When do you choose to live together?

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When do you choose to live together?

chibi1091 chibi1091
At what point do you decide that living together is what's right for the two of you?
01/08/2012
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(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
I don't think there's a certain point in time (or the relationship) at which EVERYONE should start considering moving in with their partner. It will be different for each couple. We decided it was time to move in together when we started planning the wedding.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is, you'll know. When you feel safe in the stability of your relationship, when you know it's long term, etc.
01/08/2012
Coralbell Coralbell
I've never actually lived with a boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and we would live together, but we are both in school right now and can't afford to move out of our parent's houses. We plan to get a place when we both finish school next spring. I agree with InkedIvy that I would feel ready to move in together when it feels stable and long-term.
01/08/2012
Subbi Subbi
We started living together after about 2 years. Before that he lived across the street and basically lived at my house anyways.....so nothing changed
01/08/2012
js250 js250
Moving in together should feel right to you and your situations. It isn't a question that anyone can answer but the two of you. Each relationship is different. Basically there are a few rules: Do you feel comfortable and ready to move forward in your relationship? Do you feel this is the right thing to do at this time? Do you see the other person as a long time partner in your life?
01/08/2012
zeebot zeebot
I've only done it once, and it was a terrible decision. Make sure you actually like the person.
01/08/2012
Peggi Peggi
It depends on the people involved. He moved in 2 months after we met but we wanted to do it in the first couple of weeks.
01/09/2012
Nazaress Nazaress
I've only ever gotten that far with my current boyfriend but I would NEVER in a million years marry someone or even plan on marrying someone without living with them first for a long amount of time. Doing anything otherwise would seem like a huge mistake to me. You don't really know someone until you've lived with them and I would hate to marry someone only to find out we're not good for each other and that there are problems in our relationship that didn't exist until we lived together.

That being said, I started living with my boyfriend out of necessity but it wasn't as if we didn't want to, either, though. I had already practically been living there because I stayed for weeks at a time or at least days. We've been living together for a pretty long time now (probably almost a year but definitely a few months less, at most) and we've seen the worst of each other. We still love each other just as much and we've settled to our natural states around each other and are comfortable together so marriage isn't something that is going to be a huge leap, should it happen. That's the intelligent thing to do when it comes to marriage but to each their own, I guess.
01/09/2012
Jul!a Jul!a
I think it really varies for each couple, and there's no set right or wrong time that works for everybody. My husband and I moved in together almost right away and have been happy as can be for years now. I've had friends that waited and were happy as can be. It all boils down to what the two of you think at that time.
01/09/2012
toxie m toxie m
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and we're open about not being ready to live together. We'll assess the situation again in 6 months or a year, but there's no rush.
01/09/2012
Beck Beck
We decided to live together when I got kicked out of my parents house. We had been together for over a year at that time.
01/09/2012
Ghost Ghost
We decided to live together after I lost my "home". I really had no choice.
01/09/2012
zwee75 zwee75
I always wanted to wait until we got married. But my husband was living in California, I was in New Jersey. When we got to the point that we were serious and he decided to move back, to have him move back and find a place to live AND find a job would've been absurd, so he moved right in.
01/09/2012
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
When it is appropriate and convenient. I require living together before marriage or engagement. My current partner and I decided to live together after only dating for like 5 months and signed a lease, but we didn't actually move in together until more like 10 months of dating, although we practically camped out at each others places for weeks at a time before that.
01/09/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
When the time is right.
01/09/2012
NarcissisticLust NarcissisticLust
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
At what point do you decide that living together is what's right for the two of you?
I've been with my boyfriend for slightly over a year and next May we are getting an apartment together. We are both 21.
01/09/2012
shcoo shcoo
My partner and I have been together for over four years, and we are attending the same college. We are probably going to move into an on-campus apartment together next semester because it would be convenient and would let us spend more time together in our packed schedules.

I think the "right time" varies for everyone, but I think you should be dating for around 2 years first. Oh, and have "trial runs" as well! My partner has stayed over with me for a week or two at a time at my current residence.
01/12/2012
LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
At what point do you decide that living together is what's right for the two of you?
when we got pregnant. true story. the end.
01/12/2012
Undead Undead
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
At what point do you decide that living together is what's right for the two of you?
We don't yet but we're engaged and hoping to be out or our mom's houses by the end of the year.
01/12/2012
Jesse-in-TX Jesse-in-TX
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
At what point do you decide that living together is what's right for the two of you?
It is best to live together when you know that you can be loving and still yearning for one another even in the worst of times.

Like if your other is really sick; bed ridden and miserable, needing total care. Would you be by their side if say they throw up on themselves or the floor, clean it up and help them change, bathe them and nurture them back to health.
Or for instance if one or the other is in a bad accident and can't move about or has limited or no use of their hands. Could you dress them, feed them, wipe their behinds for them after using the toilet?

Co-habitation isn't all just about dreamy eyed, fall over your own feet puppy love. It is also about the possibility of seeing the other at their absolute worst, or them seeing you in your worst that should be considered as well.

I never thought about anything like that before my first marriage; in hind-sight I know it would have served. I also never considered it with my current relationship, but seeing the things that we have weathered for each other....lost work, no income, childbirth, awful sickness, my broken back....it makes all the difference and shows me what I thought was love before was not strong enough because they who I was with before could not have weathered half as much as the one I am with now.
01/12/2012
lil ladybug lil ladybug
We decided to live together about a month after taking our first vacation alone in 09, we had already been together since 04 and engaged since 08 and stayed at each others place a few times, so it was a well thought out process for us.
01/12/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
At what point do you decide that living together is what's right for the two of you?
Well it totally depends on the amount of time you've known each other, what you've learned about each other and more importantly, what you HAVE NOT learned. It also depends on beliefs, values, future plans, etc. It's taken us years to get there. We wanted to finish college first and be as ready and financially stable as possible. We've been together 5 years now and for the 1st 2 I was extremely ill and my main thing is I've always wanted to be married before taking that step. Just something I feel strongly about. We recently got our own place and oh, it's so so perfect! But I'm still finishing up with school and won't graduate until later this year plus there are a lot of things going on and IMO it's best to make that move when things are calm, not so stressful. It really depends on the person though. I like to be 100% organized in everything. I also have pretty strong beliefs that we both share and we want to kind of do it that way, but others may feel diff. It's important to discuss all of those things with your partner. To be honest, I moving in together is somethign that's a HUGE step for me, not something I could jump into like a lot of people do these days. I've never lived a boyfriend before. I think it's something that takes a long time to discuss, not just one or two days.
01/12/2012
Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
At what point do you decide that living together is what's right for the two of you?
Ive been with B for 2 years, and we still haven't gotten a place.
01/27/2012
Total posts: 23
Unique posters: 23