Opinions on E-Love?

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Opinions on E-Love?

TinyTease TinyTease
I've been getting to know this guy online for 4 months now. We have yet to meet in person, but I am going to be in his area in about 2 months. I am completely enamored with him and he feels the same, but I can't help but have my doubts. I mean, meeting in person is a lot different than talking on the phone, sharing pictures and chatting. Mostly, I'm afraid he'll not like the real me.

I'm just curious as to what everyone thinks about this sort of thing. I know it's becoming more commonplace to meet people online, especially with all the dating sites available, but who else has been in my shoes? I would love to hear experiences, thoughts and opinions about it.
04/08/2009
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Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I met my husband online. Things have worked out tremendously but that first meeting was really.. nerve wracking for about 30 minutes. We're both a little different than we seemed online; that just comes with the territory.. but our feelings transferred incredibly well.
04/08/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I met my husband online. Things have worked out tremendously but that first meeting was really.. nerve wracking for about 30 minutes. We're both a little different than we seemed online; that just comes with the territory.. but our feelings ...
How long did you two talk before you met? Do you think that getting to know him online first was beneficial for your relationship in ways that meeting someone in person first wouldn't be?
04/08/2009
Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
I have met a few people online, one girl I was with for a long time, and still talk to daily, one guy moved to OK, but I still see him when he comes to see his Mom, and we are still great friends, so it is possible and worth it even to make great friends.
04/08/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
My boyfriend and I got to know each other pretty well through chatting online before we decided to start dating. We lived in the same town at the time and met each other (but didn't actually talk that much) at a convention. In fact, since he's so tall and pale, I was actually a little intimidated/creeped out by my boyfriend. However, over the next few weeks, we found each other online and started to talk. As we got to know each other better, my image of him changed from tall and creepy to large and cuddly. We eventually decided to start dating, and we've been together for over a year now.
04/08/2009
Nashville Nashville
My state was SMALL.. so really, the people online, you saw over and over again. Does anyone remember Hot or Not? About 7 or 8 years ago it was really popular, people were all over that shit like flies on honey. At the insistence of a friend I put my picture up... it wasn't the best picture but hey, it a very clear one taken with a digital camera and quality like that was hard to come by. Hot or Not had a little "meet me" section or some shit like that for locals and my husband actually saw my picture before we ever got to know each other and clicked "no" because, these are his words: "You looked like a bitch". He's really a sweet guy. His friend however, Navy guys all flock together, clicked "yes".

I got to know his friend through instant messenger and really didn't care for him. He was a pompous asshole and while I love jerks, there wasn't any sort of spark. I met his friend (my now husband) through him and there was immediate attraction. It was electric... and well, April 30th is our 5 year anniversary. I'm glad I took the chance with the shitty guy because it lead to something fantastic.

Trust me- our story changes every year as we've had to water it down for family and leave out a lot of the details (because 7 or 8 years ago meeting someone online was still considered taboo). Ask me the story again in 10 years and I'm sure it won't resemble anything of what I typed up here.

The overall summary is let the internet do it's job- connect people from all walks of life. If you meet this guy and he isn't Prince Charming, one of his friends might be. I've met a lot of people from online including one of my last bands and fellow musicians which led to a brief stint as a DJ on an unsigned website. I'm just saying, don't go in with the intention that it isn't going to led anywhere or if there will be nothing but insecurities- make sure to send as many photos as you can that way they don't get an unexpected surprise and ask them to do the same. With some people, it doesn't matter what you look like, however, it's always nice to see who you're chatting with.... and when taking pictures remember, NO MYSPACE ANGLES!
04/09/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by TinyTease
How long did you two talk before you met? Do you think that getting to know him online first was beneficial for your relationship in ways that meeting someone in person first wouldn't be?
We talked for about a year and a half.

I think that we were both able to put ourselves out there because of the anonymity the 'net allowed us and we probably got to more open parts of our relationship faster than we would have otherwise. I would have been a lot more withdrawn had it started any "traditionally."

There is some truth to the fact that relationships can (but not necessarily will) be built on something deeper/aside from looks. (Still, our relationship always has been super sexual). By the point that we met, we knew eachother REALLY well. It didn't come as much of a stretch that we would get married.

I think most people aren't so invested when they meet someone from the 'net. We weren't meeting for coffee and a donut - we met and he spent the night in my bed which was the plan. Heh
04/09/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Cinnamon Chambers
I have met a few people online, one girl I was with for a long time, and still talk to daily, one guy moved to OK, but I still see him when he comes to see his Mom, and we are still great friends, so it is possible and worth it even to make great ...
Yeah, that is really true. I have a lot of online friends and even tho, most of them I will probably never meet IRL, I do consider them very close friends and people I can confide in.
04/09/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
My boyfriend and I got to know each other pretty well through chatting online before we decided to start dating. We lived in the same town at the time and met each other (but didn't actually talk that much) at a convention. In fact, since ...
That's so great! Congratulations to you. A year is nothing to scoff at! Thank you for sharing.
04/09/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
My state was SMALL.. so really, the people online, you saw over and over again. Does anyone remember Hot or Not? About 7 or 8 years ago it was really popular, people were all over that shit like flies on honey. At the insistence of a friend I put my ...
"Ask me the story again in 10 years and I'm sure it won't resemble anything of what I typed up here." LOL Too funny. What an interesting story, tho!

