How long do you exchange messages before meeting someone offline?

Upyourreviews Upyourreviews
Just curious what everyone's protocol is. I'm so paranoid! Any inside tips of the trade and/or bad experiences with a lesson learned?
06/11/2012
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SMichelle SMichelle
My partner and I exchanged messages for only about 2 months before we began talking about meeting. It was a big thing, as he lives very, very far away and travel arrangements needed to be made. We originally said that we would wait 6 months, but about 1 1/2 months in, we both wanted to move up the meeting to ASAP.

I'm glad I did, though neither he or I went about the meeting in a safe way. No one knew I was meeting him, except one e-mail penpal (who didn't have his contact information). No one knew he was meeting me. Looking back, I was very lucky.
06/11/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Mine was only two days but my situation is probably different from the norm. We had mutual friends so I knew that he was who he said he was and wasn't afraid to go meet him. Now we're engaged

I say no matter how long you talk to someone (unless a similar situation like mine) that you should meet the first time (or few times) in a public place where other people are or drag a friend along. I don't care how lame it sounds but with all the stuff you see in the news these days, I wouldn't take any chances. I went along with a friend before when she met someone.
06/11/2012
Upyourreviews Upyourreviews
It's good to hear the good stories, but the bad stories are still freaking me out!
06/11/2012
Peggi Peggi
When it came to meeting FRIENDS from online, I always was sure to do that neat "exchanging signs" thing but I am also in the age group where that is still a "cool" thing to do. Where you write your friend's name on yourself or a piece of paper, take a picture of it and send it to them. It's also a cute way of saying "see we are friends!" So I never had to worry about someone not being who they say they are, plus I'd talk to them a LOT before meeting them.

My hubby, I met online and 2 days after we started talking I agreed to drive 2 hours to his house to meet him, which I did exactly 6 days after we began chatting.
06/11/2012
lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by Upyourreviews
Just curious what everyone's protocol is. I'm so paranoid! Any inside tips of the trade and/or bad experiences with a lesson learned?
i never meet anyone my friend did and he robed her for alot of money and stuff out of her house
06/11/2012
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by lisasharrer
i never meet anyone my friend did and he robed her for alot of money and stuff out of her house
I think it's worth noting that people that you meet in everyday life (not on the internet) can do the same thing.

The safest thing, I think, is to meet in a public place. Have a friend with you, or at the very least, tell someone where you're going to be. Have someone expecting to hear back from you at a certain time, so if you don't phone your friend, they'll know that something's gone wrong.

The truth is, meeting people online isn't much different than meeting people anywhere else.
06/11/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
5 or so... to really get an idea if it is worth it
06/11/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by Upyourreviews
Just curious what everyone's protocol is. I'm so paranoid! Any inside tips of the trade and/or bad experiences with a lesson learned?
Honestly, I personally would never. But if you do plan to, there's really no set amount of time you should wait. Just like the amount of time you should wait to have sex differs for every person. You should definitely make sure you've given it enough time to where you THINK you fully know as much as you can know someone from just messsages. I mean, some people could fake a personality for a year.
06/11/2012
Upyourreviews Upyourreviews
Quote:
Originally posted by lisasharrer
i never meet anyone my friend did and he robed her for alot of money and stuff out of her house
Yikes! I suppose that could happen no matter where you met the person though.
06/11/2012
friendswithfangs friendswithfangs
my gf and i met online, and probably talked for a good year before we met? it's hard to recall exactly, but we definitely dated online for about 9 months before we were able to arrange a visit (she lives across the country). not to say we wouldnt have met before then if we could have, tbh, but i think it was a good amount of time to really understand that we definitely wanted this!
11/14/2013
Edeneve Edeneve
this has been a question I've been trying to answer for myself since I recently began using online dating sites.
11/18/2013
CinnamonNights CinnamonNights
I don't have a defined time, but my bofriend and I talked for about 3/4ths of a year before we actually got to meet. That was mostly due to circumstance however. I'd say maybe a month for people with online dating sites, It really depends on when you're ready. However whatever you end up doing make sure that you aren't dependent on the person when you go to meet. Meet somewhere bright and public, let your family/friends know where you will be going and when you should be home, and make sure that you have a mode of transportation to leave if things go sour. Oh and probably shouldn't sleep with them, since you shouldn't just go home with them the very first time you meet them.
11/18/2013
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 10