds on not letting go.
The desperate man asks what he needs to do to make the woman let go. She says to get out of her house. She makes him unlock the door and before he leaves, she tells him that she is getting her husband's shot gun and will come after him. So he better start running. He stumbles away. She gets the gun, fires a couple of shots into the night, and calls the police.


Moral of the story. If the dildo doesn't work, "Grab, twist, and pull."
10/24/2012
brevado brevado
Eleven's got some serious weight to it
10/24/2012
Vanille Vanille
The Eleven. I also made a joke in my Fairy Mini review that if you swung it hard enough you could probably A) choke someone out with the cord or B) bludgeon them.
10/24/2012
Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Eleven
10/24/2012
skeeterlynn skeeterlynn
Eleven
10/24/2012
Neotigress Neotigress
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Eleven is the one I want least to get hit in the head with.
10/24/2012
sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
I love this post! haha! I'd have to go with the Eleven if we're talking hand to hand combat.
10/25/2012
Girly Juice Girly Juice
Easily the Eleven. It's HUGE and HEAVY.
10/25/2012
plaidvulva plaidvulva
I thought the black manhandler was a nightstick/police baton at first. :|
10/25/2012
kitty1949 kitty1949
The Eleven could definitely knock a bitch out.
10/25/2012
BlooJay BlooJay
Definitely the eleven.
10/25/2012
edeneve edeneve
oh, definitely the Eleven - that hunk of metal is HUGE1 could you imagine chasing someone w/ it?
10/25/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Eleven, no doubt! However, those others also look like they'd have the paranoid-on-a-budget's back just fine too! Lol.
10/25/2012
violets violets
Haha. The Eleven seems like it would be best
10/25/2012
Terri69 Terri69
Eleven
10/25/2012
Alyona Alyona
Eleven
10/25/2012
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Definitely the Eleven!
10/25/2012
llellsee llellsee
The eleven!
10/25/2012
panthercat23 panthercat23
The metal one could do some damage.
10/25/2012
Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
I think the eleven would work,
10/25/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
I want to say the Anaconda, but probably the Eleven.
10/25/2012
haley730 haley730
I would say the Eleven
10/25/2012
Lavendar Lavendar
eleven
10/25/2012
michael scofield michael scofield
lol
10/25/2012
natashaanime natashaanime
The eleven appears to be the best
10/25/2012
Creepellah Creepellah
I'd use the eleven jaja
10/25/2012
Lioncub Lioncub
Eleven
10/25/2012
SaraW0512 SaraW0512
Eleven
10/26/2012
sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Eleven for sure!!
10/26/2012
Kitka Kitka
The Eleven definitely!
10/26/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
An Eleven, in the right hands, would be a formidible weapon.
10/26/2012
Apirka Apirka
Definitely the Eleven! It does weigh almost 3 pounds, but you can get a lot of momentum when swinging that baby around. And really, it doesn't take long to not notice the weight anymore (it's more shocking when you first pick it up). Plus the ridges along the smaller head make great finger grips to allow it to be used like a baseball bat.
10/26/2012
Nora29714 Nora29714
eleven
10/26/2012
Supervixen Supervixen
Eleven! Man, I'd love to beat up an intruder with a dildo. Just for the great story it would make.
10/26/2012
mistre$$ mistre$$
HA! I've had this conversation a lot because my partner has actually asked me to get him a double-ended dildo, just so he could use it in case of needing something for self-defense. I've been debating it for about a year now.
10/26/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I would go with the Eleven.
10/26/2012
Billie Bones Billie Bones
My friend and I were joking about using my Pure Wand as a murder weapon in a horror movie we want to make haha
10/26/2012
CaliGirl CaliGirl
I always joke that my thicker glass toys cold be a weapon!
10/26/2012
sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
Eleven! Haha!
10/26/2012
Boyfriend Boyfriend
eleven
10/26/2012
AliMc AliMc
The Eleven for sure, that things look mighty heavy!!
10/26/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
Yeah the 11 loosk the heaviest
10/26/2012
Vaginas Vaginas
this is so funny.
I'd love to smack a bad guy with a giant rubber dildo haha
10/26/2012
KevinW KevinW
Eleven
11/13/2012
VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
LOL. I like them all but the double dong looks pretty lethal.
11/13/2012
AlianneCimorene AlianneCimorene
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
Clearly the best option is the Eleven. It is heavy and solid metal, can be sterilized to remove the germs/blood/viscera of one's attacker, and the ridged side has pre-made hand holds!
On the other hand, the Manhandler looks a little like a police baton...
11/13/2012
Jaimes Jaimes
Heavy and solid is good, but it's the whip action of flexible material that gives you extra force, and it's amazing how much more a stinging blow hurts than a hard and heavy blow. And, having a distinct handle gives you more control, making it harder for the attacker to take away the weapon, and harder for you to lose your grip on the weapon. I love martial arts and self defense, and escrima/kali is an amazing self defense technique. At least for my style and aggression level. You get close, but off their attack line, and you hit and hit until there is nothing left but a body for the coroner.

I'd say the manhandler. One good whipping WHACK against the ear is HORRIBLY debilitating. It totally rocks your balance, your hearing, your sight, and it hurts like hell. It makes it much harder for them to continue attacking you, or at least gives you a little more time to get in a second blow. Yeah, I'd go for the manhandler, or the goddess handle, or something that can whip.
11/13/2012
Mikemanz Mikemanz
just waving this at someone would scare them!
11/13/2012
peachmarie peachmarie
Hilarious! That would be the best police report those police officers would have to report. "intruder beaten unconscious with large phallus shaped marital aide."
11/13/2012
roskat roskat
Eleven would be very effective!
11/13/2012
Bill220 Bill220
Can't beat steel for self-defense! Man that thing is expensive!
11/13/2012
SepZet SepZet
Eleven of course!
11/14/2012
apryls apryls
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
the eleven
11/14/2012
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
the eleven or the manhandler
11/14/2012
Allstars316 Allstars316
The eleven
11/14/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
My Eleven will be my toy of pick for any home defense.
11/25/2012
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by Gdom
Please consider efficacy and humor in assessing which toy could be weaponized most effectively.
The eleven
11/25/2012
TWE112 TWE112
manhandler black.
11/25/2012
tortilla tortilla
eleven
11/25/2012
Real or memorex Real or memorex
I think charging a male attacker wearing a strap-on could be pretty effective. So I will also suggest a neon green Vixskin dildo with harness.
11/25/2012
Thumper Logic Thumper Logic
Eleven definitely
11/25/2012
tequilafish tequilafish
Personally I'd go for the penis-sword, I mean manhandler, to fend off an intruder. Really though, that's the first toy I saw on here that I was like THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE A WEAPON. I bet the eleven could inflict some serious damage though!
02/08/2013
Total posts: 83
Unique posters: 82