I need both in a relationship. When I first started to date men, I had a relationship that was a friendship with sex. He wasn't romantic at all- he would never take me out to a nice dinner, he wouldn't get me something that showed he cared, and I'm pretty sure he had no idea what spontaneity was.
What his idea of a relationship was for me to come to his house, we'd talk about books for maybe a few minutes, we would smoke and he would drink for a little bit, maybe have sex if I could talk him into it, and then he would either go to sleep or have me watch him eat something. It was so disappointing; if I wanted to do all of these things, I would have gone to my best friend's house, and we would have had more fun.
I don't want my man to buy me things, but I want him to show that he's thinking of me and that he cares about me. That could go from him picking a flower off the side of the road to making us a special dinner. It's not so much the act, as it is the thought behind it. I want someone that I can confide in and talk to, and someone that can tell me he loves and cares for me.