Who Should Pay for the Wedding?

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Who Should Pay for the Wedding?

DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
So with all this chat about weddings on the forums lately, I want to know who YOU think should pay for the wedding? Big wedding, small wedding, it doesn't matter: who should foot the bill?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
The bride should pay.
1  (1%)
The groom should pay.
1  (1%)
The bride and groom should pay equally.
13  (19%)
The bride's family should pay.
5  (7%)
The bride's groom's should pay.
The bride and groom's families should pay equally.
3  (4%)
Both the bride and groom should pay, but not necessarily equally.
27  (40%)
Bot the bride and groom's families should pay, but not necessarily equally.
3  (4%)
Other/None of the above/I like cookies
14  (21%)
Total votes: 67
Poll is closed
12/06/2011
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slynch slynch
I've been married twice (2 different women) and both times we paid for it ourselves. Our parents helped with the receptions/dinner.
12/06/2011
Nothere Nothere
I like it when the actual couple pays, just so they get total control over their wedding. Otherwise, it's best for the families to share it equally.
12/06/2011
Darklyvan Darklyvan
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
So with all this chat about weddings on the forums lately, I want to know who YOU think should pay for the wedding? Big wedding, small wedding, it doesn't matter: who should foot the bill?
My wife and I paid for the wedding ourselves, our families helped with the reception.
12/06/2011
Jaimes Jaimes
It was a collective effort between my husband and I, and both our families.
12/06/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
My wedding was mostly paid for by my ex and myself. My family contributed labor (dress making, decorating, food, etc) (his showed up the day before and hardly spoke to my family). We spent under a $1000 (back in 2000). Kind of relieved, after the divorce (2010), that we didn't waste too much money on the wedding.

My best friend's son is marrying into a well-off Greek family - his fiancee's family is paying for the whole thing, so his side of the family has absolutely NO say in anything (he can't even have his best friend in the wedding party or even invite him - his best man is the bride's brother). My best friend adores his fiancee, so she's all right with them having that much control.

If I should ever marry again both my future husband and I will pay for it ourselves. A reception is - essentially - your 'first' big party you throw as a couple, so it makes sense for the bridal couple to pay and arrange it themselves.
12/06/2011
mandaj mandaj
how mine worked, my family and his family helped out on the things we asked them to. me and my husband paid for most of OUR wedding. but it wouldve been nice if the family chipped in and got us a honeymoon since we didnt have much money left after the wedding
12/06/2011
emilia emilia
Quote:
Originally posted by Nothere
I like it when the actual couple pays, just so they get total control over their wedding. Otherwise, it's best for the families to share it equally.
AGREED
12/06/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I think that the wedding should be paid by whomever wants to pay for it; in my culture, its acceptable for the parents to pay, but I think it's fine if the couple pays as well. Honestly, I don't really care. It's nobody's business except the bride and groom and whoever else that wants to get involved.
12/06/2011
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I think it should be a combination of the families and the bride/groom. It's an awful lot of expenses for a new bride and groom to have, especially if they are trying to buy a house or something. My mom is paying for my reception hall, dress, and food and we are paying for everything else.
12/06/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
I think it should be a combination of the bride and the groom. Though, she is paying for her dress. That's one thing we both agreed on.
12/06/2011
Kitka Kitka
I think both the groom and bride should pay for it but not necessarily equally. Whatever they work out is fine.
12/06/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I think it depends on the family. Younger kids just out of college will simply not have the money (our middle daughter will be more than $50,000.00 in debt when she gets her Master's in the spring of 2013) but people should stay flexible.

At our wedding, my parents paid for the reception and the invitations and the open bar, I paid for the dress and the church, my husband paid for the tuxedos and his parents paid for.... nothing. Despite the fact that we had bought a house together, were already planning a wedding and were living in the said house together, his mother said I "trapped him" by getting pregnant and that people who have sex before the wedding don't deserve a wedding. They wanted us to elope and then lie to their families about the date the wedding took place, so the baby wouldn't look "illegitimate."

I said, "Balls." to that and did what we had already planned. Only we planned the entire thing in 6 weeks.

Even getting a guest list out of my husband's parents was like pulling teeth. Such wonderful rays of sunshine, those people...
12/06/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves. My mom and dad helped some, but for the most part we footed the entire bill. And we planned the whole thing ourselves. And it was a wonderful time. In this day and age, I really think that the couple should be responsible for most of the costs. Nothing wrong if parents want to help out, but I don't think it should be a big requirement.
12/06/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I think it should be an equal deal for the bride and groom. If family wants to help, that's great but it should be a equally shared expense.
12/06/2011
Sinfully Sinfully
The bride and groom should pay IMO.
12/06/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
So with all this chat about weddings on the forums lately, I want to know who YOU think should pay for the wedding? Big wedding, small wedding, it doesn't matter: who should foot the bill?
We are old school. We are paying for our daughters wedding, but other then living at college, she has NOT lived with this guy and they are both young.

