Convincing him to get me one?

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Convincing him to get me one?

ninja ninja
I want to start experimenting with sex toys, but I don't know how to convince my fiance' (or however you spell that) to get me one. He and I talked about it yesterday, but he said he doesn't feel I need one, and he doesn't want it to get in the way of our relationship. The funny thing was, he brought it up. I told him that I wouldn't mind having a small vibrator or something similar, just to see what it's like. I don't want to just go get one, because I would rather he helped pick it out than I do, because it would be mostly him using it on me. Is there any way I could talk to him again and perhaps convince him? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
11/10/2008
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Snappy Snappy
My suggestions: watch a DVD(Nina Hartley's Advanced Guide to Sex Toys) or read a book(The Many Joys of Sex Toys,Sex Toys 101,Toy Gasms,)together. Afterward, discuss them and plan to go shopping together. Online shopping is more discreet but it can be fun to visit a brick'n'mortar. You can see the what the products actually look and feel like in person. Sometimes there are good in-store specials, too.
11/10/2008
Nashville Nashville
Why don't you get yourself one as opposed to him getting one for you? Really, I thought my husband's input was necessary when picking toys because I figured he'd use them on me often. Didn't turn out that way, I use my vibrators and dildos about 85% of the time alone. For your first sex toy your input is better than any guy's because it's your body. I tried to have my husband pick out a toy before and it was awful, just ridiculous, too small and not nearly powerful enough. Hubby doesn't know best when it comes to finding a toy that's right for me.

Make sure to communicate with him, especially if this is something you want. There's really no wrong way to broach the subject as communication is key and stifling your thoughts and feelings can lead to nothing but unhappiness. Also, if you do pick up a toy for yourself then pick up one for him too. Get a vibrator for you and a masturbator for him, trust me, he'll be a lot more receptive to using toys.
11/10/2008
ninja ninja
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
Why don't you get yourself one as opposed to him getting one for you? Really, I thought my husband's input was necessary when picking toys because I figured he'd use them on me often. Didn't turn out that way, I use my vibrators and ...
Okay then, any suggestions on what to get exactly?
11/10/2008
Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by ninja
Okay then, any suggestions on what to get exactly?
It's all about your personal preference. When I pick my vibrators and dildos it's like picking a penis. Do I want a big one that I have to be really worked up to use? Do I want a smaller one that I can enjoy anytime without worrying if I need a bottle of lube? My first FAVORITE sex toy was the Eager Beaver. It was right for me as it included not only a penetrating shaft but a connecting bullet to use on my clitoris as well. I had never experienced dual stimulation and when I found that one it really opened doors for me. You have to think about the elements you want. Something that just vibrates, or wiggles, or includes dual action features?

As far as masturbators go, my husband puts it this way "all I want is something to stick my dick into-- a hole is a hole".. While in all reality he's a lot more well versed sometimes it really does come down to that. The Tube Love Glove is perfect, cheap, and rated highly. I definitely don't see anyone going wrong when they purchase that.
11/10/2008
Oggins Oggins
As Sleeping Dreamer stated, it's all about your personal preference but, I am just going to make a suggestion here. You could start with a small vibrator. Something that isn't going to intimidate him in any way. When you get a chance you could dress up really sexy for him and call him over to you. Then play with him a bit to get him good and hard before you whip out a nice small little vibe and rub it up and down his shaft, on his balls and of course circle the head with it. Then look into his eyes and say, "Does that feel good honey?" When he says yes, state that that's the same way they make you feel. Not a replacement for him but an added bonus to your play. Once he's warmed up to the idea he'll be more open to things you both would like to try. Just an idea and I hope it helps! Good luck! =)
11/10/2008
Epiphora Epiphora
Get the Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet. It's cheap and it has changed my life. It is small and hopefully would not intimidate your guy. It's also purple and lime green, so it is fun and doesn't look like it was made 50 years ago. You should tell him you want to use it during sex, and since it will probably help you orgasm faster, he will not be able to complain!
11/10/2008
Epiphora Epiphora
Also, can I just say that it will only HELP your relationship? Seriously. Don't let him tell you it will "get in the way."
11/10/2008
Dragon Dragon
Ask him.. Isn't it your fantasy to watch me play with myself? It is for most guys. Watch the surprise that I have for you. Then make sure that you want him, because he's clearly worried about that... (Rarely an issue...)
11/11/2008
Mamastoys Mamastoys
The Secret Sex Toy is a small vibe that is great to start out with. My hubby was only a little hesitate to get toys and we started out small. I actually picked out the first (and most since then) one but he has never complained. We mostly use them together- him using them on me, seldom do I use them for solo but sometimes he will be gone and I have free time. From the start, I made sure he knew that the toys weren't going to replace him and that I was satisfied with him alone. The toys have just made things even better with us. Be sure to talk to him about what he wants too.
02/24/2009
Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
I suggest any of the Climax Gems collections. They are inexpensive, with strong vibes and come in a nice array of shapes and colors. None of them are really big either. They are the perfect first toy in my opinion.
02/24/2009
Sammi Sammi
I'd suggest picking something in a fun color, and not natural-colored. A purple dildo is much less threatening than a flesh colored one to most guys.
02/24/2009
Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
I second the Xtreme pack bullet as a very first toy.

It may help you to browse the EF site together - stopping to look at things that interest both of you and reading the reviews.
02/24/2009
Tragemony Tragemony
I'd say if you want to ease him into toys in general, go for a cheap vibrating ring first. That's how I got my man first interested in toys, and it's not intimidating, considering they're really stretchy and don't restrict. I'd say to start with something you can both use, then move to something that can be used by you and your partner or solo.
03/08/2009
TexasBrat TexasBrat
I've been going back and reading some old posts. I really hope you were able to get yourself one.
Many men think that the IDEA of a sex toy as fun, but when you delve into that idea as a possibility, then they're like WHOA! What people need to really remember, is that a sex toy is an ENHANCEMENT in the bedroom, not a replacment.
Small "unphallic" looking toys are great for first-timer couples. Maybe something cute, like a bullet with a bunny or butterfly on it. They're easy to use, easy to operate, and very versitile.
06/12/2011
newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by ninja
I want to start experimenting with sex toys, but I don't know how to convince my fiance' (or however you spell that) to get me one. He and I talked about it yesterday, but he said he doesn't feel I need one, and he doesn't want it to ...
As a guy who has been married for 24 years, I perhaps have a bit different perspective. When I was young, I thought I was invincible and the ultimate lover. After all, I had made many girls cum (or at least so they said). Then I got married, and was very happy. However, I learned that my wife thought she could not have an orgasm, and I could not "make" her. We spent many happy years together, but each year out sex life got less and less. Finally, two years ago, we brought toys in, and all of a sudden my wife can cum, and wants sex regularly. I feel guilty for not pursuing this years ago, as it would have been happier for both of us. If he won't, get a toy and learn to use it yourself. Then, slowly and sensuously bring it into your lovemaking, perhaps as a way to get off during some times of the month, or as a way to make him squirm (on his balls or perineum). Then, get him to use it on you, teach him, teach each other, and learn to communicate. It will pay off long term for each of you.
06/12/2011
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 13