I do hope that this will to lead somewhere other then friendship. I mean, really, he considers me his gf since his definition basically means lover who he cares for. Though we haven't had sex, obviously, we have been quite sexual with each other. I've sent lots and lots of pictures (no myspace angles - lol) and we have phone sex and all that.
04/09/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
We talked for about a year and a half.

I think that we were both able to put ourselves out there because of the anonymity the 'net allowed us and we probably got to more open parts of our relationship faster than we would have otherwise. I ...
Yah. We both talk about the day we meet in that same tone, even though we know we'll both be incredibly shy at first. Talking for a year and a half is a long time. Did you two ever have any disagreements/argument s/misunderstandings during that time? I ask because we've had 2 upsets, which can be incredibly hard to deal with when you are talking online.
04/09/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I met Taylor in a yahoo chatroom in 1998. We were friends but really not all that attracted to each other. (I think cuz we both come across like raging assholes online. Lol) We both went to OH to meet a mutual friend, to celebrate her birthday, in 2002. Seven weeks later he moved from WV to WI and we've been together ever since.

You just never know with online.

Take the chance.

Why waste more time if it's not going to work? Or waste more time talking online instead of face to face if the spark is there and he's the love of your life?

I don't even want to imagine where I'd be if I hadn't met Taylor when I did. It's the best thing I've ever done.

Just play it safe when you meet.
04/09/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by TinyTease
Yah. We both talk about the day we meet in that same tone, even though we know we'll both be incredibly shy at first. Talking for a year and a half is a long time. Did you two ever have any disagreements/argument s/misunderstandings during that ...
I never really thought of it as long but.. we were both in HS when we started talking and it never was really an option to meet before we did

We tend to argue a lot. We're both very stubborn. It wasn't any different online. When that's your main mode of communication, it's a given that you can have disagreements even if you haven't met. It is difficult to deal with them online. One of us could always just sign off or ignore the other if we were feeling particularly spiteful - it's usually harder to ignore an argument face to face.

I don't know if this necessarily matters, but we considered ourselves to be dating for nearly the entire time we knew eachother online. We dealt with all the typical relationship crap and then some of the special circumstances of the online thing.
04/09/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I met Taylor in a yahoo chatroom in 1998. We were friends but really not all that attracted to each other. (I think cuz we both come across like raging assholes online. Lol) We both went to OH to meet a mutual friend, to celebrate her birthday, in ...
Thanks. There are other things about our situation which make it difficult and also embarrassing to talk about (even online), but the biggest factor being I'm in Hawaii and he's in Seattle. The second biggest factors being that he is agoraphobic and has body dysmorphia.
04/09/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I never really thought of it as long but.. we were both in HS when we started talking and it never was really an option to meet before we did

We tend to argue a lot. We're both very stubborn. It wasn't any different online. When ...
Yeah, I feel like we deal with a lot of relationship stuff and a few other things because of the nature of our relationship so far. It can be very frustrating at times. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has had these sort of difficulties with regards to online relationships.
04/09/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by TinyTease
Thanks. There are other things about our situation which make it difficult and also embarrassing to talk about (even online), but the biggest factor being I'm in Hawaii and he's in Seattle. The second biggest factors being that he is ...
That does make it tough. I still say you meet him when you have the chance.
04/09/2009
TinyTease TinyTease
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
That does make it tough. I still say you meet him when you have the chance.
Thanks, Carrie Ann. I really want to! I'm hoping he'll have decided to see me when I'm out there.
04/09/2009
Sir Sir
Do it when you're ready, not just when you have the chance. If you're ready then, do it then. I met my partner online, and we were together that way for two years. It was hard, to say the least. Then I finally shipped her down here for me, and we met. Really though, we didn't spend time "getting to know each other." We knew each other well enough at that point. For us, nothing changed or was different. I've always been very real with her, so it was an easy transition.
06/13/2009
petname petname
You can certainly meet up in person, especially if you don't have expectations that you're going to be devastated about if they aren't met. The primary concern, of course, is safety, and to remedy this I would recommend meeting in a very public place and never being alone with him. Other than that, there's no real reason to avoid meeting in person.
03/08/2012
SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Personally, I wouldn't waste my time online so long without meeting them but if it works for you, I support you. Do what you think is right, I feel like you know.
03/11/2012
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 9