Who wants to give me dating advice?

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Who wants to give me dating advice?

KnK KnK
So, there's this guy that I dated several months back that I really liked. I felt so comfortable and happy when I was with him. He was the first guy that I met in awhile that really seemed to like me for me and even better, he never pushed for an immediate sexual relationship. I was kind of on the rebound and I was trying to date him as casually as I could. I explained that, and he understood it. He was fine with just hanging out and talking or watching movies together. He even cooked!

We would always hang out late in the night, he would often be in the middle of passing out when I was there. I would usually be so tired that I would likewise be about to pass out from exhaustion. He would always offer that I could spend the night (non-sexual request), but I would always refuse. Then one night, before I headed over like planned, I told him that I'd spend the night. He never responded. I waited hours and he never texted back. I called him a few times, trying to calm myself so I didn't act like a crazy person. And then I got on AIM. He was logged on. I messaged him and casually asked him "what's up?" He never responded.

A week went by and I was still upset. We had never been official, and I figured that he had probably blown me off. I texted him again and asked if I had done anything to upset him...I get foggy on the rest of the details. I can't remember if I sent anything mean-spirited or angry, but I remember telling him to enjoy his break (we go to the same university).

Today he emailed me the following message:

Hola
It's been a long while! How've you been? It was my own fault for disappearing when we last hung out. I was overwhelmed by so many things and I just kind of retreated into a hole and didn't talk to much of anyone for a while I wanted to get back in touch after a while but I had heard from some friends that you were dating someone, and I kind of figured I'd missed the boat.

Kind of a longshot, but if you feel like talking sometime I'd like that a lot. If you'd rather not, have an awesome break



Note: I am single, but I'm seriously debating what I should do. I'm thinking that I might cautiously begin talking to him, but I am worried because it really hurt when he stopped talking to me.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?
11/26/2010
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Qliq Qliq
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
So, there's this guy that I dated several months back that I really liked. I felt so comfortable and happy when I was with him. He was the first guy that I met in awhile that really seemed to like me for me and even better, he never pushed for an ...
I'd try meeting with him in person to talk things over. Communicating via text, email, and aim can very much skew information and leave you with the wrong impression of people's intentions!

Before you expose your feelings too much, I'd still make sure he's still interested in a relationship. If he is, ask about what exactly was keeping him from communicating. Then, make sure to communicate exactly how you felt; for example, explain how you felt after getting no response from him after agreeing to spend the night.

Hope that helps! Keep your spirits up!
12/05/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Yep. Meet him in person and talk. If you were to start being serious, is he going to pull back again and disappear?
12/06/2010
Lindz86 Lindz86
I honestly used to feel that everyone deserved a second chance...however I`m not quite so jaded these days...
Men can be giant D bags/a holes and a lot of the time honestly dont deserve that second chance. If he was willing to screw you over like that for finally wanting to spend the night, I say walk cuz you deserve better. There`s also a good chance he A:was being vindictive because he felt rejected that you didn`t want to sleep over sooner...B:Was sleeping with other women (as most men will when not in a `committed`relationshi p)...and Cthe final, most simple answer of them all)he`s just not that into you. I say honey, let him know that ship has sailed and you don`t need to put up with wondering when/if he`s gonna run away again. Not worth your time or the stress!
12/06/2010
Lindz86 Lindz86
Quote:
Originally posted by Lindz86
I honestly used to feel that everyone deserved a second chance...however I`m not quite so jaded these days...
Men can be giant D bags/a holes and a lot of the time honestly dont deserve that second chance. If he was willing to screw you over like ...
bahaha the was quite obvi supposed to be C: (....)
12/06/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
That sounds like a genuine apology. I see no reason to not try again.
12/06/2010
KnK KnK
I appreciate the perspective ladies. I'm having a hard time figuring this guy out. He's sweet, but then he retreats. There's a lot that I like about him, but I never know what's going on with him.

I got mad at him the other day because he guaranteed that he would be free on Sunday so we could hang out. I ask him on Sunday if he's still up for it and don't hear anything back until 2 hours later. Suddenly, he can't. He doesn't say why either. I think he only responded because I told him that I'm busy for the next two weeks and then I'll be out of town til Saturday...then he says "hopefully we can reschedule asap you can talk to me on AIM if you get bored when you're at home."

Call it vindictive if you will but I waited hours to respond and when I did, I told him that I'd see if I had time. Ugh, he acts so sweet, but then so stupid....ergh. I feel like he's getting cold feet already...
12/07/2010
Harlequin Harlequin
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
So, there's this guy that I dated several months back that I really liked. I felt so comfortable and happy when I was with him. He was the first guy that I met in awhile that really seemed to like me for me and even better, he never pushed for an ...
i wouldnt give the guy a second chance. if he really cared about me or really liked me he would have responded to me right away. i think hes making that whole situation up about not talking to anyone. sounds like a lie. why would he suddenly up and do that. he probably found another girl he was talking to and wanted to try it out with her but now hes trying to get back with you. this may not be the case but you never know. just sounds fishy to me. no excuse for ignoring people like that. takes 3 sec to send a txt explaining himself.
12/08/2010
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 6