When you are living together for years or older, well it is silly to expect parents to then pony up for a wedding. Then it is YOUR problem to pay for it, We think.

Forget the two 38 year olds who have been living together for ten years expecting Mommy and Daddy to pay for the $250,000 wedding. NO WAY..sorry.
12/06/2011
PeppermintFuntimes PeppermintFuntimes
I think both parties should pay equally, that includes the families as well if they're going for a big get together.
12/06/2011
LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
Quote:
Originally posted by PeppermintFuntimes
I think both parties should pay equally, that includes the families as well if they're going for a big get together.
i agree.
12/06/2011
Moein Moein
In my society the groom has to bay for every thing including the wedding expensses. It is because of the eastern masculine concept, which means that the man has to be strong and absolutly responsible for his "kingdom". At wedding greetings, guests say a traditional agnome to the groom: "Money from you, kids from her"
12/06/2011
Gracie Gracie
It really depends on who can afford it. I hate to see a new couple start out with debt. Especially if they are already paying on student loans. I wish more weddings would keep it simple. Half and half would only be fair if both partners have the same income. To me it makes sense that whoever has more contributes more, but ideally everyone contributes something.
12/06/2011
T&A1987 T&A1987
make the person who wants it the most. If only one person wants a wedding, why should the other person subsidize the other's fancy party?
12/06/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
make the person who wants it the most. If only one person wants a wedding, why should the other person subsidize the other's fancy party?
If only one person wants to get married, why are they getting married?
12/07/2011
T&A1987 T&A1987
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
If only one person wants to get married, why are they getting married?
not get married, have a wedding. A wedding is not getting married, it's a party. getting married is starting your life together, vowing to stay together and then signing the paperwork to make it official, possibly overseen by a man or woman of your religious affiliation. Honestly I wish people would separate the idea of weddings and getting married, because sometimes I swear it seems like people just want to get married to have a wedding (kardashian).
12/07/2011
Jaimes Jaimes
Ours was a bit complicated, since he had been married once before, and we were already living together for for the previous 3 years. His parents are well off, so they helped out with the reception, which was the biggest bill. We called in every favor we could with our locations, and got some pretty amazing deals. He and I bought the dress, paid for the ceremony site, and made the invitations, favors, the ring pillow and the candy girl baskets, did our own dj-ing, and even made little costume contest prizes for people. My parents paid for all the decorations, my grandmother made my bouquet, and my mom made us 6 different wedding desserts. It really was a giant collaboration. We ended up with an amazing, very personal wedding for under 7,000. Because it was my husband's second wedding, it didn't feel appropriate to expect gifts, so we registered for basic things, and didn't get a 10th of what we registered for, which made me feel better, since I didn't want to register at all.
12/07/2011
SomewhatSomewhere SomewhatSomewhere
I'm not expecting my parents to help fund my wedding. It would be nice if they did, but it's doubtful. I'm not sure if the bride and groom need to pay equally--after all, the bride has more to pay for. Those dresses aren't cheap!!
12/07/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
I think the bride and groom should pay.
12/07/2011
Girly Girl Girly Girl
all loving ones should help a little
12/07/2011
Alura Une Alura Une
If I had just a little more money, I'd myself pay for as much of the wedding as I could. Not that I'd expect anyone else to have this mindset--I think that it is good that some traditions are in place to create order and give roles. I think that if these roles create serious burdens, though, discussions should be had so that these things can be spread out.

I'm not sure if we'll have a "real" wedding. I love weddings, dresses, all that. But I think I'd rather enjoy other people's celebrations rather than worry about the money everyone will have to put in to ours. I need a lot of stuff more than a wedding. :/
12/07/2011
Missmarc Missmarc
I think if we were ever to get married, I'd just like to go down to the city hall, and get the marriage licence. I don't see a reason to spend thousands of dollars on a ceremony/party when we have been together for a numbers of years. We love each other, have a lot of wonderful memories together and that is good enough for me.
This money is after all just a ceremony for the families of parties involved. I imagine whoever actually want it to happen should pitch in. In my case, I imagine my family already have money set aside waiting for that day to happen
I cannot help but wonder how much lives the money can save if used elsewhere.
12/07/2011
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Total posts: 41
Unique posters: 35